Giving Thanks

Things I am grateful for this Thanksgiving:

1) Having a job
2) Having a comfortable place to live, food on the table and clothes to wear
3) Friends that are forgiving, kind and loving
4) My family
5) The awesome fur children in my life: Beanie, Thor, Theo, Brunswick! I am grateful for their unconditional love and the humor they bring to my life
6) Living in L.A., where it is 80 degrees and gloriously sunny on November 26th
7) A new Bon Jovi album and their upcoming tour (NYC...May....YIPEE)
8) The amazing doctors and nurses at Northridge Hospital that assisted in my surgery and recovery. They are doing amazing work in sometimes difficult circumstances.
9) The wonderful care the nurses gave me reinforcing my desire to go into nursing.
10) The 12 pounds I lost after surgery and my renewed desire to keep it off and to take of the remaining 80.
11) TiVo, XM Radio, the IPod and my Blackberry. I am a techno geek and love gadgets!
12) My lack of desire to be at Old Navy tomorrow at 3AM, WalMart at 6AM or anywhere near a mall all weekend!
13) Coffee Bean
14) Getting my classes for Spring Semester and my love of going to school
15) Our selfless men and women in uniform and the freedom their sacrifices afford all Americans.
16) The Butterball hotline. I don't cook....never called it....but I am grateful it exists in case I ever need to roast a turkey.
17) That our house isn't in danger of being burned to the ground by someone deep fat frying a turkey. We are eating out this year.
18) The Food Network. I'm grateful for Alton Brown showing me the science being food, Guy Fieri showing me the best Diners, Drive-Ins and Dives and Paula Deen showing that butter isn't something to be feared.
19) My friends and I making it to the end of an insanely wild year with our sanity relatively intact
20) Humor. It will get you through any situation

Happy Thanksgiving everyone!

Friends Are Family

I don't have a problem being single. I totally buy into the idea of being able to do what I want, when I want. What scares me about living life single became glaringly apparent after my recent health scare: when you are single, who takes care of you when you are sick or when you get old?

The truth is that when you are single, your friends become your family! The good friends step up and take care of things when you can't. Thank God I am blessed with some wonderful friends. Val, who took me to the hospital, had the presence of mind to remember what hospital contracted with my insurance and sat with me in the ER. Selena, Robert and Shannon, who came to visit and comforted me with pictures, books and just their presence. In return, I entertained them with incoherant, morphine induced mumblings and ramblings. Terri, who checked in and prayed for me! There are many others who left wonderful get well messages on Facebook. I am grateful for all of them! Their love and support helped greatly!

So when I get scared of being alone and sick, I think of the wonderful friends that helped me recover and know that if the tables are ever turned I would do the same for them. Just like family.

Surprise!

Life is what happens when you are busy making other plans. Oh boy, did I live this addage two weeks ago! I left work planning to spend the weekend studying for my mid-term. 24 hours later I was in the ICU at Northridge Hospital, dehydrated, borderline septic and looking at emergency surgery to fix a diaphragmatic hernia. What?? I am someone who never goes to the doctor. I am remarkably healthy, but it is God given and not because I am acting responsible for my health. Needless to say, I have never been to the ER.

I hadn't been feeling well and thought it was the overly spicy burrito I had eaten at midnight. The diagnosis at Urgent Care was gas. A $40 prescription for Previcid didn't help because 12 hours later I still felt crappy. Sunday afternoon, as my roommate and I were discussing whether or not to spent the $100 copay and go to the ER, I felt a searing pain shoot across my body and up my left shoulder. It felt like someone was slicing me open with a burning hot knife. I broke out instantly in a cold sweat and the question was answered. We were off to the ER.

The average wait in a L.A. County ER is 4 hours. I knew I was seriously in trouble when I got in after 45 minutes. I was severely dehydrated and had a very high white count. Luckily for me, I was busy concentrating on breathing through the pain otherwise I probably would have been terrified. I was just happy to be out of the misery that is the ER waiting room and on the way to having the problem solved. After a CT Scan, X-Rays and an Ultrasound, the culpret was found: I was born with a hole in my diaphragm and my bowel, stomach and intestines had moved up through the hole causing it to tear right behind my heart. The great thing is that once they knew what the problem was, I got drugs....good ones...morphine...wahoo! Relief!

I had surgery the next morning. I remember being woke up, wheeled into the surgery room and then waking up in recovery. The surgery was a success. They tried to do it laproscopicly but got in and found the hole was too big so I was opened up all the way. (I have a lovely scar that runs from the top of my chest to my belly button, no bikini in my future). They put a mesh wiring over the hole and pulled everything back down where it is supposed to be. I even have a DVD of the aborted laproscopic attempt! Cool!

The next 3 days were spent in the monitored care unit. I was hooked up to the heart monitor, catheter, IV and oxygen! This was the real deal. The day of surgery I slept. I remember 5-10 minutes of Gossip Girl but that is it. On my second day I was sitting in a chair and walking with the nurse without a walker. I only went a few doors down but by the time the physical therapy staff came, I could do two laps around the unit with the walker. This is probably why when Selena, Robert and Shannon came to visit, I could barely stay awake. Well...the walk and the morphine! On the third day, more sitting and walking and less morphine. Fourth day, doc came in and asked how I felt about going home! I said great! He said my progress was remarkable but there was no real reason for me to stay. Fine with me! I was home to watch Grey's Anatomy on Thursday night and actually stayed awake to see it.

Recovery is a work in progress. I feel less and less pain every day and last night I was actually able to sleep without a Tylenol PM! I can bend over but still am not supposed to lift anything. I am back to work next week and I am actually looking forward to it. Cabin Fever assists you in appreciating having somewhere to go everyday!


It has been two weeks...just two weeks... but I am feeling better and better every day. I am grateful for my health and will take a more active role in maintaining it!

Reinvention: A Work In Progress

A big part of my reinvention program is improving the parts of my life that need work. One of the areas of my life that could use improvement the most is my finances. I have a real instant gratification problem: I think about what feels good for that moment and not worry about the big picture. Consequences, like high interest rates and overdraft charges never enter my mind. Pay $35 for a latte due to overdraft? Oh well! Its the Thursday before payday and I really want that latte!

I do believe in God and know that He gives us opportunities to the right thing, and when we slip and do less than what we should, he lets us try again...and again...and again. Such is the case with me and my finances. I am out of the never ending cycle of overdraft and have my credit cards paid down and what does God present me with? One of the biggest Bon Jovi tours in a decade! Six shows readily accessible on the West Coast and THREE in New Jersey! The biggest test of my finances is concerts and even worse than that, a Bon Jovi tour!!

How am I doing? Well...The best seats available are almost $200 a pop! If I went to all those shows it would almost cost $2k for just tix alone! I can't do that! I don't really even want to get myself in that big of a hole! I have tickets to the NJ shows and will wait and see for all the West Coast ones. I can't say I haven't been tempted to overdraft and grab a KILLER seat for the LA show but I didn't do it! It just feels better not having that stress of only having $5 in my wallet! The tickets are on presale and the general presale is a week from Monday...after payday...when I am in a better position to buy. I feel good about waiting!

Sometimes delayed gratification feels better than then instant gratification. I am on the way to reinvention after all.

People: A Necessary Component To The Nursing Profession

It has been said....mainly by me...that I don't like people! What's to like? People abuse defenseless animals, abandon kids, act horribly towards each other and that is what you hear about on a GOOD news day! Look no further than at what the health care debate has turned into: hate and fear mongering! Makes me wish I was a dog!

 

I might be turning a corner though and coming back around to appreciating my species. I was enlightened today at, of all places, work. Today was one of those days I hate, all claims calls, all whiners, no one was happy…most of all, me! At about 6PM, my co-worker told me to take a deep breath and to remember that we don’t know what is happening on the other side of that phone. It could be illness, unemployment or sometimes both! We must be outside of ourselves and think about the other person!

 

It was then that I realized what I don’t like about customer service is that we are just the bearers of the bad news. We can’t control what is happening as there are procedures in place. We exist only to tell people what those procedures are! In nursing, I will actively be able to make a difference in people’s lives, not assist some huge corporation in screwing them.  

 

 

All of sudden, my future became clear. I have been nervous about going into nursing for the very fact that I just have no patience with crabby, stupid people! I am looking forward to the science medicine aspect just not the bitchy family members! Taking me out of my shoes to walk in theirs makes sense! The people are still going to be crabby but in the hospital they have reason to be! I think I am much more capable of handling the crabby cancer patient than the guy bitching about paying $25 for his $200,000.00 open heart surgery! I will be armed with the skills necessary to handle those family members with the skills I am learning as a Customer Service person.

 

I’m thinking I just might learn to like people again. We will see.

 

Youth, Wasted On The Young

I've been thinking lately about the decisions we are faced with when we are young. The fashion dos and don'ts, keep the cool superficial friends or the uncool yet interesting loser ones, meet curfew or be grounded, go to the prom or party with friends at a kegger not sanctioned by any parental units, get a job or not have a car....all perfectly stressful decisions for a teenager, right?

 

There is a reason why college isn't mentioned in that list. It is because I didn't really stress over whether or not to screw around in college, I just screwed around. I never took it seriously. I did well in the fun classes and flunked/dropped out of the boring, yet mandatory, ones. Mom said I would regret that one day. Did I listen? No. I had no time to worry about the future, I was having fun! I did just enough to get by and live at home…that is…until I left home and college altogether.

 

Life is funny. The older you get, the wiser your parents become. Mom was right, school is important. She also was right in that it gets harder to complete the older you are. When you are young you don’t have to worry about working, your TiVo filling up, your dogs missing you because you are either at school or at work. You don’t have to worry about finding time to study or if the bills are getting paid! Parents took care of all that pesky life stuff. All I had to worry about was studying but I was having too much fun to see the big picture. Life was so much easier back then.

 

I sit every week and see kids making the same mistake. They talk about blowing off tests and dropping out of classes. They are planning parties, downloading movies, not a care in the world. I’m jealous. I want to go back and do school over without the worries I have today. This is what I wish for the kids in my class. I hope they learn the value of education before they are in school in their 40’s, listening to the kid next to them plan the next kegger.

 

Following Your Bliss When The Bliss is Money

My co-worker and I got into a heated argument. I mentioned my goal is to finish nursing school, work as a nurse for 15 years making tons of money and then retire on my ranch to rescue dogs…that is, after I travel to every National Park in my RV! She asked why nursing when I don’t even like people! I said I am working now for $15 an hour in a job where I don’t like people and have to deal with them, why not do it for $75-90k a year? She said that it’s a shame to be working toward the goal of making money! I should be doing something I like and the money will come, follow my bliss and I would never have to work because bliss isn’t work! When I asked how well that was working for her, the subject suddenly was changed! I asked how much she loved listening to people complain about health insurance but she rushed off in a hurry. Imagine that!

 

This did get me to thinking: what is wrong with delaying the bliss following? For the first time in my life, I have a long-term goal in view. Sure, working full-time and going to school is hard and I might have to sacrifice an hour or two with the Desperate Housewives or Jack Bauer to study. It will be worth it! Put up with a few nasty family members? That can’t be any different that someone cussing you out because they didn’t’ bother to get pre-approval for their MRI and now they are getting a bill!

 

If I am going to not LOVE what I am doing, I might as well make money while I am doing it! That way, I can have enough money to be blissful in retirement. I may not be following my bliss now, but if I keep on this path, there will be plenty of bliss as a result.

 

The Hard Part

I was told going back to school wouldn't be easy! I thought they were talking about studying. Studying is the easy part. Finding the time to do it has proven to be very difficult!

I have too many things to distract me. I have 4 episodes on Oprah on TiVo, 2 Rottweilers that need a love fest, 2 months worth of magazines and catching up with my roommate to do. On top of all that it is National Blog Posting month and that means I have to blog every day! None of this should be more important than school but it always seems to be!

I have always had plenty of time. I am single with no kids so time has been strictly my own. Having time hasn't been a problem but setting priorities has been. I have been self-indulgent, only caring about fun.

Times, much like myself, are changing. I am finding the best time to study is in the morning and I stick to that. I watch TV only for an hour when I get home from work, to wind down. The magazines and books will wait. I am setting priorities that will serve me best in the long run, not just what will make me feel good now. That indeed is a change, one for the better.

Clarity

There is a moment in life where you have no doubt about the path you are about to take. You have no control over when it comes to you but you are sure when it does. Pop culture psychologists call it a "moment of clarity". I call it welcome relief!

Last night after a day of listening to podcasts of pundits arguing about health care, it dawned on me: if I quit my job and go to school full-time, I will be in the bracket of those without health care! I am too old for that! Then my thoughts progressed to other things: I work mid-afternoon to evening which makes going to school in the morning a breeze (the class selection is much better during the day) AND I work at a job that gives me 5k a year educational reimbursment that ISN'T tied into my current position (meaning they will pay for any major...not just what's related to your job) Ok...why was I thinking about leaving?

I am so relieved! The solution to my current worries was right in front of me all along: stay put! Keep my current job! I know the ropes, won't have to learn a new job on top of going to school and I have my benefits, health care and other wise. This way, I can leave community college debt free, with my RN and hit the ground making money instead of spending the first couple of years paying it back!

I feel much better that I know where I am going to school and who is going to pay for it! I don't have to worry about where to find financing or how I am going to live. I'll save all that for when I go back to get my advanced degrees. Right now, the plan is in place and all the details are starting to come together! This feels good!

Clarity

There is a moment in life where you have no doubt about the path you are about to take. You have no control over when it comes to you but you are sure when it does. Pop culture psychologists call it a "moment of clarity". I call it welcome relief!

Last night after a day of listening to podcasts of pundits arguing about health care, it dawned on me: if I quit my job and go to school full-time, I will be in the bracket of those without health care! I am too old for that! Then my thoughts progressed to other things: I work mid-afternoon to evening which makes going to school in the morning a breeze (the class selection is much better during the day) AND I work at a job that gives me 5k a year educational reimbursment that ISN'T tied into my current position (meaning they will pay for any major...not just what's related to your job) Ok...why was I thinking about leaving?

I am so relieved! The solution to my current worries was right in front of me all along: stay put! Keep my current job! I know the ropes, won't have to learn a new job on top of going to school and I have my benefits, health care and other wise. This way, I can leave community college debt free, with my RN and hit the ground making money instead of spending the first couple of years paying it back!

I feel much better that I know where I am going to school and who is going to pay for it! I don't have to worry about where to find financing or how I am going to live. I'll save all that for when I go back to get my advanced degrees. Right now, the plan is in place and all the details are starting to come together! This feels good!

What Is Your Legacy?

I was saddened to hear about the death of Eunice Shriver. For those of you that don't know she is John F. Kennedy's sister and Maria Shriver's mother. And that is legacy enough. But for millions of people with special needs and those that love them, she is the beloved founder of Special Olympics.

Special Olympics was born out of a family who had a member with special needs in an era where the mentally challenged were treated as pariah. Eunice's sister, Rosemarie, was one of them and was given a labotomy as a form a treatment. Eunice saw this destroy her sister and vowed to not let it happen to others. And the Special Olympics was born. Special Olympics gives those with special needs a place to shine! The athletes are made to feel like nothing less than what they truly are: humans who have the right to live with dignity! As a volunteer, your life can't help but be changed forever by being around people with such inherantly loving spirits!

It is a wondeful legacy born out of family tragedy! If Eunice Shriver can take tragedy and turn it into an amazing organization that will forever benefit millions, what can we do with our lives? What will your legacy be?

What Is Your Legacy?

I was saddened to hear about the death of Eunice Shriver. For those of you that don't know she is John F. Kennedy's sister and Maria Shriver's mother. And that is legacy enough. But for millions of people with special needs and those that love them, she is the beloved founder of Special Olympics.

Special Olympics was born out of a family who had a member with special needs in an era where the mentally challenged were treated as pariah. Eunice's sister, Rosemarie, was one of them and was given a labotomy as a form a treatment. Eunice saw this destroy her sister and vowed to not let it happen to others. And the Special Olympics was born. Special Olympics gives those with special needs a place to shine! The athletes are made to feel like nothing less than what they truly are: humans who have the right to live with dignity! As a volunteer, your life can't help but be changed forever by being around people with such inherantly loving spirits!

It is a wondeful legacy born out of family tragedy! If Eunice Shriver can take tragedy and turn it into an amazing organization that will forever benefit millions, what can we do with our lives? What will your legacy be?

God Shot Part 2

I have perfected the art of self-defeat. In fact, its one of the things I do best. I know the decision to go back to school and go into Nursing is the right one. I know switching to working part time while I do it will make things go quicker and make the process easier. Yet, when I am at home on the internet I'm doing everything BUT researching ways to make this happen!



That ends tonight! If my soul-sucking full time job weren't reason enough to stay up until dawn looking for ways to finance my education, God sent me a message in the form of a Joel Osteen podcast. The message was titled "Stay Open To The Possibility Of Something New". This message spoke to every doubt I have about weather or not nursing is for me! I may have my doubts but God dosent and that podcast was on my IPod to let me know that His dreams are bigger than mine.



So tonight, no virtual farming or reading up on Bradley Cooper and his "date" of the minute. I'm going home to find out how to finance my future. Anything that will get me out of the 9-5 grind is good!

Sent via BlackBerry from T-Mobile

God Shot Part 2

I have perfected the art of self-defeat. In fact, its one of the things I do best. I know the decision to go back to school and go into Nursing is the right one. I know switching to working part time while I do it will make things go quicker and make the process easier. Yet, when I am at home on the internet I'm doing everything BUT researching ways to make this happen!

That ends tonight! If my soul-sucking full time job weren't reason enough to stay up until dawn looking for ways to finance my education, God sent me a message in the form of a Joel Osteen podcast. The message was titled "Stay Open To The Possibility Of Something New". This message spoke to every doubt I have about weather or not nursing is for me! I may have my doubts but God dosent and that podcast was on my IPod to let me know that His dreams are bigger than mine.

So tonight, no virtual farming or reading up on Bradley Cooper and his "date" of the minute. I'm going home to find out how to finance my future. Anything that will get me out of the 9-5 grind is good!
Sent via BlackBerry from T-Mobile

Impulsive No More

In the little slice of heaven known as the weekend, we are not tied down by the restrictions of the work week! If you are like me, single-no kids, during the weekend you are free to go where the wind blows! You are free to change whatever plans you are silly enough to make in the first place!

Case in point: today! I had it all planned out. I was going to get coffee, go grocery shopping, and then hang out in the backyard with my boys and "The Time Travelers Wife". Lovely and relaxing, right? Then I saw Shan's text: John Mayer...Troubador...tonight! Wrist bands handed out at noon!

That, my friends, is why I have an empty fridge, an unread book on the night stand and I am at The Troubadour waiting for John Mayer to play about 5 feet in front of me! It is because when I get an email saying one of favorite musicians is playing a show in a club in West Hollywood....a small club...I am free to pick up and go!

I have always been impulsive and have done whatever sounds good at the time! However, now these decisions are going to have consequences that effect my future! I'm going to school to study for that career that will eventually let me retire and travel the rest of my life! I can't blow off a paper, test or final to go clubbing....even if its Mayer! Gone is the freedom to pick up and go to New York to see Bon Jovi or being able to waste time hanging out in bars hearing my friends bar band launch into the version of "Sweet Home Alabama" that they are sure will change music as we know it! All spare time from September until 4 years from now will be study time!

I worry about that potential loss of freedom but I am comforted by the knowledge that is temporary. I will keep my eyes on the prize. The prize is turning 70 and not being encumbered by the restrictions of working or restrictions of not having money to do anything. If I do this career change right, I'll retire with the rest of my life to do what I want and the money make it happen.

I haven't lost freedom, I am just putting it on hold for awhile! It is cool I am free to make that decision.

Sent via BlackBerry from T-Mobile

Impulsive No More

In the little slice of heaven known as the weekend, we are not tied down by the restrictions of the work week! If you are like me, single-no kids, during the weekend you are free to go where the wind blows! You are free to change whatever plans you are silly enough to make in the first place!

Case in point: today! I had it all planned out. I was going to get coffee, go grocery shopping, and then hang out in the backyard with my boys and "The Time Travelers Wife". Lovely and relaxing, right? Then I saw Shan's text: John Mayer...Troubador...tonight! Wrist bands handed out at noon!

That, my friends, is why I have an empty fridge, an unread book on the night stand and I am at The Troubadour waiting for John Mayer to play about 5 feet in front of me! It is because when I get an email saying one of favorite musicians is playing a show in a club in West Hollywood....a small club...I am free to pick up and go!

I have always been impulsive and have done whatever sounds good at the time! However, now these decisions are going to have consequences that effect my future! I'm going to school to study for that career that will eventually let me retire and travel the rest of my life! I can't blow off a paper, test or final to go clubbing....even if its Mayer! Gone is the freedom to pick up and go to New York to see Bon Jovi or being able to waste time hanging out in bars hearing my friends bar band launch into the version of "Sweet Home Alabama" that they are sure will change music as we know it! All spare time from September until 4 years from now will be study time!

I worry about that potential loss of freedom but I am comforted by the knowledge that is temporary. I will keep my eyes on the prize. The prize is turning 70 and not being encumbered by the restrictions of working or restrictions of not having money to do anything. If I do this career change right, I'll retire with the rest of my life to do what I want and the money make it happen.

I haven't lost freedom, I am just putting it on hold for awhile! It is cool I am free to make that decision.
Sent via BlackBerry from T-Mobile

Coping With Wine and The Hangover

I am a little overwhelmed these days. After struggling for two months with deciding if nursing was for me, I am now trying to find out how to flip my life around and go to school full-time while working part-time. There is so much info out there and so many opinions to be had that I am overwelmed! And I am coping with wine and The Hangover.

Ha...you are thinking that one is the consequence of the other. Au contraire my friends! The wine was brought home from a recent wine tasting weekend and "The Hangover" is the blockbuster movie of the summer! I am discovering the restorative properties of both!

The movie came at the right time for me because in the midst of plotting out the rest of my life, once in awhile I need to escape. Where better than to a movie that is hysterically funny, well written and not only gives you plenty of shots of Bradley Cooper's amazingly gourgous blue eyes but a few of him shirtless as well! Yowza! Can I just drop out of society for a night and go on a binge with Bradley??



I'll return to reality shortly.... but for right now...me, Bradley...Vegas...heaven! This glass of wine I am drinking and my fantasy life beats reality any day! ;)

Coping With Wine and The Hangover

I am a little overwhelmed these days. After struggling for two months with deciding if nursing was for me, I am now trying to find out how to flip my life around and go to school full-time while working part-time. There is so much info out there and so many opinions to be had that I am overwelmed! And I am coping with wine and The Hangover.

Ha...you are thinking that one is the consequence of the other. Au contraire my friends! The wine was brought home from a recent wine tasting weekend and "The Hangover" is the blockbuster movie of the summer! I am discovering the restorative properties of both!

The movie came at the right time for me because in the midst of plotting out the rest of my life, once in awhile I need to escape. Where better than to a movie that is hysterically funny, well written and not only gives you plenty of shots of Bradley Cooper's amazingly gourgous blue eyes but a few of him shirtless as well! Yowza! Can I just drop out of society for a night and go on a binge with Bradley??



I'll return to reality shortly.... but for right now...me, Bradley...Vegas...heaven! This glass of wine I am drinking and my fantasy life beats reality any day! ;)

A "God Shot"

God has a wonderful way of letting you know when you are headed down the right path. Boy, did He give me a virtual thumbs up today!

I was researching financing nursing school and came across information about a program that will finance your education if you commit to working 1-4 years in an under served area when you get out. That just screams prisons and ghettos but I thought I would take a look at the list to confirm.

There it was! Top of the list! God's way of saying "you go girl"! Santa Catalina Island....one of my most favorite places on the planet!!! I get can get my education financed by working at the place I vacation at every year?! How can a beautiful island paradise be under served?

I don't know but I do plan to investigate further! God is good! :)

Sent via BlackBerry from T-Mobile

A "God Shot"

God has a wonderful way of letting you know when you are headed down the right path. Boy, did He give me a virtual thumbs up today!

I was researching financing nursing school and came across information about a program that will finance your education if you commit to working 1-4 years in an under served area when you get out. That just screams prisons and ghettos but I thought I would take a look at the list to confirm.

There it was! Top of the list! God's way of saying "you go girl"! Santa Catalina Island....one of my most favorite places on the planet!!! I get can get my education financed by working at the place I vacation at every year?! How can a beautiful island paradise be under served?

I don't know but I do plan to investigate further! God is good! :)

Sent via BlackBerry from T-Mobile