Crazy Dog Lady?

Am I turning into one of those stereotypical single women who hide behind the love of animals instead of getting out there and risking the hurt and rejection of men? I pondered this possibility while spending my Christmas Eve shovling dog poop out of kennels! Don't get me wrong! I really love working with the animals and cleaning kennels is just part of the job! But do I love them too much? Am I hiding behind the unconditional love of my dogs?

I bought few presents this year. I am working two jobs to get out of debt and I am not going to jepordize that by buying gifts out of a feeling of obligation. I did however, fill stockings and buy gifts for my dogs! I got extreme joy of watching them tear paper off the box of dog bones I bought AND WRAPPED for them! My heart soared when they licked my face in appreciation for the stockings stuffed with toys, empty water bottles, balls of paper, bones....all their favorite things!

Its crazy, I know, to treat dogs like they are your children. But if anything good comes out of my job at PetSmart (other than the paycheck) it will be the verification that I am by far not the only person that does this. We have dogs checking in with bottles of Evian and more swag than I have seen any toddler have! I just need to make sure that I will eventually spend Christmas with beings that are human. They just need to love my boys as much I do

What's The Deal With Spin Class??

Two things I need to make clear before I start this: 1) I am not a genius...shocking as that might be and 2) I love to bike ride. I have been known to drive down to Hermosa, rent a bike and ride from Hermosa to Dockweiler to Redondo and back to Hermosa....about 17 miles round trip!
It was with that last fact in mind that I thought I would try a spin class at my new gym. The website says that spin class takes the outside bicycling experience and brings it inside! Perfect! I knew it would be missing the beauty of the beach, the salt air, cool breezes and shirtless hardbodies playing vollyball but I figured it was right up my alley! A workout that I could get behind and not dread!

My hopes were dashed when I walked into the class 5 minutes late and hopped on a bike! I planned to talk to the instructor to get a feel of what goes on in a spin class but a last minute meeting with my boss eliminated that possibility. So there I was on the bike and ready to go. Imagine my surprize when I couldn't even move the pedals! Uhhh.....is this what spin class is all about?? Everyone around me was moving....what was going on? I stood up and mustered every ounce of strength I had to move those pedals. JT was singing that he was bringing sexy back in the background and this must be how it did it! Rock hard abs come from spin class! Wahooo....abs here I come.

But after what seemed like an hour but must have been 30 seconds my knees burned so bad I thought they were going to pop out of their socket. Forget abs or bringing sexy back! This wasn't like my experience in the South Bay, this was torture. I got off the bike and went to a regular bike and spinned on my own for a half hour.

This is where the " I am not a genius" part comes in. On the way home I was talking to my friend Selena and she mentioned that I probably just had a bike wheresomeone ratcheted up the tension to about 50! I didn't know in spin class you could adjust it! DUH!

I am going to try spin class again....someday.........soon! JT needs someone to help him bring sexy back and it might as well be me!

You Say Bitch Like It's A Bad Thing

How funny is it that for the first time in the many times i've been called a bitch I'm actually excited about claiming the title. That is because it was given to me by the awesome Dave Grohl, member of one of my fave bands, The Foo Fighters!

I went to Paladino's last night to see my friends in Lights play a set that was great dispite tech problems. I heard rumblings that Dave was in the house but didn't see him. Shan and I walk outside to leave and who is standing there talking to Casey (from Lights)? Dave Grohl! I politely wait for a break and say hi to Dave and tell him how great the Foo's were opening for the Police this summer at Dodger Stadium! He was nice, said thank you. I then turn to Casey, jokingly, and said "yeah...you guys aren't that bad either". Dave busts up laughing and says "This one's a bitch....what a bitch"! The whole crowd there was laughing. I told Dave "nah....Casey knows I love `em" (which I do...Lights are AWESOME).

So that's my latest celebrity sighting. At a whole in the wall like Paladinos! Man, I love LA!!!

I've Seen The Future and It's Name Is Bruce Springsteen

The band is not trendy or young but neither is the building they are performing in. However, it's not trendiness that is going to make this night magical and the band knows it. The band also know that this run-down building close to downtown L.A. holds memories for their fans as it is the building they have played the most in L.A. Shunning the glistening and cold mega corporate arenas, the band opts to play there this tour, in a building that most definately has its best days behind it. But included in the buildings glory days are memories of the band and marathon shows, shows that symbolize all that is right with music. Most of those shows involved Bruce Springsteen and The E Street Band and its that feeling that Bruce and the band want to bring back to the LA Sports Arena. And they did.

Make no mistake, the LA Sports Arena is a dump! The floor is concrete, the seats are peeling vynal and bolted to the floor! No huge video scoreboard or LED light display showing the company sponsering the place. No corporate sponsers at all! The only ad anywhere is one for an inner city check cashing place! There are reasons Bruce demanded to play here and they are reasons that are rooted in everything Springsteen stands for! No corporate greed represented by cavernous arenas with sparkly luxury boxes that suck the sound quality right out of the building. The seats may have had springs poking you in the butt at the Sports Arena but the sound was amazing! And the building has an odd character and history! A definite history for Bruce fans! Fans still talk about his multi-night stand there during "The River" tour! This specific fan remembers her first Bruce show there during the "Tunnel of Love" tour! At first I couldn't imagine why the savior of Rock and Roll would play in such a dump, such a forgotten building. Now I get it!

I have seen Bruce and The E-Street Band many times before but not like I saw them last night! They were on fire! This was a band that still could rock and roll after 30+ years! They were in their element! There was an electric feeling in the air that is typical at most Bruce shows and the great sound only magnified the mojo! The crowd could feel they were a part of something special and so could the band. Was it a perfect show? No, of course not! A band with a catalog so huge is sure to leave out a fave or two. I would have LOVED to hear "Jungleland" or Thunder Road. But the one-two opening punch of "Radio Nowhere" into "No Surrender" was exhilarating! Almost as exciting was "Born To Run" into "Dancing In The Dark"! The new stuff shone and surpizes such as "Thundercrack" rocked!

I am at an age now where I wax nostalgic about "the good ole days" in music. I truly long for the days when music was about the talent of the musicans and not exclusively the talent of the producer. The days when touring and giging made an artist, not some crappy reality TV show. The days when there was actually music on Music Television. Those days are long over, for the most part. Bruce and The E-Street Band releasing a relevant album, one that harks back to the bands own glory days, that gives me hope! And hearing that band, in that building, on that night like so many others before it....well....it was "Magic"!

Back On The Weight Loss Bandwagon!

This is my year to get the rest of this weight off! I could stand proud at losing 100 pounds but I'm not! I am not going to be happy until I get down to a healthy 140! The road to this goal starts NOW! Actually it started Sunday! I was THRILLED to find out in the year and a 1/2 since my surgery, the very same year I have been messing around and slacking off BIG TIME, I have only gained SEVEN pounds! SEVEN!!!

This last year saw this emotional overeater go through some trying times. I started 3 new jobs, I found out my father died 3 weeks after it happened because my stepmonster is a witch, I found out 2 immediate family members are in trouble with the law, my sister had a cancer scare and that was on top of little life trials like car trouble, the "bad guys" coming after the late credit card payments and just life being as it is! I had every reason to put back on 100 pounds but only gained SEVEN!!! WAHHHOOOOO!

This isn't to say I am perfect. I'm not and won't ever be! I have an eating disorder and will have it for the rest of my life. But I am making huge progress in learning how to manage it. If I do go to McDonalds I get one cheeseburger and a small fry not Super Size Value Big Mac Meal with a shake (sidebar........must rent "Super Size Me" if you haven't seen it...I need to see it again). My binge of choice is whole wheat mini-crackers from Trader Joes with fat free cheese and little cherry tomatoes, not an entire bag of Oreos. I have learned that two apple martinis on an empty stomach will make me so sick, I wish I could die and two beers make me wake up with the headache I used to get after drinking Kamikazi's all night! Alcohol is not my friend anymore! I can be just as crazy without its help as a lot of people are with it plus I can remember all the crap everyone else did under it's influence and blackmail them the next day!

This is my year to continue making progress. This last year and 1/2 was just a little side trip on the journey to good health and a rockin body! It was a trip I needed to take to learn the lessons I have learned. I learned that stress and no sleep trigger my trips through the drive-through. I have learned exercise, as much as I rather be on the couch watching The Food Network, is a wonderful replacement for binge eating. Most of all I have learned I have what it takes to get this done and I deserve it!

The Bow Wow Hilton

I AM NOT CRAZY!!! Where and when did I discover this? The minute I got hired at the PetSmart PetsHotel! That's right! A hotel for dogs and cats! You may call it a kennel, I call it the Bow Wow Hilton!

Whe you walk into the PetsHotel, you walk into a true hotel lobby complete with fireplace, comfy chair, magazines on the table. At the PetsHotel, you are greeted just like any other hotel guest....after, of course, we talk to your "baby", Fido! We give the "guests" treats, playtimes anything to make their stay at our hotel comfy! It is amazing!

I love working here! It is here that I realized I am far and away not the only human who treats their dogs like one of the family! Heck, some of these dogs check into the facility for a weekend with more crap than I take to New York for a week!

It's great to work with dogs! Playing with them in "doggie day camp" is just like being the noontime aid on the playground. I will never forget Joey, the chihuahua who "policed" the daycamp! He would sit on my lap, always on the lookout for any shinanagans, and the minute a disagreement or scuffle would break out, he would jump down, break it up with a bark that clearly laid down the law and then came right back to his post on my lap. Then there is little Chloe, an adorable Bichon. She's the playground cutie pie, always popular with the fellas, cute and she knows it! Our wonderful "rat pack" of puggles and beagles, Sox, Jaxson, Buttons and Bubba Joe are the little rascals in dog form: mischevious and playful! It is so fun to watch this group and all the others in action! I swear, doggie day camp is no different than the ones with humans! CRAZY!!

I love this job! It is a gift to have a part-time job working with dogs!

Procrastinator's Lament

FIRST DAY PART ONE-JULY 30

I am the world's worst procrastinator! I know it! I am sitting here on my bed with the XM 70's Soul station on, blogging while my world goes to heck in a hand basket! It's the morning after I woke up at 3AM realizing that my life is dwindling away and I haven't accomplished anything! Oh, sure...I am having a great time but I don't have the career I want, don't have a relationship...don't have much outside of the love of some awesome friends! I can't procrastinate while wallowing in denial anymore!

Today I am going to do 3 things: I am going to go to the gym before work and ride the bike for 20 mins (while reading "The Secret"), develop a budget and review my resume. Tomorrow I am going to take that resume and send it online to every entertainment job I can find that I am even remotely qualified for. I am going to sign up for the job search functions on every studio website in town and soon, I am going to have my job in entertainment while I am out of debt and on my way to my goal weight! Better yet, I AM going to have that job at either Warner Bros Records or Universal Music Group! Why not go for the dream job?! After that I am going to start on my novel, the one I have been procrastinating writing my whole life and actively post on that online dating site!

I can't be a overweight customer service rep who's financially inept the rest of my life. I know I am cut out for more. I just have to quit being afraid of success and let it happen...help make it happen. That starts today.

FIRST DAY PART TWO-AUGUST 7

Yahoo! I finally finished my resume and I'm going to send it off to Warner Bros. in answer to the perfect job posting! All I know is that I can hardly stand my job! What makes people think that because I work for the company they aren't happy with they can treat me like crap? I am sure these are perfectly respectable humans who aren't happy that their 16 year old caused their auto insurance to skyrocket! Fact of the matter is I don't give a shit and I am doing something about it! So I am sending the resume off and hopefully when I get back from camping/Newport Jazz Fest I will be on my way to a new job! One that doesn't require me being abused by my fellow man...or woman!

SUCCESS WITH "THE SECRET"-AUGUST 28

There has been a book out for a few months called "The Secret". It took the wisdom of Norman Vincent Peal and the marketing power of Oprah and became a phenomenon. What it is in a nutshell is the power of positive thinking. What you think comes back to you.

I'll admit I have had the book for months and haven't given it more than a passing flip through. It just seemed to require more effort than I was willing to put into figuring it all out. But something must have sinked into my subconsciousness while flipping pages in that book. I started telling myself on the way to work that the day was going to go by quick, the customers were going to be nice, it wasn't going to be busy and you know what? All those things happened!
So I tried this concept on a slightly bigger scale. I told myself and the universe that I would have a job like the one I had at HealthNet and I would have it by Labor Day. I posted my resume on Monster and answered ads entertainment and non-entertainment alike. Within a week and a half I had my first interview and when walking out of that office, I said "this job is mine". Five hours later, I had a offer.

I am now the Liscense Administrator for DTS, Digital Entertainment. It is a job very simular to the one I had at HealthNet. Pay is slightly higher and the benefits are wonderful. Even more wonderful is I start next Tuesday, the day after Labor Day, something I also threw out to the universe. With the last day of my work week at 21st being on Wednesday, I knew I could get a 5 day holiday weekend if I asked to start 9/4! SCORE!

"The Secret". I have the book in my bag and I am actually going to read it! This thing really works! Next stop, MegaMillions!

A Dogs Life

Michael Vick, pro football player is indicted for funding a dogfighting ring. DMX, platinum selling rapper has his compound out in the Arizona desert raided and abused dogs were found along with the charred remains of dogs that were killed. I am sure these high-profile animal abuse stories aren't the only ones, just the only ones involving millionare assholes who have no regard for another life or most likely, even the law.

Just when I thought I wouldn't be able to watch the news again, along comes a story of the most unlikely dog lover! I don't know about you but I would not take someone nicknamed "the queen of mean" to be a dog lover. But there it was, right on Yahoo news: Leona Helmsley leaves dog 12 million dollars! Finally, a news story about a dog that made me smile! 12 Gs left to a dog named Trouble! Imagine the trouble he could get into with 12 million bucks! He could pee on the carpet every day and have it replaced! He could shred the couch and replace it with a custom couch made out of Milk Bones! Speaking of Milk Bones, does a dog with 12 mil eat canned food or steak tartar every night?

Personally, I would love to see Trouble turn his life around and use his new found fortune for good. He could become an advocate for misunderstood pit bulls and Rottweilers everywhere! He could fund ads to let people know the joy and benefit of the uncondtional love of a dog. Trouble could use his money to assure no-kill animal shelters everywhere never run out of money or that they soon cease to exist because dogs and cats will have homes. Maybe he could educate animal owners to the responsibility of spaying and neutering. The possibilities are endless.

I am hopeful but realistic. I do expect the money to go to Trouble's head and he will shortly be seen in US Weekly stepping out with Paris's chihauaua or Tori Spelling's pug! It's a dogs life, after all

Roughing It LA Style!

I am of the belief that there are two kinds of camping: "real" and "wussy". Wussy campers load up all the comforts of home and head out in an RV. They sleep inside, watch TV, cook on a real stove. "Real" campers sleep in tents, have no idea what's going on in the world as they have no TV or radio and cook either on a little tiny propane stove or open flame. I am a real camper! I have no problem getting dirty, leaving the world behind, cooking on a fire and needing quarters to heat up the water in the communal shower that's down the trail!

My friends and I spent days on a beach in Ventura County. It was wonderful days of relaxing, cool breezes, enjoying each others company, fresh air and just being away from the daily grind. We hung out at the beach during the day and played Rumikub and roasted marshmallows at night. Yes my friends I was feeling like a true camper out in the wild, roughing it!

That is until I woke up my first morning and had an "lightbulb" moment! I realized that I had a car and that the Starbucks at Trancas (Malibu) wasn't that far, maybe 15 minutes up PCH! So this big, bad rough camper girl went for it! There I was, at the Starbuck in one of the most pretentious cities, checking email on the Blackberry, using a "real" bathroom and drinking her latte like it was the last drop of coffee on earth. I was back to civilization! It felt good! But so did getting back to the campsite and leaving reality behind again!

I think i'll add another category of camper: the hybrid camper. One who likes to rough it as long as she can have the occasional latte and access to the Blackberry!

Random Good Morning Thoughts

Rolled out of bed, down to the coffee pot which was auto-set to brew at 7:30, turned on GMA, and Lordy be, it's John Mayer and Eric Clapton! GOOD MORNING to me!
Thoughts while watching:

--God, that's an amazing amount of people up early in NYC on what is probably a muggy AM! Part of me wishes I was there, a HUGE part of me is grateful for TV and YouTube!

--Eric is a huge inspiration to John! What is that like, playing with your idol and you are only 29??? Geez! Eric is looking over at John like a proud dad! How cool must it be for him to know he's inspired guitarists everywhere!

-- Is watching/listening to John play witnessing the birth of the new Clapton?

--Funny how I never considered myself a blues girl but both my fave guitarists (Mayer and Sambora) are HUGE Clapton fans! Hummmm......

--KILLER guitar solo from John during "Crossroads"......WOW!

--If this music thing doesn't pan out for Mr. Mayer, Ambercrombie could use a new model!

--John rocks the bedhead! It's hot!

--Thank God he used the brain he has and dumped JS!

--Man I have to get this weight off before the "Stalker Cruise".

--At least I gave temporary thought to the music....

Off to the OC fair! Happy Friday, everyone! Hope yours got off to as good of start as mine did!
:)

Lessons In Dating Learned At The Dog Park

I was at the dog park the other day with my two favorite dogs I don't own, Molly and Bentley. M and B are two of the most awesome, gorgeous Golden Retrievers you will ever meet. While watching them relate and play at the park with their fellow dogs (and humans) something dawned on me: Dating should be as simple for humans as it is for dogs.

Maybe there is something to this butt sniffing thing. With dogs, they sniff once or twice and if there is no interest, they move on! They inherently grasp the concept of "they just aren't that into you" and it only takes a minute! With humans it takes days, months, years! Why do we hold vigil with Blackberry in hand, thinking he'll call.....email...text! Dogs don't! Yet, they never seem to manage to find ways to breed, if they are able.

I think that's the secret to dating. One sniff...or date...and that's it! One and done! Wish it was that simple, or isn't it? We will see because I am going to quit threatening to do it and jump right into online dating! I have a couple of free accounts and some of them are actually generating interest so keep an eye on this space and i'll let you know how it goes! Maybe my dark haired, hysterically funny, brilliant, civic minded, borderline geeky but wickedly talented guitar player is out there on Yahoo personals. Stranger things have happened! Just check YouTube for verification of that!

:)

Musical Friendship

I have these friends. They aren't friends in the "lets hang out and have coffee" sense but they are my friends through the music they make, the music that has been the soundtrack for my life for the last 21 years.

When Bon Jovi broke onto the music scene in 1986, I was out of my mom's house, getting my first apartment and trying to make my way in the "real world". Their first album "Slippery When Wet" became a hiding place from all that was scary about that real world. I would put that album on and hide behind the good time, nothing is wrong with the world feeling in their music. Their music has been my solace ever since! In the 21 years we have been friends we have gone through successes and failures together (their successes are a little more immense than mine but it is what it is). They have gone through girlfriends and marriages, I have gone through roommates and friends. They have toured the world, I have toured Southern California trying to find the perfect place to live (Chatsworth is the winner). Through it all I could always depend on them to be there and took pride in the feeling that I would always be there for them. Or would I?

A funny thing happened on that "Lost Highway". Something that I never thought would happen. While waiting to see how Richie Sambora's tabloid romance would shake out and how far into Country the band was going to go, I found a new soundtrack. One that is bluesier, funkier, newer! It is a sound I haven't heard before. It's a sound played from the heart, not the wallet and it has me completely addicted! To top it off, it comes complete with tabloid romance all it's own so my US Weekly subscription wouldn't go to waste! A new musician discovery! Cute, young! A funny, smart, environmentally conscience blogger! ANOTHER FREAKIN GUITAR PLAYER!! Yikes! I swear...crack couldn't be more deadly to me than a cute, funny guitar player!!

While I was diving in, finding all there is to know about my new musician I let my friends sit on the sidelines. While catching up on 8 CD's/EPs and various live shows, the release date for the new Bon Jovi came and went with barely a notice from me! I switched up my MySpace page to say "hey, look at this new thing I found"! My mornings were spent Googling to see if this was the hour John and Jessica TRULY broke up for good. Who has time to watch all those Bon Jovi appearences that are stacking up on the TiVo? Not me! I am in the discovery phase, that time in a new crush where it's all new, interesting, unknown. The fun part!

Maybe this has less to do with the new musician discovery and more to do with the fact that I was afraid this was it for me and my friends Bon Jovi! Maybe I was in denial about them "going country". What if they did and I would have to disown them! What if this ment that the band "sold out" for the cash and stopped being true to themselves? I felt guilty! I am deserting my friends! They have always been there for me, why am I bailing on them? I have more than one real friend, I can have more than one musical friend! So I finally bought "Lost Highway" (three weeks after release date...**sigh**....never waited that long before). I put it in at the beach and listened. To my extreme relief, it isn't country at all! It is the same Bon Jovi I have loved for 21 years! Catchy rock with hooks that reel you in and not let go! YIPPEE!

In full honesty I must admit that I only listened to it once all the way through and then put "Continuum" back in where it's been since June 10th! Here's the thing: Bon Jovi music is like my favorite warm blanket. I may not use it all the time but I do like knowing you can pull it out whenever you need it. I like knowing I can depend on the comfort that their music has always provided and will continue to do so.

I no longer worry about deserting my musical friends. I have always felt that the mark of a true friend is if you can pick up where you left off after not speaking for a while and the friendship sustains you as much as it always did! When you can do that, you know you have a true friend. Bon Jovi are and always will be my true musical friends.

Going Green

From the time I got my drivers liscense to now, my favorite stress release has been a drive to the beach. I would drive with all the windows down, stereo blaring, talking to myself and God. Sometimes I wouldn't even get out of the car. Just being at the beach restores my soul and helps me get back to that place in my head where I am glad to be alive.

I went on a drive like that today. I wasn't stressed out for me, I was stressed out for the beach, the mountains, the earth in general! They may not be here much longer! I believe that global warming is a reality and WE ALL need to chip in and start doing something...ANYTHING...to stop this problem from getting worse!

I watched more hours of Live Earth last weekend that I thought possible but I am glad I did! It made me more aware of the enviornmental crisis than I was before! The situation was always in the back of my mind. I have had "Inconvienent Truth" saved on TiVo for months but God forbid I give up watching "E News" or "Access Hollywood" to educate myself! I think that I haven't done anything up to now because I have an "all or nothing" mentality. I do. If I can't do it all, why bother! I think many of us have that view of this crisis. We think that it's too overwhelming or that we are too deep into it for anything we do to make a difference. That isn't true!

The great thing about helping to stall the enviornmental crisis is that you don't have to do it all. You don't have to go out in your $30,000 Prius with your canvas bag to buy your $20 lightbulb and then come home and unplug your phone charger, while powering down your laptop and getting rid of all your bottled water! Well...........doing all that would be awesome but pick one or two and stick with it for awhile! I bet it will spur you on to do more! I bought the canvas bag at my Trader Joe's and I keep it in my car to use! I bought one for my roommate, too! I take my own mug to Starbucks. I am not ready to give up bottled water (I live in L.A., after all) but I reuse the one bottle for a week by filling it up from the Arrowhead dispenser at work (they don't care....already asked). Next payday, going to buy a couple of the lightbulbs. I figure if I use them in the lights we use themost, like the bedroom and the porchlights we leave on at night, it would save not only energy but money on the electric bill as well!

I have always felt incredibly blessed to live in Southern California and the main reason for that was the beauty of the outdoors! We have some of the most amazing mountains, beaches and deserts all within a couple hours drive of my house! To think that may all be gone in my lifetime, not my grandkids lifetime but mine, is incredibly sad! Isn't preserving that beauty worth a $8 lightbulb? I think I can sacrifice a couple of latte's and buy some lightbulbs to keep my stress releasing beach spot!

Pirate Karioke

They say if you face a fear you can make it disappear! It's true and in Catalina I proved it by doing something I am deathly afraid of: singing by myself in public! I know I can sing but have only sang in groups...large ones! I have auditioned solo and a cappella but needed a week to recover from the massive amounts of Xanax needed to do so! It's silly! The interesting irony about the fear is that I have this burning desire to do it all the while breaking out in a cold sweat just thinking about it! So I asked the pro singers I know how to get over myself! The resounding advice was Karioke. Just sing in front of people by yourself until it's not a big deal! What a better place to do this than on a island where you can leave the scene of the crime and all it's witnesses behind!

That is exactly what I did! I hung out in a bar with the frat boys dressed as pirates and looked fear straight in the eye! It wasn't going to stop me! Besides, if I sucked, I wasn't in a place where I knew anyone! Perfect! So, I fought the fear, stayed sober and in the two hours I had to wait (by myself by the way) I just visualized rocking the song! What did I sing? John Mayer's "Body Is A Wonderland"? Ha ha...no way! If I had the talent to do a Mayer tune, it wouldn't be that one! Bon Jovi's "Living On A Prayer"? Nope, frat boys took care of that one early in the night! I sang a great rendition of Bonnie Raitt's "Something To Talk About"! I know it was great because the DJ told me "Great Job" and the frat boy making goo goo eyes at me throughout the tune slipped me his phone # as I stepped down off the podium (he was way under this cougar's hardline rule of 30 being the bottom line...damn). Phone # was a bonus! The feeling I got after doing this was amazing! In that little bar I proved to myself that I can push fear to the side and do what I want to do! I can't wait to do this again! I am going to grab anyone crazy enough to do this and head out this weekend to sing in some other dive bar! Wahoo!

There is something really freeing about tapping into my inner Pat Benetar! It got me to thinking that since I have done what scares me the most, what else is there to conqure? Dating......yikes! I know for sure that the only way to make a fear disappear is to face it head on and deal with it! Dating can't be scarier than singing and shaking your money maker in a bar full of drunken frat boy pirates but I am hoping it can be more fun!
:)

CATALINA!!!

Wahooo! Tomorrow we are off to Catalina Island for the 4th! I can't wait! 4 days of nothing but bike riding, margaritas and lounging on the beach! I am going to write the intellegent and wildly funny novel that I will be publiclly appalled that is categorized as "chick lit" while I am secretly negotiating the movie rights with Nora Ephron so she can turn it to the next "Chick flick". (something about older woman falling for younger rock star..go figure!). Then I am going to read the last 3 weeks Us, Star , Entertainment Weekly and In Touch! After that, I'll take a spin around the island in a golf cart looking for that funny, intellegent, hot single musician who will love me for my wit and my mind, not my.....never mind! If he's a hot single musician who's interested in me, WHO CARES WHY!!!

There might be time for bonding w/my roommate who I have been just passing lately while we take turns in the bathroom. There might be time to take stock in how life has been treating me so far this year and where I want it to take me the next few months. There might be time to thank God for the blessings that happen in my life everyday and will continue to happen! There WILL be time to thank God and our troops for continuing to fight the good fight in the name of democracy and freedom! It's is 4th of July, after all!

Whew! I have a lot to do over the next 4 days! And it starts today with laundry, packing and going to work! Relaxation starts tomorrow! WAHOO!

Happy 4th everyone!
:)

The Hollywood Hills Are Alive!

I love....no, make that LOVE living in LA! There are so many things unique to this town I don't know where to start! One of my favorites happens every summer! It brings young and old, straight and gay, musically inclined and not together for one evening under the stars. I am talking about the "Sound of Music Sing A Long" at the Hollywood Bowl!

I pride myself on not only being a dyed in the wool rocker but a music lover in general. This is definately in the "general" category. It is too much fun to resist! The "Sound Of Music Sing A Long" is hard to describe but imagine taking Rocky Horror and placing it in the Swiss Alps. Replace Tim Curry with Julie Andrews. Take that whole thing and place it in a drive-in that holds 16,000 people and you kind of get the idea! The film is shown on a huge screen stretched across the Bowl stage and the musical numbers have subtitles so everyone sings along! There are props they give us, like edelweiss and no one is shy about using them! There is an air of "Mystery Science Theatre" as people shout out comments that are for the most part hysterical! Hissing at the baroness, sighing at cute little Gretel! My favorite though comes courtesy (this year) of my friend Terri. At the end of the movie before the captain sings "Edelweiss" a hush falls over the Bowl. It is then that she yells in her best hockey yelling voice "sing a song about flowers". I almost died laughing!

My fave moment came courtesy of the boys dressed as nuns. As I was walking back from the bathroom they came up and offered me forgiveness for the cleavage my top was showing! HEY! That dude on Oprah says always walk out of the house dressed like you are going to meet your dream man! So I did! I just didn't know he'd be a nun....or gay! Doesn't matter, i'll take the complement wherever I can get it since one of the nuns said if he left the convent and turned straight he'd do me! ROTFL!!!

This night is so fun! We are going to make it a tradition. Next year we are all going to enter the costume contest. Look out!

You Say Stalker...I Say Fan...Potato, Potahto

For the last two + years, I have been dabbling with unrequited love. It was the most enlightning, exciting, frustrating, crazy, excruciatingly painful learning experience I have ever been through! I learned more about me within that experience than I ever thought I could. And for that, I wouldn't change a thing about it. I am, however, glad it is over! While I am taking time to recover, reconnect and pull myself together, I find myself in familar territory! I have retreated to the comfort and safety of the celebrity musician crush!

Celebrity musician crushes are easy! No miserable first date! Instead of exploring each other while dolled up in ridcously high shoes at a restaraunt you wouldn't normally be caught dead in, engaging in less than intellegent conversation, you explore on your own in your jammies! Just you, your crush and Google! Google doesn't judge, care about your weight or lead you to wonder "I wonder what he thinks of me". There is comfort in it being one sided for the most part. The celeb "loves the fans" and you are free to explore that love unconditionally within the anonimity of him not knowing you from adam. That's fine because this way, you control the amount of love that goes out. You decide if the love goes out at all! If you aren't happy that the crush can't make up his mind about the Pop Tart he's with, not with, with, not with, you can roll your eyes in indignation without having to hear the lame defense of why the intellegent, talented musician is dating the "actress". It doesn't matter! You, in all your internet surfing, US magazine reading glory know for sure BOTH reasons why he's dating her! You can sit on your bed, laptop at the ready and laugh knowing that you are smart, funny and yours are REAL!! She maybe a celeb but you have those 4 things ALL OVER her! See...celeb crushes can be as catty as the real ones!

Celebrity musician crushes are pure fantasy and after being rejected face to face, the fantasy is a welcome diversion to my reality! In my fantasy, the guy is turned on by the fact that I am smart and funny, not because I worship him or have a huge rack! In my fantasy, the crush plays guitar just for me, not for every girl in the bar (or arena). In the fantasy, the crush is a communicator supreme who listens as well as he speaks. He doesn't call me to talk at me for hours on end, not letting me get a word in edgewise!

This latest celeb musician crush came at me from completely out of the blue! Totally unexpected but entirely welcome! It's new, exciting, fun! Just like the beginning of a real relationship! However, like a real relationship, this one hasn't disappointed me or broken my heart. I doubt it will.

I am not crazy single girl! I am just welcoming the reminder God has sent to remind me that life is fun, exciting, cool! I have 9 toes grounded in reality while I am dipping the one in the sublime fantasy world of the celeb musician crush. Don't worry! I am starting to look for the real thing! I haven't retreated that far deep. The cool thing is, thanks to the latest celeb musician crush, I will have an awesome soundtrack to play in the background of any romance, real or fantasy, that comes my way!

Random Thoughts While Waiting in Jail In Vegas

*I wish I got into John Mayer early enough to see him at Mandalay Bay. I wish I had the body to get his attention and the guts to kidnap him and take him to that bar where people hang half-naked from trapezes. You have your Vegas wish, I have mine. Mine doesn't involve millions of dollars unless John and I are rolling around naked in it! Thank God what happens in Vegas.....

*I am not a fan of change or am I? I am a fan of change the noun. Especially when it is pouring out of a slot machine into a metal tray, making that "ching ching ching" sound that hit you between the eyes when you walked into any casino! The change I am not a fan of is the verb. The change that results in taking away something cool like the "ching ching ching" sound and what causes it! Slot machines in Vegas now dispense paper slips that you take to a machine to cash in for paper money. No more buckets of coins so heavy you can't carry them to the cashier, no more trips to the cashier for that matter. No more grubby, yucky hands from scooping up all those quarters and putting them in the bucket. No more having two buckets full of quarters, swearing you would stop after you went through one and leaving w/only half. No more "ching ching ching". No more of one of the things that makes Vegas charming. Change sucks.

*Most of Vegas is about getting you into the casino to spend your money. Except the bathrooms. In the bathrooms, you can stand for hours waiting for the automatic toilet to flush, then wait forever for the automatic soap to dispense before waiting endlessly for the faucet to turn on. And just when you think you might get out of there before Steve Jobs develops the chip to implant in our brains to make cel phones obsolete, you wait forever for the automated paper towel to dispense. I swear, the random cactus in the parking lot was looking like a better bathroom option than this! I know it's probably more sanitary to have all the fixtures do our work for us, but this is ridiculous!

*I am not cool! Oh, I try to be! I listen to cool music, watch all the cool TV, read up on what's trendy. How cool I truly I am became glaringly apparent this weekend in Vegas when I got excited over two things: seeing Donny Osmond and the fact that the Star Wars slot machines are about the coolest thing ever invented! Sure, I could have seen sweating, grinding pretty boys from Austrailia strip while putting $$ in their g-strings. I could have attended any number of Cirque Du Solei shows. No......Terri and I almost spontaneously combust over seeing that Donny is town. In my defense, it was cool to like Donny....when I was 7! In his defense, he put on a great show! Not sure it should cost more to see him in a Vegas lounge than it does to see John Mayer at the Hollywood Bowl but it is what it is. And what it is is a good time! I will say I may have been a tad bit embarassed to "stage door stalk" him but it did make me feel young as at my advanced age, I was easily among the youngest there. It was made worthwhile when Donny wished me happy birthday and asked with a wink if it was the 29th! And they do call it Puppy Love!

*The Star Wars slot machines rocked my world. They play the music, R2 talks to you and when you get three characters in a row, an appropriate film clip plays on the bar line! When you get the bonus, the Death Star spins and it's the coolest! Laugh all you non-believers but I trusted the Force and turned my $5 into $40!

*There are no more $5 buffets in Vegas. There are, however, $5.95 lattes and 24 hour Starbucks right out the door of the elevator in the hotel. A even trade-off if you ask me!

*Johnny Reznick was playing in the car everytime we got into it this weekend. Not literally but that would have been a wish equal to the one involving Mr. Mayer. Nope...this was on the radio. Wish LA radio was like this!

For these reasons and many more, I LOVE Vegas! Can't wait to go back in August....to see Donny....*sigh*! I am learning to embrace my inner geek! :)

Could I Possibly Have A New Fave Guitarist?!?

Could I have a new fave guitarist! Move over, Sambora! It is possible that after 21 years I have a new favorite! He's funny, he's smart, he's sensitive, he's wickedly and amazingly talented! AND HE LOVES DOGS! Forget guitarist, could he possibly be the perfect guy?

Shan calls me two days before the John Mayer show at the Bowl and says "I just got a call! We are invited to the meet and greet". I must admit, I was excited as it was going to be a cool experience but not excited in a "OMG...I LOVE John Mayer" kind of way!

That certainly changed AFTER the fact! This was by far and away one of the COOLEST things that have happened to me! 5 people and their plus one got the call and they were all nice people! John was a sweetheart! Looking back I kind of feel bad because it seems like we were the only two talking but once someone asked him about his dog it was on! He seemed fine with chatting while signing so we talked about how he did in Vegas, the upcoming Police show and our dogs. He said he was happy to have the kinda of dog that "doesn't eat raw metal" (Golden Retriever) and I got a plug in for the misunderstood Rottweiler! I won't bore you with every syllable that was spoken but you can believe I remember them. He signed for everyone, took pictures and was amazingly nice!

Then he went out and put on one of the most amazing shows I have seen! Since all I have heard from him is basically the (overplayed) singles, I had no idea what an amazing guitar player he is! And that ability was on full force at the Bowl! Mayer plays with such emotion and feeling that you wonder, at 30, where he is drawing it from! The place was filled with blues loving wine sippers who love John's work with BB King as well as the soda drinking female squealers who only wanted John to tell them how their bodies are a wonderland. That might be John's biggest strength: that he can produce music that appeals to both of those factions!

From the meet and greet, to the awesome seats, to the glorious atmosphere that is a summer show at the Bowl, to the amazing music it was a WONDERFUL night! Thanks a million to my friend Shan who made it happen! You ROCK

Marking Territory

It is two weeks since St. Patricks Day and I have been struggling to figure out how I feel about what happened that night at the bar. This morning, as I was walking Codi, the sweet girl dog I am sitting for, it hit me! As Cody lifted her leg on the bush in the neighbors yard and peed, I realized just like that bush, territory had been marked on St. Pattys Day at Oh Gradys. Only it wasn't with lifting a leg, it was with lifting a finger.

"The Girlfriend" walked into the bar on St. Pattys and asked if I wanted to see her "Valentine's Day gift. Before I could say "not really" she shoved a ring in my face. To add to the humor of the situation, she then proceeded to try and convince someone that the ring didn't mean anything. What I am not sure is who she was trying to convince, herself or me.

What upset me was not the actual ring or her not so subtle intent in flashing it at me. What upset me was that I was forced to face the reality that the ring obviously meant something to the giver of the ring and that is what has me thinking about this "friendship" I have with him. Sure this isn't the first time and most likely won't be the last. But a heavy dose of reality can be a good thing if you finally get out of denial and see something for what it really is.

Sure he and I are friends and fairly good ones at that. We support each other in our dreams. But we aren't the sharing deep dark secrets type of friends. If we were, I wouldn't have found out about "the girlfriend" from people who saw them out in the parking lot doing God knows what on the night of my birthday. I certainly wouldn't have found out about a ring a month after it was given by "the girlfriend' flashing it in my face. My female intuition tells me that he gets the emotional support from me and the physical support from her. Maybe, maybe not! But is that all I want from this "friendship"?

This ring has made me face up to the fact that ok...fine...yes, I haven't really gotten over him and ....sigh...I was holding on to that romantic notion that someday it will hit him that we are meant for each other. We aren't...and he isn't! He isn't going to have that lightning flash moment where he realizes that the girl he's been waiting for was right under his nose all along. Well....he might but that girl isn't going to be me.

They say the truth will set you free and it has in this case. I feel liberated and free to go on looking for the man that will adore me and worship me like I did Band Boy. I am free to look for a man who isn't a control freak. I am free to spend weekends doing something other than sitting in that bar trying to impress upon Band Boy that I could be the adoring girlfriend. I am free to not drop what I am doing to reply to his emails. I am free to set boundaries in my friendship with Band Boy without worrying that he will think of me as something other than the good friend I am.

Yes, the truth will set you free when you finally face up to it. And much to the joy of my friends who are tired of seeing me struggle with this, I am free at last!