Frustration1

When I took this job last September, I thought I was the luckiest person on earth. I posted my resume on Monster, got a call from this company in a week, had the interview the next day and the job a few hours later! I thought it was going to be the job I always wanted, simular to the one I had at Health Net but in the always exciting world of Entertainment Technology. I couldn't believe it!

I finally feel like I am getting the hang of this job but this week has been a tough one. The boss is in Ireland and I am the one "in charge" sort of. Well, on top of little mistakes and things not getting done quick enough to peoples satisfaction, I found out that I have been sending out the wrong type of contract for months! Crap!

I know I am have a tendency to be too hard on myself but is that what this is? I have to keep in mind I have only been at this 4 months. I had two days, just two, to learn a job that is extremely detailed and while not complicated, a little difficult. I do not have a legal background and I am drafting contracts. I don't have a technological background but have to explain our Surround Sound Technology to potential licensees. But my boss, who was just promoted to director on her 30th birthday, must have seen something on my resume right? If that's the case than why am I magnifying every little mistake and gripe from my Market Managers to the point where I am losing sleep?

I think more than anything, I hate feeling stupid in any aspect of my life and worse, I don't like thinking other people think i'm an idiot. I know I am intellegent but this job isn't making me feel like it! Reviews are coming up, i'll see what happens then. But I don't like thinking that I am going to come in and get fired, which I am sure I won't, but I hate feeling like it!

I need a drink! Tequila shots anyone!