Dreams

My mom says "She's just like you"! I know that she means it in a "God help us" kind of way but I am proud that my niece Brianna is thought to be like me!I think that it means she is a loving, sensitive, creative person.

It also means she has a dream. Brianna wants to come back to LA and be a film maker! I have dream as well and like Brianna, it involves creativity and hard work. It involves something that I am told I am good at and that I enjoy. I want to be a writer!

There are a couple of things that hold me back. Writing requires self discipline, which I don't have a lot of. I read 2 magazines and watched 3 movies before writing this blog tonight. I am also not sure how to make a living at writing. But for the first time I really want to try. The blog a day challenge has opened my eyes to how much I really enjoy writing and has established my daily habit of blogging. I am not only going to keep up my blog but I am working on a novel as well. I am going to take some classes and really make a go a writing. Thanks to Selena for the challenge to write the blog a day in May as it really made me think that this dream to become a writer might happen.

I am excited for Brianna as I know what it is like to have a dream. We are vastly diffrerent in age but I believe it is never too late to have a goal and work to make it happen. I'll be working on dream and will encourage Brianna to work on hers! Maybe I can write the screenplay for her first film. We are a like after all!

Dreams

My mom says "She's just like you"! I know that she means it in a "God help us" kind of way but I am proud that my niece Brianna is thought to be like me!I think that it means she is a loving, sensitive, creative person.

It also means she has a dream. Brianna wants to come back to LA and be a film maker! I have dream as well and like Brianna, it involves creativity and hard work. It involves something that I am told I am good at and that I enjoy. I want to be a writer!

There are a couple of things that hold me back. Writing requires self discipline, which I don't have a lot of. I read 2 magazines and watched 3 movies before writing this blog tonight. I am also not sure how to make a living at writing. But for the first time I really want to try. The blog a day challenge has opened my eyes to how much I really enjoy writing and has established my daily habit of blogging. I am not only going to keep up my blog but I am working on a novel as well. I am going to take some classes and really make a go a writing. Thanks to Selena for the challenge to write the blog a day in May as it really made me think that this dream to become a writer might happen.

I am excited for Brianna as I know what it is like to have a dream. We are vastly diffrerent in age but I believe it is never too late to have a goal and work to make it happen. I'll be working on dream and will encourage Brianna to work on hers! Maybe I can write the screenplay for her first film. We are a like after all!

My niece Brianna is just like me. She loves to read and is the creative moody type. So it was no surprize when my mom told me that she wants to

An Amazing Experience

The lobby has a Pottery Barn feel as the furnature has that black matte and chrome look. The fireplace gives of a bit of heat and its only when you get close that you realize it is fake! The overstuffed chair is comfy and there are magazines on the table. The staff is friendly and when asking "who is checking in today" they beam as they look down at the guest: your dog or cat!

Welcome to the PetSmart PetsHotel! A daily or long term boarding facility, the hotel is a welcome spot for pet parents to drop off their loved ones for a play date or sleepovers when they go out of town for the weekend or in some cases, weeks at a time! Staffed by pet lovers and owners, dogs and cats are taken care of and loved on as only pet lovers can do!

It was a year and 8 months ago when I was looking for a part-time job to pay off my credit cards. I fortuitously looked in the Times classifieds and there it was: an add to work with pets at the new PetSmart not far from my house! I thought "how perfect". As an occasional dog sitter, I knew I loved being around dogs! But that gig wasn't steady and I was really looking for a way to make extra money. I called and got an interview. I knew from the minute I walked in the job was heaven sent! Wonderful atmosphere, working with and for others who spoiled and loved their pets as much as I do! How perfect!

The staff that was hired back in 07 with me helped open the hotel as we were brand new store with the only Hotel for miles! Summer, Andrea, Monica, Mark, Michael...anyone that has been with the hotel since the beginning will tell you stories of the "growing pains" that got the hotel to the success it is today! They will also be the first to say that job isn't all fun and games! There are baths to give, feedings to do, floors to mop, poop to scoop! Sure, supervising dogs in day camp, watching them play...sounds ike fun...and it is. Yet it is also breaking up heated discussions between dogs or solving the issue of which dog gets the big Kong toy (none of them if it's causing a problem). Doggie Day Camp is much like playtime at a preschool! It is hard work! I will be the first to admit that sometimes I had it easier as I mostly manned the front desk instead of working in the back of the facility. However, there were days that I would have rather scooped poop than deal with the agitated pet parent who is running late and will miss their flight if I don't hurry up and check in their beloved and "perfect" pet into the hotel! Like any job there were good days and bad ones, ups and downs. There are also rewards! At the PetsHotel, those rewards come with seeing a puppy grow into a loving dog or getting your morning hello lick from a pet eager to go play with their friends! All is done for the love and care of the animals and the staff in Canoga Park truly loves animals and does what it takes to make sure the guests are taken care of!

As much as I knew the job was made for me, I had no idea what an impression the dogs would leave on my heart! Each one of them has a personality and a spirit that only the loving nature of a dog could have! Unique in many ways but also united in the simular characteristics of their breeds! There are the sweet Poms: Cinnamon and Gara, the fun loving puggles: Jaxson, Sammie, Jakey and Maui, the crazy Labs: Bonnie and Missy, the energetic Beagles: Sox, Cosmo, and Biscuit and the mellow bulldogs Bowie and Katie (who is so sweet with her "brother" Benji). Then there is the princess of the hotel, the oh so adorable Chloe, the Bichon Frise and crazy, loving Stanley (its hard to tell who is more excited when Stanley does tricks, Stanley or his pet parent Kim...LOL)! In fact, two of the sweetest dogs frequenting the hotel are of a breed most people wouldn't expect! Kudos to Judy and her very sweet Jemma and JB for bucking the stereotype and misconceptions people have of Pit Bulls!

The "regulars" become like family! We morn with Beagle Bubba Joe when he lost his human brother to a brain condition. We rejoice at the news that Missy the Lab will be getting a new human sibling soon. We cheer when Sox the beagle got a brother of his own species and breed when Cosmo joined his family! We are filled with joy when Rex, a pit bull puppy abandoned at the hotel is finally adopted and placed in his forever home! We laugh at the crazy things that happen in day camp like crazy Noodles getting ahold of the elastic in my pants and trying to pull them down or little chihuahua Joey acting like the playground cop, policing the yard over dogs twice his size! These aren't the only dogs that have made an impression (shout out to Cassidy, Mariah, Audi, Pizmo, Max and Molly). Every dog that has come in for a day, a week, a month is special!

It has taken me hours to write this as I can't stop tearing up! Why? I am writing this at the beginning of my first weekend free of the part-time job I didnt know I loved so much! I achieved my goal of paying off the cards and then some so it is time to leave PetSmart! After a year and 8 months, I need a break from the two job grind. It wasn't until now that I realized just how much I will miss the comradere among pets and those that love them! To quit was a hard decision to come by as I will miss the licks, the wags, the joy and smiles on the dogs faces when they go home! I will miss the humor and unconditional love of the animals as well as working with the dedicated, hard-working and pet loving staff at the Canoga Park PetsHotel! But it's time to move on! I believe that when you make a right decision, you know its right but that doesn't mean it will be easy!

I will absolutely never forget my experience at the PetsHotel as the job was more than just a paycheck. Being around animals and those that love them truly lifted my spirits. My full-time job is for the paycheck, my job at PetSmart was for my heart! Each animal I came in contact with left pawprints on my heart that will never go away! I am grateful to have had a job that validated my belief that people that love animals are the best people of all!

An Amazing Experience

The lobby has a Pottery Barn feel as the furnature has that black matte and chrome look. The fireplace gives of a bit of heat and its only when you get close that you realize it is fake! The overstuffed chair is comfy and there are magazines on the table. The staff is friendly and when asking "who is checking in today" they beam as they look down at the guest: your dog or cat!

Welcome to the PetSmart PetsHotel! A daily or long term boarding facility, the hotel is a welcome spot for pet parents to drop off their loved ones for a play date or sleepovers when they go out of town for the weekend or in some cases, weeks at a time! Staffed by pet lovers and owners, dogs and cats are taken care of and loved on as only pet lovers can do!

It was a year and 8 months ago when I was looking for a part-time job to pay off my credit cards. I fortuitously looked in the Times classifieds and there it was: an add to work with pets at the new PetSmart not far from my house! I thought "how perfect". As an occasional dog sitter, I knew I loved being around dogs! But that gig wasn't steady and I was really looking for a way to make extra money. I called and got an interview. I knew from the minute I walked in the job was heaven sent! Wonderful atmosphere, working with and for others who spoiled and loved their pets as much as I do! How perfect!

The staff that was hired back in 07 with me helped open the hotel as we were brand new store with the only Hotel for miles! Summer, Andrea, Monica, Mark, Michael...anyone that has been with the hotel since the beginning will tell you stories of the "growing pains" that got the hotel to the success it is today! They will also be the first to say that job isn't all fun and games! There are baths to give, feedings to do, floors to mop, poop to scoop! Sure, supervising dogs in day camp, watching them play...sounds ike fun...and it is. Yet it is also breaking up heated discussions between dogs or solving the issue of which dog gets the big Kong toy (none of them if it's causing a problem). Doggie Day Camp is much like playtime at a preschool! It is hard work! I will be the first to admit that sometimes I had it easier as I mostly manned the front desk instead of working in the back of the facility. However, there were days that I would have rather scooped poop than deal with the agitated pet parent who is running late and will miss their flight if I don't hurry up and check in their beloved and "perfect" pet into the hotel! Like any job there were good days and bad ones, ups and downs. There are also rewards! At the PetsHotel, those rewards come with seeing a puppy grow into a loving dog or getting your morning hello lick from a pet eager to go play with their friends! All is done for the love and care of the animals and the staff in Canoga Park truly loves animals and does what it takes to make sure the guests are taken care of!

As much as I knew the job was made for me, I had no idea what an impression the dogs would leave on my heart! Each one of them has a personality and a spirit that only the loving nature of a dog could have! Unique in many ways but also united in the simular characteristics of their breeds! There are the sweet Poms: Cinnamon and Gara, the fun loving puggles: Jaxson, Sammie, Jakey and Maui, the crazy Labs: Bonnie and Missy, the energetic Beagles: Sox, Cosmo, and Biscuit and the mellow bulldogs Bowie and Katie (who is so sweet with her "brother" Benji). Then there is the princess of the hotel, the oh so adorable Chloe, the Bichon Frise and crazy, loving Stanley (its hard to tell who is more excited when Stanley does tricks, Stanley or his pet parent Kim...LOL)! In fact, two of the sweetest dogs frequenting the hotel are of a breed most people wouldn't expect! Kudos to Judy and her very sweet Jemma and JB for bucking the stereotype and misconceptions people have of Pit Bulls!

The "regulars" become like family! We morn with Beagle Bubba Joe when he lost his human brother to a brain condition. We rejoice at the news that Missy the Lab will be getting a new human sibling soon. We cheer when Sox the beagle got a brother of his own species and breed when Cosmo joined his family! We are filled with joy when Rex, a pit bull puppy abandoned at the hotel is finally adopted and placed in his forever home! We laugh at the crazy things that happen in day camp like crazy Noodles getting ahold of the elastic in my pants and trying to pull them down or little chihuahua Joey acting like the playground cop, policing the yard over dogs twice his size! These aren't the only dogs that have made an impression (shout out to Cassidy, Mariah, Audi, Pizmo, Max and Molly). Every dog that has come in for a day, a week, a month is special!

It has taken me hours to write this as I can't stop tearing up! Why? I am writing this at the beginning of my first weekend free of the part-time job I didnt know I loved so much! I achieved my goal of paying off the cards and then some so it is time to leave PetSmart! After a year and 8 months, I need a break from the two job grind. It wasn't until now that I realized just how much I will miss the comradere among pets and those that love them! To quit was a hard decision to come by as I will miss the licks, the wags, the joy and smiles on the dogs faces when they go home! I will miss the humor and unconditional love of the animals as well as working with the dedicated, hard-working and pet loving staff at the Canoga Park PetsHotel! But it's time to move on! I believe that when you make a right decision, you know its right but that doesn't mean it will be easy!

I will absolutely never forget my experience at the PetsHotel as the job was more than just a paycheck. Being around animals and those that love them truly lifted my spirits. My full-time job is for the paycheck, my job at PetSmart was for my heart! Each animal I came in contact with left pawprints on my heart that will never go away! I am grateful to have had a job that validated my belief that people that love animals are the best people of all!

I took a call last week from a reporter and the subject eventually moved from his claim issue to writing. After I told him I blog, he of course asked what about. Instead of self-promoting and giving him the blog addy, I deferred, joking about the blogs random content



This is my last post in the "blog a day in the month of May" challenge set forth by my fellow blogger, Selena! It has been a great month and I have learned some things:



1) I love to write

2) I love the challenge of finding things to write about

3) I have established the habit of writing each day

4) I decided I finally want a career that involves writing



This has been a wonderful month and I am looking forward to continuing in June. I have blog ideas written on scraps of paper, in my Blackberry, and in a journal! I love my blog! It is at times a self-indulgent endeavor and sometimes I think "who cares". This blog is all over the map in terms of content but I hope it isn't boring!

Rich Girl....Poor Girl

I woke up this morning with the TV still on from last night. I was half asleep but I believe the gang on "Good Morning America" were talking about Archie (from the comic) finally ending the age old debate "Betty or Veronica". What I can gather in my non caffinated stupor is that Archie proposed to Veronica. Granted, the last time I read the comic was during recess in grade school but isn't Veronica the rich "va va va voom" hottie? This begs the never-ending question: Is it really just as easy to love a rich person as it is to love someone that isnt quite as wealthy?

The fantasy of marrying into money is attractive, no doubt! The cash tree is always blooming! No arguing about your shopping habits or coffee addiction. Just have him write the check or give you the platinmum card and off you go into a world of coffee dates, tanning appointments and trips to Nordstrom! Come home to your rich husband and a night of hanky panky and then wake up to breakfast outside overlooking your private beach and discuss your vacation to the Greek Isles. After all, isn't that how it is on those "Real Housewife" shows?

Truth is, the fantasy depicted above and on those "real" shows is much more entertaining then the reality facing most couples. Reality for the majority of couples is actually driving kids to play dates after a trip to Costco! Breakfast is gulped down while getting the overworked husband out the door to the 9-5 job he's barely hanging on to and the discussion about a vacation centers on not where you are going to go but the fact that this year you can't afford a vacation at all.

I have married friends in all economic brackets and the one thing they all tell me is that marriage isn't easy, it is work! The coolest couple on the planet now has to be the Obamas. They both have admitted they work at that seemingly perfect marriage. Even with that in mind, you can tell they truly love each other and have each others back!

A partnership with someone to make you laugh and who makes the craziness of life easier to take. That is what a marriage is to me. I would rather have a marriage built on love and shop at Costco than marry for money alone and shop at Saks. Yet I wouldn't turn down the man that provides love, respect humor and a vacation in the Greek Isles. I know he's out there!

Rich Girl....Poor Girl

I woke up this morning with the TV still on from last night. I was half asleep but I believe the gang on "Good Morning America" were talking about Archie (from the comic) finally ending the age old debate "Betty or Veronica". What I can gather in my non caffinated stupor is that Archie proposed to Veronica. Granted, the last time I read the comic was during recess in grade school but isn't Veronica the rich "va va va voom" hottie? This begs the never-ending question: Is it really just as easy to love a rich person as it is to love someone that isnt quite as wealthy?

The fantasy of marrying into money is attractive, no doubt! The cash tree is always blooming! No arguing about your shopping habits or coffee addiction. Just have him write the check or give you the platinmum card and off you go into a world of coffee dates, tanning appointments and trips to Nordstrom! Come home to your rich husband and a night of hanky panky and then wake up to breakfast outside overlooking your private beach and discuss your vacation to the Greek Isles. After all, isn't that how it is on those "Real Housewife" shows?

Truth is, the fantasy depicted above and on those "real" shows is much more entertaining then the reality facing most couples. Reality for the majority of couples is actually driving kids to play dates after a trip to Costco! Breakfast is gulped down while getting the overworked husband out the door to the 9-5 job he's barely hanging on to and the discussion about a vacation centers on not where you are going to go but the fact that this year you can't afford a vacation at all.

I have married friends in all economic brackets and the one thing they all tell me is that marriage isn't easy, it is work! The coolest couple on the planet now has to be the Obamas. They both have admitted they work at that seemingly perfect marriage. Even with that in mind, you can tell they truly love each other and have each others back!

A partnership with someone to make you laugh and who makes the craziness of life easier to take. That is what a marriage is to me. I would rather have a marriage built on love and shop at Costco than marry for money alone and shop at Saks. Yet I wouldn't turn down the man that provides love, respect humor and a vacation in the Greek Isles. I know he's out there!

Personal Finance-The Bane Of My Existance!

Financial responsibility has always aluded me! I know there are people living within their means, budgeting, saving just as I know there are people in credit card debt up to their eyeballs! I am somewhere in the middle of that, living paycheck to paycheck, dipping one toe in the debt free pool only to drag myself out of the water...yet again!

The depths of my financial irresponsibility are embarassing! I got my first department store credit card at age 16 after lying about my McDonalds salary on the application. Despite my Mother's warnings to the contrary and her attempts to confiscate the card, I had the sucker charged to the limit in about a week! That began my race to stay one step ahead of the creditors, eviction and debutors prison! They always manage to find you! I have 401k withdrawls, late card payments and overdraft charges that equaled close to a third of my take home! I have had cards cancelled and bank accounts closed. I have even changed phone numbers to stop the collection calls to no avail.

I reached a new low when several years ago I dabbled in the evil world of payday loans! It sounded good on paper: give them a check to hold in the amt of the loan and they will deposit it on your next payday. A check for the loan amt and something like 300% interest. Well....one of those quickly turned into 5 different ones each week and I soon was paying the interest and renewing them because I couldn't pay them off! They quickly added to a combined $1500 in loan amount alone! This self-induced insanity came to a screeching halt when I got frustrated trying to keep on top of them and just gave up and let them default. Most of them, it pains me now to say, just gave up trying to collect and I haven't seen or heard from them. However,one money hungry dude took me to small claims and of course, won! This $300 payday loan turned into $1700 after legal fees, interest and fines! It also earned a spot on the bad side of my credit report for 7 years! Oh joy!

The reason this has all come to mind and subsequently to the blog today is that due to an accounting error (a fancy way to say I forgot my vitamins would be debuted out of my account this week) I am overdrafted to the tune of $35 in fees! I am soo pissed! I had JUST told my roommate that although I have $5 in my account, at least it isn't overdrafted. Then I checked my online banking......ARRRRGH!! I can't belive I did this! This is why I HATE auto withdrawls out of my account! Send me a dang bill so I remember to deduct the freakin amount!!

The positive spin is in the reason I am pissed. It is because I have become a more responsible person with my money in the last year. I used my severance package to finally get out of that cycle of overdrafting my account and being $300 in the hole before I even get to payday! I paid off my cards (charged them up since but Suze Orman says that is ok in this economy) and decided that at least making an attempt to be financially secure felt better than a new pair of shoes. I make at least the minimum payments on the cards and my checking account is in the red more often than it's not! What a concept!

As with any self-improvement project, this one is a work in progress! I have a goal to be debt free and have money in savings by the end of the year! This time I plan to stay that way!

Personal Finance-The Bane Of My Existance!

Financial responsibility has always aluded me! I know there are people living within their means, budgeting, saving just as I know there are people in credit card debt up to their eyeballs! I am somewhere in the middle of that, living paycheck to paycheck, dipping one toe in the debt free pool only to drag myself out of the water...yet again!

The depths of my financial irresponsibility are embarassing! I got my first department store credit card at age 16 after lying about my McDonalds salary on the application. Despite my Mother's warnings to the contrary and her attempts to confiscate the card, I had the sucker charged to the limit in about a week! That began my race to stay one step ahead of the creditors, eviction and debutors prison! They always manage to find you! I have 401k withdrawls, late card payments and overdraft charges that equaled close to a third of my take home! I have had cards cancelled and bank accounts closed. I have even changed phone numbers to stop the collection calls to no avail.

I reached a new low when several years ago I dabbled in the evil world of payday loans! It sounded good on paper: give them a check to hold in the amt of the loan and they will deposit it on your next payday. A check for the loan amt and something like 300% interest. Well....one of those quickly turned into 5 different ones each week and I soon was paying the interest and renewing them because I couldn't pay them off! They quickly added to a combined $1500 in loan amount alone! This self-induced insanity came to a screeching halt when I got frustrated trying to keep on top of them and just gave up and let them default. Most of them, it pains me now to say, just gave up trying to collect and I haven't seen or heard from them. However,one money hungry dude took me to small claims and of course, won! This $300 payday loan turned into $1700 after legal fees, interest and fines! It also earned a spot on the bad side of my credit report for 7 years! Oh joy!

The reason this has all come to mind and subsequently to the blog today is that due to an accounting error (a fancy way to say I forgot my vitamins would be debuted out of my account this week) I am overdrafted to the tune of $35 in fees! I am soo pissed! I had JUST told my roommate that although I have $5 in my account, at least it isn't overdrafted. Then I checked my online banking......ARRRRGH!! I can't belive I did this! This is why I HATE auto withdrawls out of my account! Send me a dang bill so I remember to deduct the freakin amount!!

The positive spin is in the reason I am pissed. It is because I have become a more responsible person with my money in the last year. I used my severance package to finally get out of that cycle of overdrafting my account and being $300 in the hole before I even get to payday! I paid off my cards (charged them up since but Suze Orman says that is ok in this economy) and decided that at least making an attempt to be financially secure felt better than a new pair of shoes. I make at least the minimum payments on the cards and my checking account is in the red more often than it's not! What a concept!

As with any self-improvement project, this one is a work in progress! I have a goal to be debt free and have money in savings by the end of the year! This time I plan to stay that way!

To Have And To Prosecute?

Yesterday was Memorial Day, the day Americans honour the men and women, brothers and sisters, mothers and fathers that fight for the very rights that Americans hold dear. Those rights for most of us include the right to speak their minds freely, the right to go wherever they, to marry whom ever they want.
 
Oh yeah….wait a minute….I did say for many of us. There is still one segment of the population for whom that last item isn't a right! This item is a religious debate topic or a political hot button. Yes folks, I am talking about gay marriage! I just don't understand the hoopla, I don't.
 
As a human, I don't understand the need to make love difficult for anyone. There is so little of love in the world lately shouldn't we be celebrating love, not condemning it? Why should love of any variety be looked down upon because you don't agree with it or understand where it is coming from? Inter racial or same sex, love is love and should be embraced not shoved to a dark corner to be ignored or in states like California, outlawed! California! One of the most liberal states in the nation let religious groups from all over the land come in and spend money to scare our citizens into believing being gay can be taught or maybe even caught like a virus. That's right, Latter Day Saints, play the fear card!
 
As a Christian, I have a core set of beliefs. I believe some things are wrong in the eyes of God but I also believe that is between the person perpetrating the sin and their God! I don't believe in stepping in be it with my opinion, my bible or my laws to tell someone else how to behave. I don't condemn the alcoholics, the over spenders, the f-bomb droppers or the trampy socialites! ALL sins by the way! If we are going to use the bible as the argument to outlaw gay marriage, what about those that use G-damn? Taking the Lords name in vain is a sin in the bible, yet is it illegal in California? Not hardly! Sure, hide behind the "protect marriage" crap all you want! I won't believe it until adultery and divorce is punishable by law!  
 
On the same day that our first black president nominated our first Hispanic to the Supreme Court, California's highest court upheld the ban on same sex marriage. It's a shame that as a country we take two steps forward to equality for all only to take a giant step back when it comes to gay marriage. I hope that will change in my lifetime.
 

Sent via BlackBerry from T-Mobile

To Have And To Prosecute?

Yesterday was Memorial Day, the day Americans honour the men and women, brothers and sisters, mothers and fathers that fight for the very rights that Americans hold dear. Those rights for most of us include the right to speak their minds freely, the right to go wherever they, to marry whom ever they want.
 
Oh yeah….wait a minute….I did say for many of us. There is still one segment of the population for whom that last item isn't a right! This item is a religious debate topic or a political hot button. Yes folks, I am talking about gay marriage! I just don't understand the hoopla, I don't.
 
As a human, I don't understand the need to make love difficult for anyone. There is so little of love in the world lately shouldn't we be celebrating love, not condemning it? Why should love of any variety be looked down upon because you don't agree with it or understand where it is coming from? Inter racial or same sex, love is love and should be embraced not shoved to a dark corner to be ignored or in states like California, outlawed! California! One of the most liberal states in the nation let religious groups from all over the land come in and spend money to scare our citizens into believing being gay can be taught or maybe even caught like a virus. That's right, Latter Day Saints, play the fear card!
 
As a Christian, I have a core set of beliefs. I believe some things are wrong in the eyes of God but I also believe that is between the person perpetrating the sin and their God! I don't believe in stepping in be it with my opinion, my bible or my laws to tell someone else how to behave. I don't condemn the alcoholics, the over spenders, the f-bomb droppers or the trampy socialites! ALL sins by the way! If we are going to use the bible as the argument to outlaw gay marriage, what about those that use G-damn? Taking the Lords name in vain is a sin in the bible, yet is it illegal in California? Not hardly! Sure, hide behind the "protect marriage" crap all you want! I won't believe it until adultery and divorce is punishable by law!  
 
On the same day that our first black president nominated our first Hispanic to the Supreme Court, California's highest court upheld the ban on same sex marriage. It's a shame that as a country we take two steps forward to equality for all only to take a giant step back when it comes to gay marriage. I hope that will change in my lifetime.
 
Sent via BlackBerry from T-Mobile

Willing To Serve, Love And Wag

It is a remarkable story of redemption and hope. A story of those who have taken from society only to learn the joy of giving back. A story of those who's hearts have been previously closed off only to have them open by a furry bundle of joy eagerly waiting to learn and love! It is the story of Puppies Behind Bars.

Puppies Behind Bars is a not for profit organization that trains prison inmates to raise service dogs. One program within the Puppies Behind Bars organization is called DogTags. Under the DogTags Program inmates train puppies to become service dogs for soldiers returning from Afghanistan and Iraq. The fact that as the puppies mature into well-loved, well-behaved dogs is equally as important as the fact their raisers learn what it means to contribute to society, rather than take from it.
Inmates choosen by DogTags are given an 8 week old puppy to train. The puppies live with the inmates in the cels and are with them 24 hours a day for the duration of the training. At the end, the dogs are given to the service people ready to serve their needs and to help them function back into society.

Like many others, I came to this story via The Oprah Show. Actress Glen Close, who is active with the DogTags organization was on to tell Oprah the story of Frankie, a yellow lab raised by the inmates at Fishkill prison in NY. Frankie was trained and ultimately given to Sgt. Allen Hill.



Sgt. Hill suffers debilitating flashbacks that cause him to freeze and become catatonic. Frankie is trained to lovingly put her paws on the sargent and gently kiss him to bring him out of the state caused by Post Tramatic Stress Disorder. She has given him his life back as he is no longer afraid to go out and live his life. Frankie doesn't leave his side, even while off leash at home.

While the returning solders given dogs are the reasons for the program, they aren't the only benefactors. The inmates training the dogs reap rewards as well. They are now able to pay back to society a debt they didn't think they would be able to pay. They also are receiving unconditional love that allows them to open previously closed off parts of themselves. Parts they close off many times due to abuse. Now they have this being they are responsible for and that loves them!

It is amazing to see the transformation! When Sgt. Hill brought back Frankie to the inmates to say thank you, it was emotional beyond words! What brought me to absolute tears was when one of the inmates said how Frankie was part of their family, now Sgt Hill was part of their family! The redemption and healing this program affords both the inmmates and the solders is remarkable. Watching the videos and reading about this will move and inspire you!

To read Glenn's blog and interview with Sgt. Hill go to:



For more information about Puppies Behind Bars (and to view the most heart warming video...have tissues handy) go to:



Please help out this wonderful program! Spread the word and if you can, donate! A puppy, an inmate and a person in need will be grateful!

Willing To Serve, Love And Wag

It is a remarkable story of redemption and hope. A story of those who have taken from society only to learn the joy of giving back. A story of those who's hearts have been previously closed off only to have them open by a furry bundle of joy eagerly waiting to learn and love! It is the story of Puppies Behind Bars.

Puppies Behind Bars is a not for profit organization that trains prison inmates to raise service dogs. One program within the Puppies Behind Bars organization is called DogTags. Under the DogTags Program inmates train puppies to become service dogs for soldiers returning from Afghanistan and Iraq. The fact that as the puppies mature into well-loved, well-behaved dogs is equally as important as the fact their raisers learn what it means to contribute to society, rather than take from it.
Inmates choosen by DogTags are given an 8 week old puppy to train. The puppies live with the inmates in the cels and are with them 24 hours a day for the duration of the training. At the end, the dogs are given to the service people ready to serve their needs and to help them function back into society.

Like many others, I came to this story via The Oprah Show. Actress Glen Close, who is active with the DogTags organization was on to tell Oprah the story of Frankie, a yellow lab raised by the inmates at Fishkill prison in NY. Frankie was trained and ultimately given to Sgt. Allen Hill.



Sgt. Hill suffers debilitating flashbacks that cause him to freeze and become catatonic. Frankie is trained to lovingly put her paws on the sargent and gently kiss him to bring him out of the state caused by Post Tramatic Stress Disorder. She has given him his life back as he is no longer afraid to go out and live his life. Frankie doesn't leave his side, even while off leash at home.

While the returning solders given dogs are the reasons for the program, they aren't the only benefactors. The inmates training the dogs reap rewards as well. They are now able to pay back to society a debt they didn't think they would be able to pay. They also are receiving unconditional love that allows them to open previously closed off parts of themselves. Parts they close off many times due to abuse. Now they have this being they are responsible for and that loves them!

It is amazing to see the transformation! When Sgt. Hill brought back Frankie to the inmates to say thank you, it was emotional beyond words! What brought me to absolute tears was when one of the inmates said how Frankie was part of their family, now Sgt Hill was part of their family! The redemption and healing this program affords both the inmmates and the solders is remarkable. Watching the videos and reading about this will move and inspire you!

To read Glenn's blog and interview with Sgt. Hill go to:



For more information about Puppies Behind Bars (and to view the most heart warming video...have tissues handy) go to:



Please help out this wonderful program! Spread the word and if you can, donate! A puppy, an inmate and a person in need will be grateful!

Freedom and Gratitude

What Freedom Means To Me:

--It means being able to have enough time off to go where I want, when I want
--It means being able to move about the world unimpeded
--it means being able go say what I want
--It means being able to use my Blackberry to communicate without being held back by wires, walls or censorship

These are just a few of the things that I enjoy about living in a country where I am free. Free to go, say and do what I want. Being an American means that I have the luxury of freedom that is not afforded to citizens of every country. I feel that being born here is a blessing and one that doesn't come without a price.

That price is being paid by others than myself. It is a price paid by the men and women who have fought for this country since the day it was formed. It is a price paid by every parent who sent a child or loved one into a war only to not see them return. It is a price paid by every veteran who has come home a changed person from before they left.

I am so grateful for those who for centuries have felt the call to serve this wonderful country and answer that call to commit to something that is bigger than all of us. Today is a day where we pause to reflect, remember, say thank you. If you know a Veteran personally, say thank you, give them a hug. If you don't know any personally, say thanks in a prayer or moment of silent gratitude. They deserve it.

Freedom and Gratitude

What Freedom Means To Me:

--It means being able to have enough time off to go where I want, when I want
--It means being able to move about the world unimpeded
--it means being able go say what I want
--It means being able to use my Blackberry to communicate without being held back by wires, walls or censorship

These are just a few of the things that I enjoy about living in a country where I am free. Free to go, say and do what I want. Being an American means that I have the luxury of freedom that is not afforded to citizens of every country. I feel that being born here is a blessing and one that doesn't come without a price.

That price is being paid by others than myself. It is a price paid by the men and women who have fought for this country since the day it was formed. It is a price paid by every parent who sent a child or loved one into a war only to not see them return. It is a price paid by every veteran who has come home a changed person from before they left.

I am so grateful for those who for centuries have felt the call to serve this wonderful country and answer that call to commit to something that is bigger than all of us. Today is a day where we pause to reflect, remember, say thank you. If you know a Veteran personally, say thank you, give them a hug. If you don't know any personally, say thanks in a prayer or moment of silent gratitude. They deserve it.

Life Gave Me Lemons And I Made Delicious Lemonade

It was terrible pain! The pain of having my entire family pick up and move to Arizona was made worse only by the fact that they didn't want me to go. I have been estranged from them most of my life so this shouldn't have surprized me. But it did and it hurt like hell!

What it also did was cause me to look up a dear friend who mentioned months before that she had a room for rent. I decided with my family an entire state away, i no longer felt safe living on my own. I asked if the room was still for rent and she said if I didn't mind sharing the house with 3 adults, four kids and 2 four month old rottweilers! I didn't and moved on in to the bedroom Val and I shared! This house was crazy to be sure. Val and I shared a room and slept on twin beds, Ashley slept on a bed that was moved into the living room, the 3 boys shared the room I am in now and their parents and the Rotties shared the room downstairs. It was a crazy house full of people but it was also full of laughter and love. It was just what I needed!

This crazy house is the birthplace of my restoration. Moving into the house in Northridge restored my life and my soul! In this house, which I still live in, I have thrived and made massive improvements in all areas: physical, mental, spiritual. But had you told me 8 years ago this would happen, I would have been wallowing in pain and not believed you! But it did happen and I will be forever grateful!

Life Gave Me Lemons And I Made Delicious Lemonade

It was terrible pain! The pain of having my entire family pick up and move to Arizona was made worse only by the fact that they didn't want me to go. I have been estranged from them most of my life so this shouldn't have surprized me. But it did and it hurt like hell!

What it also did was cause me to look up a dear friend who mentioned months before that she had a room for rent. I decided with my family an entire state away, i no longer felt safe living on my own. I asked if the room was still for rent and she said if I didn't mind sharing the house with 3 adults, four kids and 2 four month old rottweilers! I didn't and moved on in to the bedroom Val and I shared! This house was crazy to be sure. Val and I shared a room and slept on twin beds, Ashley slept on a bed that was moved into the living room, the 3 boys shared the room I am in now and their parents and the Rotties shared the room downstairs. It was a crazy house full of people but it was also full of laughter and love. It was just what I needed!

This crazy house is the birthplace of my restoration. Moving into the house in Northridge restored my life and my soul! In this house, which I still live in, I have thrived and made massive improvements in all areas: physical, mental, spiritual. But had you told me 8 years ago this would happen, I would have been wallowing in pain and not believed you! But it did happen and I will be forever grateful!

Expect The Unexpected

I have been enjoying the blog a day challenge! I really like coming up with ideas for the blog and executing them! In fact, I have been waking up each morning looking forward to writing, something I never used to do.

Unfortunately today got away from me! I planned to come home today and write but then got an unexpected invite to go to dinner and movies with my friend Shannon and while watching the trailers at 10:15PM, I realise I didn't write a blog today! Thank heavens for the Blackberry I am typing on!

As unexpected as the invite is my disappointment in not being able to write the blog! I did not expect to enjoy blogging this much!
I have a good one for tomorrow and look forward to Joining Selena in writing Memes.

Stay tuned and I'll see ya in the morning :)
Sent via BlackBerry from T-Mobile

Expect The Unexpected

I have been enjoying the blog a day challenge! I really like coming up with ideas for the blog and executing them! In fact, I have been waking up each morning looking forward to writing, something I never used to do.

Unfortunately today got away from me! I planned to come home today and write but then got an unexpected invite to go to dinner and movies with my friend Shannon and while watching the trailers at 10:15PM, I realise I didn't write a blog today! Thank heavens for the Blackberry I am typing on!

As unexpected as the invite is my disappointment in not being able to write the blog! I did not expect to enjoy blogging this much!
I have a good one for tomorrow and look forward to Joining Selena in writing Memes.

Stay tuned and I'll see ya in the morning :)
Sent via BlackBerry from T-Mobile

5 Courses To Take To Fix My Life

My friend Selena hooked me up with the cool idea of the "meme". I think they are ways to spark creativity. Unlike traditional blogs, memes come with rules. Selena tagged me in this cool meme so I thought I would give it a try.

Here are the rules:
“Devise a list of 5 courses you would take to fix your life. It’s more fun to be in classes with friends, so include them into at least one class. Tag five people to complete this meme as well.”

5 Courses To Fix My Life:

How To Live Within Your Budget And Still Subsidize Your Starbucks Habit

My habit isn't as severe as it was when I would hit the Starbucks on the way to work AND on the way home! $4 a visit x 2 visits a day x 5 days a week....well, you do the math! Maybe the class should be....

How To Kick Your Starbucks Addiction!

Switch to water. Easy Class

Ok...so now we have kicked the caffiene habit and added $160 a month to the wallet. What else can we improve? Ah yes....

How To Meet The Man Of Your Dreams By On-Line Dating

You would think this would be simple: sign up, write a few words and watch the pics and emails come pouring in. Not so easy! What you write and the pics you choose speak volumes about you! I can't use the pic with the Patron bottle...says party girl! Don't want to write about my dogs...says "crazy dog lady". I need to take a class to have someone break it down for me once and for all.

How To Make Millions By Staying Home And Watching TV

Not going to happen but I should take one of those "follow your bliss" extension courses. I am stuck right now in a customer service job working nights. I am thrilled with the paycheck, not the job. I need to make money doing what I am good at which is writing.

That leads me to the final class, the only true, actual class and that is:

Creative Writing 101

I would love for my fellow blogger Selena and I to take this class together. We are both writers looking for ways to turn this talent into money and this class would be a start.

So there you have it! Classes I would take, if I could, to change my life. I could probably be "home schooled" on most of these. Many thanks to my friend Selena for this idea. Check out her blog at ohmyachesandpains.blogspot.com.

5 Courses To Take To Fix My Life

My friend Selena hooked me up with the cool idea of the "meme". I think they are ways to spark creativity. Unlike traditional blogs, memes come with rules. Selena tagged me in this cool meme so I thought I would give it a try.

Here are the rules:
“Devise a list of 5 courses you would take to fix your life. It’s more fun to be in classes with friends, so include them into at least one class. Tag five people to complete this meme as well.”

5 Courses To Fix My Life:

How To Live Within Your Budget And Still Subsidize Your Starbucks Habit

My habit isn't as severe as it was when I would hit the Starbucks on the way to work AND on the way home! $4 a visit x 2 visits a day x 5 days a week....well, you do the math! Maybe the class should be....

How To Kick Your Starbucks Addiction!

Switch to water. Easy Class

Ok...so now we have kicked the caffiene habit and added $160 a month to the wallet. What else can we improve? Ah yes....

How To Meet The Man Of Your Dreams By On-Line Dating

You would think this would be simple: sign up, write a few words and watch the pics and emails come pouring in. Not so easy! What you write and the pics you choose speak volumes about you! I can't use the pic with the Patron bottle...says party girl! Don't want to write about my dogs...says "crazy dog lady". I need to take a class to have someone break it down for me once and for all.

How To Make Millions By Staying Home And Watching TV

Not going to happen but I should take one of those "follow your bliss" extension courses. I am stuck right now in a customer service job working nights. I am thrilled with the paycheck, not the job. I need to make money doing what I am good at which is writing.

That leads me to the final class, the only true, actual class and that is:

Creative Writing 101

I would love for my fellow blogger Selena and I to take this class together. We are both writers looking for ways to turn this talent into money and this class would be a start.

So there you have it! Classes I would take, if I could, to change my life. I could probably be "home schooled" on most of these. Many thanks to my friend Selena for this idea. Check out her blog at ohmyachesandpains.blogspot.com.

Oh, Yippeee! Exercise!

I bought the cutest bike! It is so nice! It is pink and kind of retro looking, a cruiser bike with Shimano Derailleaur gears (don't know what that is but it sounds expensive). I found it onsale at Target and fought to get it in the back of my car. It barely fit but I was determined to get it home and ride it.

The bike represents the kind of exercise I like. I like exercise that is fun and doesn't seem like exercise. I like to be outside, wind in the hair, listening to the 70's station on XM...that is exercise I can believe in!

Exercise is the next step on my plan to self improvement. I feel so good when I am doing it, good after it's done but getting off the computer and going out to exercise is the challenge. That is why the blog today is a little late for my AM bike ride. I need to get out before it gets hot. So I am off to tool around my neighborhood. Like all the other steps in the plan, exercise will be one day at a time! However, this will be THREE days in a row and its a start.

Oh, Yippeee! Exercise!

I bought the cutest bike! It is so nice! It is pink and kind of retro looking, a cruiser bike with Shimano Derailleaur gears (don't know what that is but it sounds expensive). I found it onsale at Target and fought to get it in the back of my car. It barely fit but I was determined to get it home and ride it.

The bike represents the kind of exercise I like. I like exercise that is fun and doesn't seem like exercise. I like to be outside, wind in the hair, listening to the 70's station on XM...that is exercise I can believe in!

Exercise is the next step on my plan to self improvement. I feel so good when I am doing it, good after it's done but getting off the computer and going out to exercise is the challenge. That is why the blog today is a little late for my AM bike ride. I need to get out before it gets hot. So I am off to tool around my neighborhood. Like all the other steps in the plan, exercise will be one day at a time! However, this will be THREE days in a row and its a start.

So We Have To Say Goodbye For The Summer

All over the country kids are saying goodbye to their friends. They are cleaning out the lockers, signing the yearbooks, making plans for summer. Some friends will be back, others will not. Like a student on summer break, I am saying bye to some friends as well!

Ok, so my friends aren't real, I get it! But they come into my home every week and I am as invested in their lives like I would be if we met weekely at the Coffee Bean to catch up!

Jack Bauer, my friend, you have saved the world for 7 seasons, 6 of them was i my own city! Thank you! Don't worry about that bastard Tony! He wasn't entirely evil and something tells me we haven't seen the end of him. Say hi to Kim! I hope to see you next spring!

Blair, Serena, Nate, Chuck...have a great summer in the South of France, Milan, the Hamptons or whatever you will vacation! I know I will be able to keep up with you all on "Gossip Girl" but is there a spot on the jet for me? XOXOXO

Chuck...WAHOO...you are coming back! I know it was touch and go and that there was a possibility you would be moving (to another network) but you are coming back! sorry we won't see you until after the Olympics but I am so glad you are coming back!

I really hate to say goodbye to these friends and the others...The Walker Family...the housewifes...but lucky for me my friends will be back. Summer will be long and boring with out them but maybe i'll get out and exercise. Fall TV will be here before we know it!

So We Have To Say Goodbye For The Summer

All over the country kids are saying goodbye to their friends. They are cleaning out the lockers, signing the yearbooks, making plans for summer. Some friends will be back, others will not. Like a student on summer break, I am saying bye to some friends as well!

Ok, so my friends aren't real, I get it! But they come into my home every week and I am as invested in their lives like I would be if we met weekely at the Coffee Bean to catch up!

Jack Bauer, my friend, you have saved the world for 7 seasons, 6 of them was i my own city! Thank you! Don't worry about that bastard Tony! He wasn't entirely evil and something tells me we haven't seen the end of him. Say hi to Kim! I hope to see you next spring!

Blair, Serena, Nate, Chuck...have a great summer in the South of France, Milan, the Hamptons or whatever you will vacation! I know I will be able to keep up with you all on "Gossip Girl" but is there a spot on the jet for me? XOXOXO

Chuck...WAHOO...you are coming back! I know it was touch and go and that there was a possibility you would be moving (to another network) but you are coming back! sorry we won't see you until after the Olympics but I am so glad you are coming back!

I really hate to say goodbye to these friends and the others...The Walker Family...the housewifes...but lucky for me my friends will be back. Summer will be long and boring with out them but maybe i'll get out and exercise. Fall TV will be here before we know it!

Getting In My Own Way

I am sitting down at the laptop this morning and I fully intend to update my profile on the dating site. I am going to add pics and look for interesting men. But first, let me pay my Spring bill and then.....oh, EW.com has Fall TV News....um...I'll just go over there for a minute...oh yeah, need to check the DirectTV site to see how long it is only $29 a month...and then my horoscope needs checking...gotta go feed the dogs and then will update the dating site...right after I make my lunch...ooohh..it's 1:30, gotta a take a shower and get ready for work. I'll update my profile tonight when I get home.

Yeah, sure! Why am I dragging my feet over this? I really have it in my mind that I want to, I'm even excited about it! Yet every time I get ready to go online to get started, a million other things come to mind that are seemingly more important. Fear can't get in the way anymore. Nether can eonline, my dogs, my bills or anything else. TV season is over and the rest of "Twilight" will wait. I have got to get out there or I am going to die a lonely dog lady!

I am not making dating a priority and I know I really need to do that. Right after I clean out my closet...wash the car...get a pedicure....Urrggh! Ok...going online tonight when I get home. I swear!

Getting In My Own Way

I am sitting down at the laptop this morning and I fully intend to update my profile on the dating site. I am going to add pics and look for interesting men. But first, let me pay my Spring bill and then.....oh, EW.com has Fall TV News....um...I'll just go over there for a minute...oh yeah, need to check the DirectTV site to see how long it is only $29 a month...and then my horoscope needs checking...gotta go feed the dogs and then will update the dating site...right after I make my lunch...ooohh..it's 1:30, gotta a take a shower and get ready for work. I'll update my profile tonight when I get home.

Yeah, sure! Why am I dragging my feet over this? I really have it in my mind that I want to, I'm even excited about it! Yet every time I get ready to go online to get started, a million other things come to mind that are seemingly more important. Fear can't get in the way anymore. Nether can eonline, my dogs, my bills or anything else. TV season is over and the rest of "Twilight" will wait. I have got to get out there or I am going to die a lonely dog lady!

I am not making dating a priority and I know I really need to do that. Right after I clean out my closet...wash the car...get a pedicure....Urrggh! Ok...going online tonight when I get home. I swear!

Starting Over Again--Step One!

Starting my blog and my ongoing quest to start online dating have me thinking about other areas in my life where I could improve my life. This week I am going to start what millions before me have started. It's something I have started before, usually on a Monday, and ended before, usually on the following Wednesday. This time, however, I am going to really stick to it. I found something I like so I hoping for it to last longer than three days. It is an diet/exercise program.

That's right, I said exercise. Me! The couch potato supreme. One of the steps to the new me is to start exercising. Why not? I am infused with the excitment of summer starting, the TV season is over for the summer and I have a brand new pink bike. Perfect time to take the bike out for a daily spin! I live real close to a Panera Bakery and a Starbucks. I'll just get up before it gets hot, throw the laptop in the backpack and out to air conditioned comfort to write the blog or read. Enrich the mind, get caffinated, and throw a little exercise in. Sounds like a great plan right?

I will warn you, I am genius at thinking up the plans and a slacker at executing them. This one sounds like one I can stick to! I love to be outside and riding a bike doesn't hurt my ankles or any other part of my body. Plus I am likely to do anything if I know there is a non-fat latte waiting at the end of the road! Genius plan, if I do say so myself! Anyone want to come with me?

Tomorrow...part two of the plan: Back To Weight Watchers!

:)

Starting Over Again--Step One!

Starting my blog and my ongoing quest to start online dating have me thinking about other areas in my life where I could improve my life. This week I am going to start what millions before me have started. It's something I have started before, usually on a Monday, and ended before, usually on the following Wednesday. This time, however, I am going to really stick to it. I found something I like so I hoping for it to last longer than three days. It is an diet/exercise program.

That's right, I said exercise. Me! The couch potato supreme. One of the steps to the new me is to start exercising. Why not? I am infused with the excitment of summer starting, the TV season is over for the summer and I have a brand new pink bike. Perfect time to take the bike out for a daily spin! I live real close to a Panera Bakery and a Starbucks. I'll just get up before it gets hot, throw the laptop in the backpack and out to air conditioned comfort to write the blog or read. Enrich the mind, get caffinated, and throw a little exercise in. Sounds like a great plan right?

I will warn you, I am genius at thinking up the plans and a slacker at executing them. This one sounds like one I can stick to! I love to be outside and riding a bike doesn't hurt my ankles or any other part of my body. Plus I am likely to do anything if I know there is a non-fat latte waiting at the end of the road! Genius plan, if I do say so myself! Anyone want to come with me?

Tomorrow...part two of the plan: Back To Weight Watchers!

:)

Why Is It So Hard To Date In LA?

Three guys sitting at Panera whining about dating in LA. "Why do they all want it w/strings attached" "Yeah...Its no big deal. I'll miss ya for a few days but then my life goes on"



shan~~~Dating plus LA /So CA equals horror! No wonder we're still single.

Is It A Conspiracy Or Temporary Delay?

At first I thought God is working in my life because for the last couple of days I have been totally thinking of working on my online dating profile. I truly think I am ready to get out there because I am excited about getting online, eager to find someone fun to do things with, thrilled to think about sitting with someone of the opposite sex, laughing and sharing ideas, looking forward to great blog material and to maybe become the next Carrie Bradshaw.

This morning someone other than a devine being was at work against me. The brakes were temporarily put on my attempts to find ...I was going to say find "the perfect man" but since he doesn't exist I will use the generic find "someone". But I digress. Here I am at Panera Bakery on a lazy Sunday morning. I am sitting in my favorite booth, laptop plugged in, coffee in hand and I am ready to pimp my profile and get started. See, its already hot at home and I also work better where there are no distractions. The perfect atmosphere to get started, fix my profile and chat a bit. Guess what? The website is blocked! Apprarently Panera doesn't want to take a chance that you will be doing anything imoral or illegal so some websites are blocked. Great!

Normally I would welcome this delay in something I have been afraid to do. I would take this as a sign that I am headed down the wrong path and continue on doing what I am doing. But to borrow from Dr Phil, "what about this is working for you". The answer to that question in my case is nothing. Nothing about staying at home with the dogs is working for me. I am learning that you have to get out of the fear and see what you truly want.

I have full faith in God and that He doesn't want me to spend the rest of my life with my dogs, as wonderfully loving as they may be. Instead of being relived I can't access the dating site I am actually disappointed! I am disappointed I won't be finding interesting and funny men from all walks of life but comforted to know it's just a temporary delay. I will be home later this evening, on line, chatting and working on my profile, I promise! I can't wait!

Is It A Conspiracy Or Temporary Delay?

At first I thought God is working in my life because for the last couple of days I have been totally thinking of working on my online dating profile. I truly think I am ready to get out there because I am excited about getting online, eager to find someone fun to do things with, thrilled to think about sitting with someone of the opposite sex, laughing and sharing ideas, looking forward to great blog material and to maybe become the next Carrie Bradshaw.

This morning someone other than a devine being was at work against me. The brakes were temporarily put on my attempts to find ...I was going to say find "the perfect man" but since he doesn't exist I will use the generic find "someone". But I digress. Here I am at Panera Bakery on a lazy Sunday morning. I am sitting in my favorite booth, laptop plugged in, coffee in hand and I am ready to pimp my profile and get started. See, its already hot at home and I also work better where there are no distractions. The perfect atmosphere to get started, fix my profile and chat a bit. Guess what? The website is blocked! Apprarently Panera doesn't want to take a chance that you will be doing anything imoral or illegal so some websites are blocked. Great!

Normally I would welcome this delay in something I have been afraid to do. I would take this as a sign that I am headed down the wrong path and continue on doing what I am doing. But to borrow from Dr Phil, "what about this is working for you". The answer to that question in my case is nothing. Nothing about staying at home with the dogs is working for me. I am learning that you have to get out of the fear and see what you truly want.

I have full faith in God and that He doesn't want me to spend the rest of my life with my dogs, as wonderfully loving as they may be. Instead of being relived I can't access the dating site I am actually disappointed! I am disappointed I won't be finding interesting and funny men from all walks of life but comforted to know it's just a temporary delay. I will be home later this evening, on line, chatting and working on my profile, I promise! I can't wait!

From Rock And Roll To The Nerd Prom

The Washington Correspondence Dinner! Where the power elite meet Hollywood chic! I followed all the action on Twitter: there is Tom, Katie and Donna Brazile, DC pundent. Oh look....its Robert Gibbs, White House Press Secretary and Barbara Walters! Look over there it's.....nah....it can't be...OMG it is...WHAT IS JON BON JOVI DOING AT THE "NERD PROM"?!?! What am I doing following something called "the nerd prom"? What happened to parties, booze and rock and roll? What happened to youth?

Seeing Jon hob nobbing with the Washington wonks instead of groupies made me think back to when we first "met". It was the fall of 1986. I had just moved into my first apartment and was struggling with becoming an adult. It was scary and exhilarating but one thing puzzled me: how can I do this growing up crap and still have fun! I don't want to let go of the fun! Enter "Slippery When Wet"!

"Slippery When Wet", Bon Jovi's 3rd album, infused a spirit of Jersey Shore fun into my crazy life. It was a spirit of anything goes, of parties, of fun! And fun I did have! Fun with the traveling to see the band all over the country, fun with the new friends I made, fun with sneaking in to radio stations to meet them! Following Bon Jovi became so addicting and so fun that responsibility went by the wayside. Money for bills was spent on concert tickets, jobs were put in jeopardy by time spent traveling instead of working, life became all about the fun!

Then I grew up...we ALL grew up...mortals and rock stars alike. I knew I had finally hit adulthood when I missed the last Jovi tour because I couldn't afford it! I didn't travel to see them in New York, I didn't even see them in downtown LA! I knew Jon Bon Jovi hit itwhen I saw him on Oprah after the inaguration, talking about social responsibility and his philanthropy efforts! It seems we have both learned a thing about balance!

This balance doesn't mean I give up my love of Bon Jovi, no way! Those trips to NY are amazing. Now, as an adult, I budget for them and plan for them. And I can follow rock bands and Nerd Prom attendees in equal measure! During the journey to adulthood I have learned I don't have to give up fun along the way, I just need to keep it in check. Like an adult.

From Rock And Roll To The Nerd Prom

The Washington Correspondence Dinner! Where the power elite meet Hollywood chic! I followed all the action on Twitter: there is Tom, Katie and Donna Brazile, DC pundent. Oh look....its Robert Gibbs, White House Press Secretary and Barbara Walters! Look over there it's.....nah....it can't be...OMG it is...WHAT IS JON BON JOVI DOING AT THE "NERD PROM"?!?! What am I doing following something called "the nerd prom"? What happened to parties, booze and rock and roll? What happened to youth?

Seeing Jon hob nobbing with the Washington wonks instead of groupies made me think back to when we first "met". It was the fall of 1986. I had just moved into my first apartment and was struggling with becoming an adult. It was scary and exhilarating but one thing puzzled me: how can I do this growing up crap and still have fun! I don't want to let go of the fun! Enter "Slippery When Wet"!

"Slippery When Wet", Bon Jovi's 3rd album, infused a spirit of Jersey Shore fun into my crazy life. It was a spirit of anything goes, of parties, of fun! And fun I did have! Fun with the traveling to see the band all over the country, fun with the new friends I made, fun with sneaking in to radio stations to meet them! Following Bon Jovi became so addicting and so fun that responsibility went by the wayside. Money for bills was spent on concert tickets, jobs were put in jeopardy by time spent traveling instead of working, life became all about the fun!

Then I grew up...we ALL grew up...mortals and rock stars alike. I knew I had finally hit adulthood when I missed the last Jovi tour because I couldn't afford it! I didn't travel to see them in New York, I didn't even see them in downtown LA! I knew Jon Bon Jovi hit itwhen I saw him on Oprah after the inaguration, talking about social responsibility and his philanthropy efforts! It seems we have both learned a thing about balance!

This balance doesn't mean I give up my love of Bon Jovi, no way! Those trips to NY are amazing. Now, as an adult, I budget for them and plan for them. And I can follow rock bands and Nerd Prom attendees in equal measure! During the journey to adulthood I have learned I don't have to give up fun along the way, I just need to keep it in check. Like an adult.

Another Friday Night

Ok...I am just going to say it: I am desperate and dateless. I am spending another weekend without male company. I am working, hanging out with dear and wonderful girlfriends, relaxing in the safe and loving company of my joyful dogs. But not dating. That my friends has got to change.

I had an ephiphany lately: I have been hiding behind my weight. Hiding because of the fear of rejection and even more strong, the fear of NOT being rejected. Getting close to someone is scary! I slowly started to think about this after the Mayercraft cruise. There we were on deck, Saturday Night and about 15 guys in bathrobes come up and want to party with us! All kinds of guys! Your first reaction may have been "sweet merciful God, Hallelujah". Mine was to run like Hell into the girls room out of fear! Talk about an Ah Ha moment! It was then I realized that my lack of male companionship has nothing to do with my weight. The weight isn't the issue, the issue is me!

Here's the thing: If I just don't get over this I will be looking back at my life and realize I have never had the joy of living with someone who can't seem to put the seat down or his socks in the hamper. I will have lived without the experience of having a partner, someone who can appreciate me for who I am and share this experience we call life. And lets face it, a little pleasure every once in awhile from someone that isn't battery operated wouldn't be such a bad thing either!

So I have signed up on the dating website and it has been a learning experience! I put my pic up there and I get hits. Guys are interested! So what people have been telling me is true: there are guys out there that like the bigger women! Hurray! My friend has had success on the same site and she is willing to help me so I am going to take advantage of that! Revise my profile...start chatting...I swear ....this weekend! Guys aren't going to walk in my living room and ask what time Greys Anatomy is on, no they aren't! I am going to have to make an effort to get out there and just do this! Date...meet men..find someone! I am going to turn into a dating machine! If anything I will change the names to protect the guilty and turn it into great material for the blog.

Stay tuned...this is going to get interesting!

:)

Another Friday Night

Ok...I am just going to say it: I am desperate and dateless. I am spending another weekend without male company. I am working, hanging out with dear and wonderful girlfriends, relaxing in the safe and loving company of my joyful dogs. But not dating. That my friends has got to change.

I had an ephiphany lately: I have been hiding behind my weight. Hiding because of the fear of rejection and even more strong, the fear of NOT being rejected. Getting close to someone is scary! I slowly started to think about this after the Mayercraft cruise. There we were on deck, Saturday Night and about 15 guys in bathrobes come up and want to party with us! All kinds of guys! Your first reaction may have been "sweet merciful God, Hallelujah". Mine was to run like Hell into the girls room out of fear! Talk about an Ah Ha moment! It was then I realized that my lack of male companionship has nothing to do with my weight. The weight isn't the issue, the issue is me!

Here's the thing: If I just don't get over this I will be looking back at my life and realize I have never had the joy of living with someone who can't seem to put the seat down or his socks in the hamper. I will have lived without the experience of having a partner, someone who can appreciate me for who I am and share this experience we call life. And lets face it, a little pleasure every once in awhile from someone that isn't battery operated wouldn't be such a bad thing either!

So I have signed up on the dating website and it has been a learning experience! I put my pic up there and I get hits. Guys are interested! So what people have been telling me is true: there are guys out there that like the bigger women! Hurray! My friend has had success on the same site and she is willing to help me so I am going to take advantage of that! Revise my profile...start chatting...I swear ....this weekend! Guys aren't going to walk in my living room and ask what time Greys Anatomy is on, no they aren't! I am going to have to make an effort to get out there and just do this! Date...meet men..find someone! I am going to turn into a dating machine! If anything I will change the names to protect the guilty and turn it into great material for the blog.

Stay tuned...this is going to get interesting!

:)

Happy New Magazine Day

I love Thursday! Not because Grey's Anatomy is on and not because it is one day away from the weekend. No, I love Thursday because it is new magazine day! All the new magazines hit my favorite newstand and to me it's like Christmas!

I love magazines because I am a communication and information junkie! The need to know and know ASAP is in my DNA. I am a female, I am a Gemini. Knowing and then telling everyone the details, it's who I am.

I love the quick information that weekly magazines give. I don't have to read through the slow parts of a 300 page novel to find out if Brad gets the girl in the end. It will be in a blurb in US Weekly and at my newsstand on Thursday.
Magazines help me keep in touch with my current celebrity crush! I can learn all about my crush on my own, in my jammies! Just me, my crush and US Weekly, OK and People! I find out his likes, dislikes, how he is "just like us" and who he is...isn't...is dating. All the info I need and don't need right there on Thursday!

I love the visual medium that is magazines! I love the colors, the fonts, the graphics! Each of my favorite monthly magazines has a distinct layout that is colorful and gourgeous! I didn't find out that I was a visual person until I started salivating when I picked up the new issue of "Rachael Ray Everyday".

I love new magazine day. Magazines are definately one of my more expensive addictions to be sure. But looking forward to Thursday gets me through the week and I am ok with that for now.

Happy New Magazine Day

I love Thursday! Not because Grey's Anatomy is on and not because it is one day away from the weekend. No, I love Thursday because it is new magazine day! All the new magazines hit my favorite newstand and to me it's like Christmas!

I love magazines because I am a communication and information junkie! The need to know and know ASAP is in my DNA. I am a female, I am a Gemini. Knowing and then telling everyone the details, it's who I am.

I love the quick information that weekly magazines give. I don't have to read through the slow parts of a 300 page novel to find out if Brad gets the girl in the end. It will be in a blurb in US Weekly and at my newsstand on Thursday.
Magazines help me keep in touch with my current celebrity crush! I can learn all about my crush on my own, in my jammies! Just me, my crush and US Weekly, OK and People! I find out his likes, dislikes, how he is "just like us" and who he is...isn't...is dating. All the info I need and don't need right there on Thursday!

I love the visual medium that is magazines! I love the colors, the fonts, the graphics! Each of my favorite monthly magazines has a distinct layout that is colorful and gourgeous! I didn't find out that I was a visual person until I started salivating when I picked up the new issue of "Rachael Ray Everyday".

I love new magazine day. Magazines are definately one of my more expensive addictions to be sure. But looking forward to Thursday gets me through the week and I am ok with that for now.

Dear Miss California

Dear Miss Ca,

Bravo on your Oscar worthy performance yesterday at the "press conference"( or as those of us who know better call it, the "staged media event"). Tears...invoking the military...standing behind the Constitution...I am surprised you left the red, white and blue bikini at home! Didn't master manipulator Donald Trump tell you to bring it?

I hope yesterdays boohaha brings you exactly the career you are looking for: acting, modeling, reality TV star. I do. Go out and follow your bliss because representing California really isn't your thing, is it?

Are you really thinking of California? Nah! I think your own agenda took over right at the time you aligned yourself with a marriage protection group that had a bigger PR department than you. I think you parted ways with the state when you made the talk show rounds to further YOUR agenda, not ours!

You represent California, the state that has the highest divorce rate in the nation! How about finding a way to bring that number down as a way to protect marriage instead of aligning yourself with a group that use "marriage protection" to disguise bigotry? Nahh....finding ways to truly keep the family alive won't land you on Larry King or get you that book deal, will it?

By the way, did I hear you whining about rights yesterday? Did I misunderstand or were you "crying" about your right to free speech being violated? Hmmm..rights being violated...isn't this the topic that brought you to this career opportunity...I mean...mess...in the first place? Apparently The Donald isn't teaching you about karma or irony, is he?

Quite honestly, I wish you would just go away and leave Californians to worry about things like wildfires destroying pristine beach areas, the budget crisis, lay offs in the largest school district in the nation and double digit unemployment. Since the odds of you disappearing are slim to none, do your fellow Californians a favour: take the reality show deal. It will give us something to take our minds off worrying about things that really matter!

Love and peace,
Cynthia

Sent via BlackBerry from T-Mobile

Dear Miss California

Dear Miss Ca,

Bravo on your Oscar worthy performance yesterday at the "press conference"( or as those of us who know better call it, the "staged media event"). Tears...invoking the military...standing behind the Constitution...I am surprised you left the red, white and blue bikini at home! Didn't master manipulator Donald Trump tell you to bring it?

I hope yesterdays boohaha brings you exactly the career you are looking for: acting, modeling, reality TV star. I do. Go out and follow your bliss because representing California really isn't your thing, is it?

Are you really thinking of California? Nah! I think your own agenda took over right at the time you aligned yourself with a marriage protection group that had a bigger PR department than you. I think you parted ways with the state when you made the talk show rounds to further YOUR agenda, not ours!

You represent California, the state that has the highest divorce rate in the nation! How about finding a way to bring that number down as a way to protect marriage instead of aligning yourself with a group that use "marriage protection" to disguise bigotry? Nahh....finding ways to truly keep the family alive won't land you on Larry King or get you that book deal, will it?

By the way, did I hear you whining about rights yesterday? Did I misunderstand or were you "crying" about your right to free speech being violated? Hmmm..rights being violated...isn't this the topic that brought you to this career opportunity...I mean...mess...in the first place? Apparently The Donald isn't teaching you about karma or irony, is he?

Quite honestly, I wish you would just go away and leave Californians to worry about things like wildfires destroying pristine beach areas, the budget crisis, lay offs in the largest school district in the nation and double digit unemployment. Since the odds of you disappearing are slim to none, do your fellow Californians a favour: take the reality show deal. It will give us something to take our minds off worrying about things that really matter!

Love and peace,
Cynthia
Sent via BlackBerry from T-Mobile

Fibromyalgia Awareness Day

Today is Fibromyalgia Awareness Day. While I am not suffering from symptoms, I am affected. One of the sweetest, smartest and most wonderful people I know, my fellow blogger and BFF Selena is a Fibromyalgia sufferer!

She deals with so many things and I think it's the lack of energy and living in constant pain that gets to her. But she is amazing! She deals with it the best she can by, among other things "Finding a balance between being open to trying new things to treat my health problems and living within a budget; setting up trial periods to evaluate if something is working and stopping if I am not getting any benefits"

She is an inspiration to be sure and she is living with a disease that isn't easily recognized by society or even the medical community. That needs to change. Read on below to pledge your support. For more about what living with "Fibro" is about, read Selena's blog at ohmyachesandpains.blogspot.com.

TAKE THE PLEDGE:


Family & Friends: Pledge to Care About Fibromyalgia



This is the pledge that family and friends of people living with fibromyalgia are encouraged to take at the National Fibromyalgia Association website.


We pledge to:

ALWAYS STAND BESIDE LOVED ONES with fibromyalgia, and support the patients’ quest for a better quality of life.

ACT AS AN ADVOCATE to insure that loved ones receive the best possible medical care.

BE RESPECTFUL OF LOVED ONES’ PHYSICAL LIMITATIONS, and help—or get help—when it is needed.

EDUCATE OTHERS about fibromyalgia and encourage them to provide people with fibromyalgia with support and understanding.

ADVOCATE for improved treatments, expanded research and an increased awareness and acceptance of fibromyalgia.

UNCONDITIONALLY LOVE the people in my life who have fibromyalgia.

>>> Are you ready to take the pledge?

Go to: www.fmaware.org to take the PLEDGE TO CARE and to find out more info about this disease. When you take the Pledge to Care about people living with Fibromyalgia. Your first initial, last name and state will appear at the NFA "WE CARE" web page, along with the first inital and last name of any person you wish to honor.

Fibromyalgia Awareness Day

Today is Fibromyalgia Awareness Day. While I am not suffering from symptoms, I am affected. One of the sweetest, smartest and most wonderful people I know, my fellow blogger and BFF Selena is a Fibromyalgia sufferer!

She deals with so many things and I think it's the lack of energy and living in constant pain that gets to her. But she is amazing! She deals with it the best she can by, among other things "Finding a balance between being open to trying new things to treat my health problems and living within a budget; setting up trial periods to evaluate if something is working and stopping if I am not getting any benefits"

She is an inspiration to be sure and she is living with a disease that isn't easily recognized by society or even the medical community. That needs to change. Read on below to pledge your support. For more about what living with "Fibro" is about, read Selena's blog at ohmyachesandpains.blogspot.com.

TAKE THE PLEDGE:


Family & Friends: Pledge to Care About Fibromyalgia



This is the pledge that family and friends of people living with fibromyalgia are encouraged to take at the National Fibromyalgia Association website.


We pledge to:

ALWAYS STAND BESIDE LOVED ONES with fibromyalgia, and support the patients’ quest for a better quality of life.

ACT AS AN ADVOCATE to insure that loved ones receive the best possible medical care.

BE RESPECTFUL OF LOVED ONES’ PHYSICAL LIMITATIONS, and help—or get help—when it is needed.

EDUCATE OTHERS about fibromyalgia and encourage them to provide people with fibromyalgia with support and understanding.

ADVOCATE for improved treatments, expanded research and an increased awareness and acceptance of fibromyalgia.

UNCONDITIONALLY LOVE the people in my life who have fibromyalgia.

>>> Are you ready to take the pledge?

Go to: www.fmaware.org to take the PLEDGE TO CARE and to find out more info about this disease. When you take the Pledge to Care about people living with Fibromyalgia. Your first initial, last name and state will appear at the NFA "WE CARE" web page, along with the first inital and last name of any person you wish to honor.

Time Vs. Priorities

There is a phrase I use rather indiscriminately. I use it when its true but more often when it's not. I use it more for a cop out than to use it to tell someone legitimate information about my day. I suspect I am not alone. The phrase? "I don't have time".

There are those that truly don't have time. There are women who work full time at a job and go home to their 2nd job as wife and/or mother. There are those that are working more than one job to make ends meet and even some that work multiple jobs and then go to school to further their education.

I am none of those. I am single with no kids and two jobs but one is weekends only and the hours are sporatic. Essentially, my time and money is all my own. What I realized in my ephiany is that my problem isn't with time itself but with priorities. When I say "I don't have time" what I really should be saying is "I don't want to make time". I have time to excersise but rather be online. I have time to volunteer but rather be at the beach. For me it isn't about finding the time, but choosing how to fill the abundance of time I have.

Some of you reading this today are probably thinking "ah ha! That's why I don't hear from her" or "Sheesh...that's why she flaked on me last weekend". Absolutely! It's because I may have not made the best choice in how to fill time. This is why I am using this public forum to declare my attempt to make better choices starting with time verses priority. There are volunteer opportunities and chances to reconnect with those I love that I am missing out on. I just hope TiVo will remember me when I come back to reconnect with him (Yes....my TiVo is a him....so was Samantha's on "Sex And The City"....my name is Cyndie and I am a TV Addict..but that's another blog for later).

I may be blessed with time but we are all blessed with having free will and the ability to choose. How will you choose to spend your time today? I am going to the gym....right after I finish last weeks "24"! What can I say, change is a work in progress!

:)

Time Vs. Priorities

There is a phrase I use rather indiscriminately. I use it when its true but more often when it's not. I use it more for a cop out than to use it to tell someone legitimate information about my day. I suspect I am not alone. The phrase? "I don't have time".

There are those that truly don't have time. There are women who work full time at a job and go home to their 2nd job as wife and/or mother. There are those that are working more than one job to make ends meet and even some that work multiple jobs and then go to school to further their education.

I am none of those. I am single with no kids and two jobs but one is weekends only and the hours are sporatic. Essentially, my time and money is all my own. What I realized in my ephiany is that my problem isn't with time itself but with priorities. When I say "I don't have time" what I really should be saying is "I don't want to make time". I have time to excersise but rather be online. I have time to volunteer but rather be at the beach. For me it isn't about finding the time, but choosing how to fill the abundance of time I have.

Some of you reading this today are probably thinking "ah ha! That's why I don't hear from her" or "Sheesh...that's why she flaked on me last weekend". Absolutely! It's because I may have not made the best choice in how to fill time. This is why I am using this public forum to declare my attempt to make better choices starting with time verses priority. There are volunteer opportunities and chances to reconnect with those I love that I am missing out on. I just hope TiVo will remember me when I come back to reconnect with him (Yes....my TiVo is a him....so was Samantha's on "Sex And The City"....my name is Cyndie and I am a TV Addict..but that's another blog for later).

I may be blessed with time but we are all blessed with having free will and the ability to choose. How will you choose to spend your time today? I am going to the gym....right after I finish last weeks "24"! What can I say, change is a work in progress!

:)

A Mother's Day Gift

This year I gave a gift that is as much of a gift to my mother as it is to myself. It didn't cost a dime and didn't have to be shipped. It is practical and will last forever. It is the perfect gift.

I thought about this gift a short while ago while thinking about accountablity. More often than not, adults have things in the past that they blame for the crap going on in the present. Some pain is physical, some mental. I am not denying that pain of any variety inflicted during childhood is a bitch to get over and I am sure is the cause of a lot of the addictions people deal with. There are two ways to deal with pain, healthy and not and most often, the not healthy way is what we turn to.

With that all said, I believe that there comes a time in adulthood when you just have to stop blaiming your past for what is happening in your future. Deal with the crap and move on. You have to! I'm not recommending not visiting the past, just to make it a short trip. Find out the reasons that you are doing what you are doing and use that information to move past it!

This isn't easy, believe me! I have used food for the better part of my life to shove down feelings about things in my past. But at 44 years old it is time to learn from those things and use that knowledge to live a better life in the next 44 years. So I am using today as a jumping off point to leave the past in the past and its starts with Mom. Here goes:

Mom,

My gift to you: forgiveness. I know you did the best you could after dad left and I love you for it! Are there things I would change if I could go back and do it over? Of course. But the past is the past. I am happy that you are now asking me to come over and that we can have a converstion without killing each other. I am grateful for the gifts you gave me growing up such as your independence, intelligence and sense of humor. I appreciate the sacrifices you made raising 3 small kids on your own and I know it wasn't easy for either one of us. But love manifests itself in many ways and while ours isn't the Hallmark gooey kind, sacrifice is definately love and you gave us that for sure. Mom, time has given me the wisdom to see that that raising me wasn't easy but hopefully you look at me and are proud of the adult I have become. You are the reason, for better and for worse that I am who I am and I am grateful! I love you.

Happy Mother's Day!
Cynthia

A Mother's Day Gift

This year I gave a gift that is as much of a gift to my mother as it is to myself. It didn't cost a dime and didn't have to be shipped. It is practical and will last forever. It is the perfect gift.

I thought about this gift a short while ago while thinking about accountablity. More often than not, adults have things in the past that they blame for the crap going on in the present. Some pain is physical, some mental. I am not denying that pain of any variety inflicted during childhood is a bitch to get over and I am sure is the cause of a lot of the addictions people deal with. There are two ways to deal with pain, healthy and not and most often, the not healthy way is what we turn to.

With that all said, I believe that there comes a time in adulthood when you just have to stop blaiming your past for what is happening in your future. Deal with the crap and move on. You have to! I'm not recommending not visiting the past, just to make it a short trip. Find out the reasons that you are doing what you are doing and use that information to move past it!

This isn't easy, believe me! I have used food for the better part of my life to shove down feelings about things in my past. But at 44 years old it is time to learn from those things and use that knowledge to live a better life in the next 44 years. So I am using today as a jumping off point to leave the past in the past and its starts with Mom. Here goes:

Mom,

My gift to you: forgiveness. I know you did the best you could after dad left and I love you for it! Are there things I would change if I could go back and do it over? Of course. But the past is the past. I am happy that you are now asking me to come over and that we can have a converstion without killing each other. I am grateful for the gifts you gave me growing up such as your independence, intelligence and sense of humor. I appreciate the sacrifices you made raising 3 small kids on your own and I know it wasn't easy for either one of us. But love manifests itself in many ways and while ours isn't the Hallmark gooey kind, sacrifice is definately love and you gave us that for sure. Mom, time has given me the wisdom to see that that raising me wasn't easy but hopefully you look at me and are proud of the adult I have become. You are the reason, for better and for worse that I am who I am and I am grateful! I love you.

Happy Mother's Day!
Cynthia

Flip Flop Weekend

I love flip flops! Maybe its in my born in So Cal genes. Flip Flops symbolize the casual, carefree atmosphere we are known for here in L.A. To me, they also symbolize the more restrictive part of my life: the workplace. I think this is because I can't wear flips at work, no matter who designed them or how much they cost. $65 rhinestone adorned Havaiana's? Nope! Definately not the $5 Old Navy ones. So much in life is buttoned up, why shouldn't we let our feet hang loose?


I thought about this as stood looking at the schedule of my part-time job. There it was: Sunday 7 AM-Noon. Damn! Not happy! A weekend with a commitment...again! Not a flip-flop weekend! The devil on one shoulder says I can call in, the angel on the other reminds me of those human and animal beings depending on me to be there!


It was with all this in mind that I welcomed an unexpected turn of events. As I stood there wondering which shoulder would win the war of my conscience, my co-worker walks in. She asks if want to give up my shift this weekend so she would be able to make he car payment. I didn't hesitate before I said "absolutely"!Break out those Havaianas and lets go...anywhere but work!


Let me take a moment to clarify that I am grateful to have not only a full-time job but also a part time one. Very grateful, in fact, to have more than one job when so many are struggling to find work in this economic downturn. This blessing isn't lost on me! But I welcome a weekend with no commitments of any kind, be it friends, volunteering or work. I am craving a fly by the seat of your pants weekend where anything goes and my feet are free in flips.


This is a switch from how I used to view weekends. I would panic when faced with a weekend with nothing on the schedule. Boredom is second on my list of worst enemies, second only to loneliness. To avoid both of them I would pack my weekends with all kinds of stuff. Anything to keep me away from myself and those voices that say that only losers are alone. Anything to keep me from stuffing those feelings down with food.


How did I get from viewing alone time as something worse than the plague to viewing it as bliss? Well, somewhere along this journey we call life, I discovered that I enjoy spending time with someone who is funny, smart and in touch with the world they are living in. Much to my surprize, that person is me! Alone time lets me take a step out of the world and take stock of what is going on, what needs revision and what needs to be worked on! It is a necessary respite from life in the crazy big city!


As I awoke this morning the sun was shining, the birds singing, the smell of spring flowers in the air! I got dressed and slipped into my flip-flops, eager to get the day started, a day where the only commitment I have is to myself. A great day indeed!


Sent via BlackBerry from T-Mobile