TWO WEEKS DOWN!!

Wow! Has it been two weeks? I can't believe how time flies! But it has been a good two weeks! I got plenty of rest and worked on building my energy up! I guess the energy building worked! I felt well enough to sing in all 5 Easter services this weekend! What a blessing!

Yesterday was my two week post-op visit with my doctor! For the first time in my life I was excited to get weighed. The grand total is 36 pounds lost! That is 20 pounds in the two weeks since the surgery! WOW! It was a short visit with the doctor because I am doing so well! He basically said that if I felt like doing it, go ahead and do it! So tomorrow the girls and I are going to Disneyland! I need to walk and that is a great place to walk! Plus if I get tired, there are plenty of places to rest and people watch!

Another blessing is that I got the ok to get back in the pool! YEAH! I swam 30 minutes today and will try to work every day to get up to my pre-op time of 45 minutes in the pool!

So today I start with blended foods. It took me the better part of the AM to get my protein shake in but thanks to a friends blessing I finally found one I like! I am going home to have 4 oz of blended chicken and vegges! After 16 days of nothing but water and proteing drink, I am very excited!

This is such an amazing journey and such a wonderful gift from God! From the pre-weight loss to the surgery to the recovery and fasting, I have had no problems! I am so blessed!

:)

4 Days Post Op!! Yeah!

Wow! What a crazy experience this has been! I will be honest and tell you that if I had known exactly what I was in for, I may not have done it. But I am glad I did!

I was rushed into surgery on Tuesday morning. My scheduled time was 11:30 AM but the guy before me was late. So they took me first! What a blessing! The minute I hit the doors to get prepped for surgery, I paniced! I didn't have enough time for it to be enough for me to back out because I immediately got undressed and met with Dr. Dutson's assistant and the two anesthesiologists! The said they were giving me something to calm my nerves.....and then that was it! Next thing I remember was seeing Dr. Dutson was in the ICU, where I was being monitored for my sleep apnea! He told me they found a birth defect that almost cancelled my surgery! My diaphragm had formed a pocket and my intestines were pushed up inside it! How weird! They decided to go ahead with the surgery since I had been living with the defect without complication. Dr. Dutson said he pulled my intestines back where they are supposed to be and that we will talk about it 100 pds from now!

The first 24 hours I was in ICU. The nurses in ICU were great! They brought me cold wash clothes for my face and almost let me wait until after American Idol to go for a walk. That is, until the doc came in and made me go! :) I had visitors and calls that night so I was ok! They didn't even mind me pushing the pain med button every 5 minutes even though it only works every 15! :) I was only there to be monitored for my sleep apnea. They had me hooked up to a machine that seemed to wake me whenever I dosed off! I guess that was a good thing!

The next 24 hours was on the surgery ward in a semi-private room! The pain was slowly getting better! I only asked for the Oxycontin twice! I had a great nurse who just advised me to breath thru the pain and to get up and walk it off! I won't lie and tell you all was smooth! The drain they put in causes the most amazing pain and the catheter is painful and annoying! But walking and breathing made it much better! I took so many laps around the ward, the nurses would set their watches by me!

Everyday feels better and better! Yesterday I got up to about 40 grams of protein and took two walks around my caul de sac. Today I am at the library typing this! I also achieved a major milestone in that I went to IHOP with my Mom for breakfast and didn't feel sorry or tempted at all! Oh, sure! Everything looked and smelled great! I just didn't care. I sat and sipped my Isopure every 15 minutes, knowing that in 8 months or so I can have a bite of pancakes!

I am so glad this is over! Anyone with questions, feel free to ask!

The best is yet to come!

Cynthia

This Is It!!!

Wow! It is t-minus 4 hours and counting! 11:30 today! My mom and I are in a hotel room in Santa Monica, just minutes from the hospital! I have to check in a 9AM so we decided to come out last night to avoid the traffic! It's been nice having time with my Mom!

I had been a little nervous about the non-eating after the surgery but after the last two days of clear liquids only, non-eating isn't an issue! I just tell myself food is only fuel for the engine and nothing else. Then I pray! That worked real well! The craving for bagels and cream cheese went away today! :)

I also learned how important getting the protein in is! I tried to run errands yesterday and really felt crummy! Grape juice and chicken broth don't do much for energy. Starting tomorrow I am on a liquid protein diet!

I can't wait! I sat at home yesterday and when hunger pangs hit, I got out the new issue of Vogue and looked at all the new outfits I am going to wear! When I got nervous, I thought of my upcoming shopping spree in New York. And when I realized I may not be able to afford that, I started thinking about shopping at Old Navy! I can't wait! By July or so, I should be able to shop at Old Navy! I love Old Navy! :)

Well.....the time has come! I am really going to do this! I can't believe it is here already! This time tomorrow I will be a completely remodeled person. But as my Mom just reminded me, I will still be me...just in a better body! That doesn't sound so bad!

:)

I Will Say Yes!!

Wow! My life will be so different in just one short week! This is so crazy to even think about! No more gum, Advil, eating fast or drinking with meals! No popcorn, no sugar, limited caffeine! No food for a month, blended food for the month after that! Yikes! However, in just a few short weeks/months it will be no more squeezing into booths at restaraunts! No more being pulled out of curbside check-in at the airport so they can make sure I fit in the seat and no more seat belt extenders! No more declining trips to Magic Mountain because I can't ride the roller coasters. Mo more worrying about limitations in dressing cool for summer and no more shopping at "fat" stores. No more struggling with standing for 20 minutes to sing at church! Those trade offs seem more than fair! I will choose the latter set of "no mores" over the first few in New York minute!

Life is about choices. We always have a choice. And with choices comes responsibility and consequenses. For the first 40 years of my life, I blamed everything and everyone else for my lifestyle. It was their fault I was miserable! And the consequences of not following healthy habits were not severe to me: lonliness, limited clothes choices, mobility limitations. I haven't had a real date in my adult life. I talked myself into not caring. I just made myself busy with work and my limited social life so I wouldn't think about it. There was a reason I hated being by myself, being quiet! I didn't want to think about how miserable, lonely and sad I truly was!

Once I owned up to this lifestyle, I realised you can only play the blame game for so long. And then it is all up to you! I am not going to be the 40 year old grossly obese woman who uses a motorized cart to get around Vons! I just AM NOT going to be that woman! I am not going to turn down nights out with my friends because I could barely walk from the car to the hockey arena! I am not going to read the travel section of the paper and only wish I could go hiking or surfing!

The first 40 years of my life were about what I couldn't do. The next 40+ years of my life will be about the new things I can do! There will be no limitations! Instead of saying no, I will say yes!

I will say yes to walking, swimming, rollerblading on the Strand. Yes to going to the gym and loving it! Yes to skiing in Tahoe, surfing in Hawaii and hiking in Yosemite! I will say yes to biking in Catalina and wave running on Lake Mohave!

I will say yes to flirty, short dresses, strappy sandles and sleeveless shirts. I will say yes to tailored jackets, cute skirts and a shopping trip to Barneys in New York for new clothes! I will say yes to reading fashion magazines for more than just makeup tips!

I will say yes to being emotionally available and fearless with my relationships!I will say yes to forgivness and no to bitternes! I will say yes to tolerence and love! I will say yes to the hurt and not shy away, knowing that it is part of the process! I will say yes to getting out there and giving dating a shot! I will say yes to not having my weight to hide behind! I will say yes to a date with Ryan Seacrest, George Clooney or Brad Pitt. Or to the cute, nice guy I meet at Starbucks or church! I will say yes to marriage, knowing that with God and two people willing to work at it, marriage does work. I will say yes to marriage, knowing it is worth the struggle! I will say yes to continuing helping others with their kids, knowing that saying no to having my own is best for me! :)

I will say yes to viewing food as fuel for the engine! And to say yes to food being fuel, I will have to say no to food being a best friend, boyfriend, or nurturing parent. I will say yes to the occasional indulgence within what is reasonable but will no longer say yes to my boys, Ben and Jerry, when I am lonely or stressed!

I will say yes to God supplanting food is my strength and comfortor! I will say yes to asking Him what he wants for my life and actually listening! I will say yes to following His purpose and call for my life! I will say yes to His love and grace!

As I write this, I feel so free! I feel unafraid of what is ahead! What is a few weeks of chicken broth and blended chicken when I have the rest of my life to say yes to all that God will give me! And I know what he is going to give me will be amazing! Far better than any food!

I can't wait! Bring it on!

:)

Revising My Motivation!

***Sigh*** Just found out that concert is standing room for $80 and for $158 you might be able to get a seat in the back! :( Oh, well! I know insanity when I hear it and to do that only 4 weeks post-op is crazy! Even for the love of Bon Jovi. I can see myself doubled over, trying to tell the paramedics to pick me up along the 15, between the two cactus next to the huge tumbleweed! LOL! Not worth it, I keep telling myself! Oh, well! They are going on tour soon and i'll catch up with them and all my fellow crazies later. I am sure i'll see them on my 40th birthday.....in June......somewhere in the world.....a much thinner and healthier person!

Here is my new motivation: 4 years ago I was in NJ for the Bon Jovi shows at Giant's Stadium. My friend Cindy and I went to Asbury Park and took our picture along the boardwalk. I knew then I wanted to come back and take the exact same picture but as a much lighter person! I can't believe that is almost a reality!

:)

MOTIVATION!!!

Isn't God great? He knows exactly what will motivate me to do what I am supposed to do to aid in my recovery! Yep........it's a Bon Jovi show! April 10....Hard Rock Casino in Las Vegas! Do I want to go? You bet? Am I going to jepordize my health or my success? No. However, you can best believe it will be question #1 when I have my 2 week post-op visit with my doctor!

For those of you currently thinking I need to be committed, let me fill you in on the obessesion that is Bon Jovi! I have loved the band since I was 21! Their music has helped through some amazingly tough times, however, it isn't all bad. Some of the most amazing experiences of my 39 years have been because of my love of this band! I have traveled across the country to see their homecoming shows at Giants Stadium in NJ. I stood on my desk and sang the Star Spangled Banner at work while my boss pretended to moon me on Mark N Brian to be among 200 people to see them in a club on the Sunset Strip (got right up against the stage, close enough to read the brand of Jon's tennis shoes....AMAZING!!!). I risked a tresspassing arrest to meet Jon after an interview back in 1990. Among the craziness and fun, I have met some of the most amazing people and made wonderful friends! And I still hold fast to the dream that I will become thin and gourgous just to coincide with Jon having a mid-life crisis, moving to California, becoming a Christian rocker and ending up on a Rocky Peak worship team! That is a God sized dream to be sure! :)

So this Bon Jovi craziness has some history! Will I be able to go? Probably not. Do I welcome the possiblity as motivation? You bet! I just finished my 1st 15 minute walk today and will do another at lunch. I'll be drinking my protein every 15 minutes after surgery no matter how bad it tastes! I'll be doing short walks within my limits and following my post-op plans to the letter!

It is so important to have long and short term goals and God's timing is so dead on perfect! This is such a GOD THING!! He knows EXACTLY what it takes to motivate me :)

:)

TWO WEEKS!!!!

Wow! As of today, I have exactly two weeks until my surgery! I am getting excited! I started a collage of things I want to be/do after my surgery! My first thing was a picture of a gourgous size 10 outfit from Mosichino----$985!!! Much cheaper is my picture of someone surfing a wave in Hawaii! I need to find a picture of people hiking in Yosemite!

My Mom is being so awesome! So is everyone! My roommate Val, my best friends Terri and Shan, and my wonderful, loving and most awesome church family!!!! God has blessed me with love and friendship to the depths of which I never could imagine but always hoped I would have!! I could have never thought about doing this without each person who blesses and enriches my life! You are all amazing!

:)