A Writer's Crazy Journey

I Am Now A Statistic

2011-04-27T00:01:00.000-07:00

The statistics are broadcast on the news every day. Unemployment is skyrocketing, jobs are hard to come by, and that the only thing not going up are salaries for the ones that actually have a job. So for 28 months I go to a job I don't like and to work for people that don't like me. I tell myself that any job in this economy is better than none, even a job where I am bullied by those less intellegent than I and am babysat by a boss who couldn't manage her way out of a paper bag. I go for the salary and the benefits, telling myself even though I am more miserable at this job than I have ever been, its good to have a job, a job with benefits.

Then in a flash, its gone. The job I hated with a seething passion, gone. I couldn't believe I no longer had the routine, the daily challenge of pushing back the bullies and not letting callers get me mad because they are mad. 28 months of my life forcing myself to go to a place that made my stomach hurt just for a paycheck. Now the job and the check are both gone.

The day started like any other. I woke up, studied, went to Weight Watchers and headed to work so I would be on time, like usual, at 3pm. By 5pm, I was headed home, last paycheck in hand, wondering what to do now. Its amazing how quick your life can change and how unprepared you are when it does. Where my life used to be navigating the waters of angry callers and angrier co-workers, it is now used to navigate government programs and unemployment. (That mess is worthy of a blog all its own and I will write about that adventure tomorrow)

I am now a month removed and can see that all things happen for a reason. I truly believe God took me out of that toxic environment and has great things in store, not least of which is finishing school. The challenge will be finances. However, I know that if we follow, God will provide. And he has. It just takes time and faith.

I used to be an an employee but for now, I am a statistic. I don't mind. God has my back and I am more than ok with that.

Best Show You Aren't Watching

2011-03-10T10:29:00.001-08:00

I admit I am a television addict! It's not a secret. My tivo is currently 85% full. Among my can't miss shows are "White Collar", "Glee" and "Chuck". Fine shows, all of them. One show stands head and shoulders above the rest and I am glad its getting the recognition it so richly deserves.

"Southland", airing Tuesday nights on TNT, is a gritty police drama from the creative team behind such quality work as"ER", and my all-time favorite,"The West Wing". Centering on a rookie cop, his partner, and a group of detectives, "Southland" paints a picture of the L.A. rarely seen: raw, ugly and real! Superbly written and well acted,"Southland" is the rare gem among all the reality crap forced on us by laxy TV execs these days.

This article is excellent! Read it and then check out the best show on TV:

"Southland" finale: TV at its best

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Hello Again

2011-03-05T09:00:00.001-08:00

Hello blog!
Miss me? Ive missed you! I know I haven't been the best writer, disappearing for months, making promises to write and not keeping them. This is going to change. Technology has caught up with my need to have all things portable and purse friendly and bestowed upon me this amazing device called the "tablet PC"! It is essentially a computer the size of a paperback book and I am in love!

There are apps for things I didn't know I needed an app for. You, my dear blog, even have an app! Yes, "there's an app for that"! Blogger-droid lets me easily blog from anywhere! No more looking fora place with free wi-fi and the quickly disappearing place to sit. Now I just whip out my Galaxy and start blogging while waiting for the dude who has been at Starbucks for twelve hours to vacate his seat.

Now, if only the Zuckerbergs of the world would invent the anti-procrastination app......

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Back To School

2010-09-03T11:44:00.000-07:00

Ah, back to school! Back in the day, back to school meant the end of summer and the start of the fall TV season. It meant time to see our friends and catch up on who did what and with who and where while we we apart during summer vacation. It meant new clothes, new supplies, new teachers. It was a time mixed with dread and excitement!

As I sat in my overcrowded classroom this week, I lamented over the good ole days. I wish back to school meant what it used to. Now it means fighting for classes, praying your teacher gives a damn and hoping against hope that the cost of textbooks won't bankrupt you! New clothes? You are lucky after paying for tuition and books if you can afford cup of noodles, much less clothes. Summer vacation, three months off? Unheard of!

The one thing that remains the same between then and now: I can't wait to be finished with school.

Island Paradise

2010-08-26T11:23:00.000-07:00

About 20 miles off the coast of Southern California lies an island that almost belies description. It is an area almost as pristine as the day it was developed. Chain businesses are forbidden so Vons and Coldstone are the only names you would recognize. Mom and Pop places abound and many have been there for decades. Families come back year after year, often with children and grandchildren in tow.

Welcome to Catalina Island and the tiny town of Avalon. This is the place my friends and I come back to year after year for fun in the sun relaxation. Everything is scaled down here. Smart cars are the only vehicles on the island outside of golf carts. Even FedEx has to scale down. Check out this tiny truck:

Catalina is a quaint village that can be exactly what you make of it. You can have a margarita at the bar:

Or on a beach:

It isn't all drinking and shopping. One of the coolest things to do is to rent a golf cart and tour the outskirts of Avalon. On one such journey, we encountered some locals! They were very calm and photogenic:

We love Catalina! My roommate took me there for the first time 8 years ago and I fell in love with the place. It is romantic, tropical and a wonderful place to get away. I look forward to this trip all year!

A Magic Dress

2010-08-21T16:25:00.001-07:00

There is a series of books/movies about these girls that share one pair of jeans because the pants possess a magic quality. I haven't read the books or seen the films so I just assume the pants are magic because they make your butt look great! Now I realized there might be something to magic clothes

Yesterday I discovered this power for myself. I found a dress in a glorious shade of red. It fits perfectly and hugs the curves in all the right places. Most importantly, it's cut to accentuate my two best features and no, I'm not talking about my eyes!

What is magical about this dress is how it makes me feel! I feel sexy, empowered! The me in this dress flirts with the barista at Coffee Bean and tells the bully at work to back off and sit down! It was like the dress tapped into my inner Angelina!
I love the strong, intelligent, frisky and fun woman I am in this dress!

The magic of this dress isn't in how it made me look but what it helped me to discover. This sexy, strong, smart, flirty, funny woman is me regardless of what I have on! The feelings I felt in the dress yesterday have carried over to today. I realized this while flirting with the cashier at Panera in my shorts and Bon Jovi t-shirt! The dress just brought out what I had in me all along.

With all that said, I'm guessing the true magic occurred at the register. The Angelina-channelling dress was purchased on sale for $9.99, Brad Pitt not included. At that price, I can afford more! I am going back to the store and try to find pants that make me tap into my inner Italian model. George Clooney, look out!
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I'm Back In The Writing Groove

2010-08-17T23:32:00.001-07:00

Ok, confession time! I have a tendency to get totally immersed in my latest activity to the detrement of all other aspects of my life. Case in point: My three+ years at The Church At Rocky Peak. Most people can go to service, maybe join a bible study or a ministry and be fine. Me? I had to join choir, give a testomony in front of 3k people over 3 services in a weekend, participate in skits, join a life group in Santa Clarita, teach 2nd and 3rd grade sunday school, participate in 12 performances of the Easter production while being a member of the Tech Team! Over commit much? Oh yeah, I do.

So now you get the picture. Which is why when I went back to school, I kinda disappeared. I started out slow, one class, but when that was interrupted by emergency abdominal surgery, I felt I had to make it up in the spring. So I took that class over, added another one and there I was at school every Tues-Thurs at 7A, after working until midnight the night before! Weekends and mornings were study time.

I was successful in that I was able to pull down a 3.428 average doing things but at what cost? We can start with the 15 pound weight gain that I am firmly convinced was the result of only getting 4-5 hours of sleep a night! Then there were the friends that went unseen (Hi Selena! Remember me...your friend you haven't seen since Thanksgiving) and the little joys in my life that went by the wayside, like writing for my blog.

It was a lesson learned. I learned I need balance. I had it in my head that I wanted to finish school as quickly as possible however, I don't want to weight 500 pds and be friendless at the end of it. So I am taking one class this coming semester and it starts at 1:30pm. That gives me time to sleep and time to write.

A balanced life is a healthy life.

Best Use Of Texting-Do It For Haiti

2010-01-19T12:34:00.001-08:00

I'm reposting this because it dovetails into my previous post...and because it's important!
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I love texting. I love that it is immediate and I love that I can use it to communicate with the world at large. You know, the one that works a regular schedule while I work 3p-12A. Texting gives me a way to communicate on the sly, outside regular channels that require speaking and letting a boss know I am on the phone other than the one that customers are calling on.

Texting has many wonderful and practical uses. Today I found the best use of all. Like many of us, I have been horrified at the stories and pictures coming out of Haiti the last few days. The impoverished nation has been all but leveled by a 7.0 earthquake! Collapsed buildings are just the beginning of the horror. There is no food, little clean water and even less medical supplies and personnel to attend to the wounded. The number of casualties grows exponentially by the minute. They have no infrastructure in place to help with such a massive disaster and they are overwhelmed!

While watching these images on CNN, my heart was breaking! I felt compelled to help! I was surprised to see that by texting “Haiti” to 90999, a $10 donation will be sent to the Red Cross and then charged to my cell phone bill! Amazing! I could donate, charge it and it is so easy!

Last I heard, over 7 million dollars was raised in text donations over the last couple of days! That’s a lot of tiny typing being done in the name of humanity! I know there will be a lot of efforts to get help and money sent to Haiti and I am sure it will all be welcome. Texting utilizes technology to get people to donate in a way that is quick and easy!

All of my California friends, both Northern and Southern have been in an earthquake! Those of us here who remember Northridge and my No Cal friends remember Loma Prieto! We know what it feels like to be rocked and we were lucky to survive. Many in Haiti did not! Imagine what life would be like now if we faced the kind of leveling in our cities as they experienced in Haiti! It is sad! No malls, theatres, restaurants, not to mention hospitals!

If you are reading this and remember, and even if you don’t, would you just take a couple of seconds and text the Red Cross! You won’t even notice the $10 on the bill and it will be the best text you will ever send! I am sure the Haitians will be grateful.

A Wake Up Call

2010-01-19T11:54:00.000-08:00

Humans have a tendency to ignore the uncomfortable. If it isn't happening to us directly, we don't worry about it. Every now and then, a situation happens that is impossible to ignore. The situation is dire, the media jumps in, George Clooney organizes a telethon and we get involved. We get a collective wake up call!

In fairness, I must say I used to be one of those that had the "NIMBY" mentality. Poverty, homelessness...well, that didn't happen in my middle-class neighborhood. I am working, I have a comfortable home in a nice area in L.A. and a car. I don't have much to worry about. Then my brother got out of jail, was put in a half-way house with mental illness diagnosis and is currently living with no income. I was forced to deal with the fact that he needed help. I had to get rid of the notion that all homeless people are addicts and see that some of them really would like to become self efficent and just need the help to do so. I am not wealthy by any strech, but do what I can to help him. I discovered it feels good to help others.

Much like my brother's situation woke me up, high profile situations like the one in Haiti wake up others. With non stop news coverage and celebrities stepping in, the media is making it difficult if not nearly impossible to ignore the fact that we are being called on to help. It is human nature to want to get involved if everyone else is. It doesn't take much. You can donate by cel phone, credit card or even drop change in the jar at the market.

Helping others feels good! It takes us out of our immediate situation and makes us aware of the world around us. We just need to sometimes receive the call that points us in the right direction. Hopefully, the feeling won't just stop once Haiti fades from our TVs and magazines and we can help those around us. We need to think and act both globally and locally.

The Best Thing About The Truth

2010-01-17T14:43:00.000-08:00

Selena and I both love to write. The thing is I need to be motivated because I just put off writing. I don't know why but I do. So Selena and I challenge each other to write a blog every day. I was able to do it for a month or so. Lately, not so much.

This weekend I was able to come to a hard truth about this endeavor. My road to this truth actually started with a lie. "Don't tell anyone and i'll just backdate it", I said to Shannon at 12:04 AM this morning. What we were keeping secret is that once again I put off writing my blog so long that something eventually came up and I forgot.

The frustrating truth is that I knew this would happen. It could have been avoided. I was the passenger in a car on an hour-long car ride. Shannon and I were coming back from Santa Barbara and I had nothing to do but write the blog on my Blackberry and send it. I told myself I should write it, that I would forget. This was at 9:30 PM. Did I do it? No because I told myself I would have time when I got home. Then Shannon and I ended up at Oh Grady's and the blog was forgotten. Until 12:04. Until it was too late.

This error led me to several truths about the blog a day challenge:

1) I am not disciplined enough to write every day
2) I write better when I write when inspired, not when I have to
3) I am more likely to stick with writing 2-3 times a week
4) Selena is an awesome blogger

So there it is. I am just not cut out to write a blog a day. I am not sure I even want to. I will commit to keeping my blog current by writing no less than twice a week, more if time permits. I like writing, I have been told I am good at it. The one thing I haven't been good at is discipline.

The best thing about the truth is that it sets you free. Freedom from pressure to write is what came with looking at myself and discovering that I like to write and write well when not pressured. Whew!

The Best Text I Ever Sent

2010-01-15T23:55:00.000-08:00

I love texting. I love that it is immediate and I love that I can use it to communicate with the world at large. You know, the one that works a regular schedule while I work 3p-12A. Texting gives me a way to communicate on the sly, outside regular channels that require speaking and letting a boss know I am on the phone other than the one that customers are calling on.

Texting has many wonderful and practical uses. Today I found the best use of all. Like many of us, I have been horrified at the stories and pictures coming out of Haiti the last few days. The impoverished nation has been all but leveled by a 7.0 earthquake! Collapsed buildings are just the beginning of the horror. There is no food, little clean water and even less medical supplies and personnel to attend to the wounded. The number of casualties grows exponentially by the minute. They have no infrastructure in place to help with such a massive disaster and they are overwhelmed!

While watching these images on CNN, my heart was breaking! I felt compelled to help! I was surprised to see that by texting “Haiti” to 90999, a $10 donation will be sent to the Red Cross and then charged to my cell phone bill! Amazing! I could donate, charge it and it is so easy!

Last I heard, over 7 million dollars was raised in text donations over the last couple of days! That’s a lot of tiny typing being done in the name of humanity! I know there will be a lot of efforts to get help and money sent to Haiti and I am sure it will all be welcome. Texting utilizes technology to get people to donate in a way that is quick and easy!

All of my California friends, both Northern and Southern have been in an earthquake! Those of us here who remember Northridge and my No Cal friends remember Loma Prieto! We know what it feels like to be rocked and we were lucky to survive. Many in Haiti did not! Imagine what life would be like now if we faced the kind of leveling in our cities as they experienced in Haiti! It is sad! No malls, theatres, restaurants, not to mention hospitals!

If you are reading this and remember, and even if you don’t, would you just take a couple of seconds and text the Red Cross! You won’t even notice the $10 on the bill and it will be the best text you will ever send! I am sure the Haitians will be grateful.

The Best Second Chance

2010-01-14T12:46:00.000-08:00

The crew from Orange County was on the tarmac getting ready to ship out to help the victims of the Haitian earthquake. Supplies we're being gathered for the mission: first aid items, clothes, food, a dog carrier...dog carrier?

The carrier belongs to Spuds, a lab on a mission. When I saw Spuds he was sitting calmly, ready to get on the plane. His vest was his uniform and it told everyone he is a trained rescue dog. Putting on that vest tells Spud its time to get to work. Today he had to wait while his human told his heartwarming story to the reporter.

Spuds started his life in a shelter, wondering if he would ever find a family to love, preferably one with a house and a big backyard. He didn't know life would have a more noble plan for him. Someone at the shelter recognized his potential to become a rescue dog. Spuds was sent to be trained and now he is off to Haiti!

Sometimes all it takes is someone to recognize potential we don't know we have, be it human potential or animal. Spuds was given a chance to use his to serve and help humans. He is a lucky dog.

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The Best Parent

2010-01-13T22:57:00.000-08:00

Good parenting isn’t easy. It requires the parent to be selfless and strong with the discipline. It requires routine. It requires the knowledge that it really does hurt you more than it does them. Parenting is hard but it is so important. I truly feel some of us are cut out to do it and others aren’t. The skill to be able to parent effectively is a gift and it isn’t just bestowed upon those with human children. It is also given to the parents of the furry kids as well.

My friend Selena was given the gift and needed an outlet for all her parental tendencies and talents. Human children weren’t in the plan so two years ago she adopted Brunswick, a sweet poodle from “the hood”. A year later, Brunswick, who had apparently inherited his mom’s heart, met Theodore in doggie day camp. He heard Theodore had been thrown out of a car, was homeless and then the two became friends. Brunswick begged Selena to let him come home with them. Theo and Brun became brothers and Theo never went back. In addition to the boys, the Inouye household has three cats, one is a new addition recently acquired from the suburban jungle, aka the backyard.

Humans, cats and dogs all peacefully co-exist in Selena’s house because Selena is the best kind of pet parent. She acts responsibly by licensing her pets and she never walks them off leash. She also does what all parents should do and that is to raise her kids to be kind and responsible. With fur children, this is done by not only training your pets but taking an interactive role in the training process. With guidance from her PetSmart trainer, Ashley, Selena works with the pooches to sit, heel and to not beg for food. Selena makes the boys work for treats which reinforces good behaviors.

I will admit, in contrast, that I am not the best pet parent. I love my two kids, Beanie and Thor like any parent. However, my two aren’t trained, and beg to the point where I run upstairs and eat behind closed doors to keep them from drooling on me while they beg! Yuck! I have spoiled them to death, good for my heart but bad for them! In my defense, our dogs have a huge backyard and house to roam around in so my ill parenting isn’t inflicted on society at large.

None the less, I am in awe of Selena. She works hard to make sure she is raising good kids and her hard work pays off when her dogs are good members of the world they live in. That is what parenting is all about.

The Best Burger

2010-01-12T23:39:00.000-08:00

It was a debate that raged on for months. My friends and I from the West Coast on one side, our friends from the East Coast on the other. See, we were all planning to meet in New Jersey. The occasion? Bon Jovi’s first hometown shows in a decade! You would think we would be discussing song selection, where to stay, the weather? Nope! We had matters of much more importance on our minds. The debate was over which side of the nation has the best burger: West Coast fave In and Out or the East Coast staple White Castle.

I had a vague recollection of White Castle from when I was small. For some reason, I remember going to a White Castle in Cincinnati with my dad. I remember the burgers to be small and square but really had no memory of the taste. So on that trip to New Jersey, our first stop was at the White Castle in Sayerville NJ. We were sure the burgers taste better there because reportedly Jon Bon Jovi himself worked there while in high school. I ordered 3 “sliders” and a small fries and must say the eats were tasty. They are really nothing more than meat, onions and bun, which is how I like it! I can see why people say the best way to order them is by the dozen and the best time to eat them is on a Saturday morning while you are coming home from the bar. You need to eat a dozen of the tiny things before it registers that you are eating a burger! They are perfect post-bar hopping food and like most things back east, White Castle is 24 hours.

That is one thing White Castle has over In And Out, 24 hour accessibility. However, as much I liked eating the east coast burger in such a landmark setting as Jon Bon Jovi’s hometown, I still hold true to my belief that for a true burger, you can’t beat In and Out. Maybe its my LA bias but give me a real sized burger any day. Meat that tastes like beef, soft buns and fries that taste like potatoes, not grease! That is the In and Out experience! “Freshness you can taste” the commercials tell us and its true! The various ways you can order their burgers is legendary but I like mine with meat, cheese and mustard! That’s it!

“In And Out. That’s what a hamburgers all about”. Just make sure you make it out of the bar or club by 1!

The Best Night Of Television

2010-01-11T23:46:00.000-08:00

It seems like every now and then there is one night of television that stands out among the rest.

One of my earliest memories is of Friday night television. That’s right, Friday. Now a virtual TV wasteland, back in the early 70’s it was magic night. That was the night for “The Brady Bunch”, “Partridge Family” and “Nanny and the Professor”. My television addiction can be traced right back to my parent’s putting me on restriction from Friday night TV when I talked back. No David Cassidy? Oh, the horror! In the mid-late seventies, magic night was Tuesdays. I can remember playing in the backyard up until “Happy Days” and “Laverne and Shirley” came on. The 80’s? Of course, Must See Thursday with “Cosby Show”, “Cheers” and then, later on “Friends”.

Once “must see Thursdays” went by the way of the doo doo, I didn’t think there would be another magic TV night. That was until the last couple of years when Monday became not a day of dread, but a night I look forward to with glee. That is because of Jack Bauer, the Gossip Girls, and a loveable spy named Chuck.

Yes, my friends, Monday night is the best night of television out there. I do realize that statement is subjective. But for me, you can’t be a loveable spy, a bad ass counter-terrorism agent and spoiled, young, rich Manhattanites! “24”, “Chuck” and “Gossip Girl”. Three of my most favorite shows and they are all on Monday night. These shows have great writing, characters you want to know more about and great plot driven comedy/drama! Those things are a combination that makes for great TV! Hard to come by in an industry driven by reality crap and those that star in it! Yuck! Give me Jack Bauer and Chuck kickin ass over some kid squawking over on American Idol!

These three shows make Monday night the best for TV. Tune in and you won’t be disappointed!

The Best Part of Being Broke

2010-01-10T23:35:00.000-08:00

I know this sounds contrary but I eat better when I have little money. Its true!

When I have money, I am more likely to drive through or order out! Its the easy way out for this single girl. The problem is that easy isn't always cheap.

When I have little money, I can't afford to eat out! I am forced to actually shop and cook at home. My crock pot gets the work out and not my wallet. Today I made Beef Stew and my roommates and I had a lovely dinner! With veggies bought at the .99 store my stew fed 3 for about $10 and there are leftovers for lunch.

Not having money is a bummer but I love the challenge of putting meals together with what I have. Having to cook at home is the best part of being broke.
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The Best Part Of Staying Home Today

2010-01-09T23:56:00.000-08:00

I was not happy about staying home today! I had planned to assist in the float tear down but due to the promise of a free Disney land ticket, they had plenty of volunteers. My plan to go out to Selena's fell through as I didn't feel well.

My disappointment quickly abated when I found two movie gems on Tito : Blue Hawaii and Viva Las Vegas! I had the afternoon and two of Elvis best movies to watch.

Watching Elvis movies is the perfect cure to what mills you. Boy meets girl, sings about it, boy loses girl, sings about it, wins her back, big finale! You know what you are getting and its good!

Light and fun, Elvis movies are great! I wasn't happy about my plans falling through but the Elvis movies were the best part of staying home today!
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The Best Part Of Working In A High Rise

2010-01-08T19:43:00.000-08:00

Most people would say that when all else fails, the paycheck is the best part of their job. In this economy, beyond every thing else, a paycheck is of tantamount importance. I have one other thing that is an amazing part of my job. While it doesn’t beat out the paycheck for the #1 thing that gets me into the office, it is the best thing about working in a high rise. I am speaking about the view.

I work on the 11^th floor of a building situated in the West San Fernando Valley. There are windows going completely around the perimeter. If it weren’t for the cubicle farm, I would have a panoramic view of the Valley. I have to settle for the spectacular south to west view, looking towards the beautiful west hills and the northwest Valley.

On a clear day this view is spectacular. On most days, we witness some of the most spectacular sunsets in the world. The most gorgeous colors of pink, orange and blue color the western sky at dusk! Gods paint palette is amazing and reminds me what an artist he is!

I may not like my job and I don’t respect some of my coworkers. But when I come in to earn that paycheck, I love looking out the window. That view is the best!

The Best Way To Unwind

2010-01-07T09:42:00.000-08:00

There are many things that can take the edge off a rough day: a hot shower, glass of wine, a favorite show saved on TiVo. For me, the best out of all of them is the smiling face of my other Rottie BFF, Beanie.

Beanie is our other Rottie, Thor's brother. They are two peas in a pod. Thor is mellow and Beanie is high energy. It is Beanie that recognizes the sound of my car as it parks along the curb. When he hears it, he runs half way down the stairs, sits on the landing, and looks out between the slats of the bannister.

It is his smiling face that I see when I come in the door. His tail wagging, he is so happy to see me I think he is going to burst. How can you be unhappy when you come home to a greeting like that. Sometimes I wonder if the enthusiastic reaction is hopeful manipulation in order to get a peanut butter dog biscuit but it doesn't matter. The loving greeting Beanie gives is the start of our nightly love fest and the best way to unwind after a long day.

The Best Part Of Waking Up

2010-01-06T23:54:00.000-08:00

I used to be a morning person. I used to be able to wake up without my alarm, bounce out of bed and hit the ground running. That was before the 3p-12a grind, before working full-time and going to school, before I started staying up until 3A to watch “Radio Free Roscoe” on TeenNick.

I am no longer a morning person. I am slow to move and grumpy. However, I have developed a routine that is something I look forward to despite my newfound dislike of mornings. I stumble downstairs, wait the 3 minutes that it takes for the coffee to steep in the press. During the time I am downstairs, Thor, my trusty Rottie BFF, has taken over the corner of the bed by my chair. I pour my coffee, grab the remote and Thor and I watch our favorite show, “The West Wing”.

Mornings are no fun, really they are not. But thanks to our routine, Thor and I make the best of them. We watch our favorite show, drink our favorite beverage and slowly ease into the day. Having time to hang out with my bud is the best part of waking up.

The Best Phrase

2010-01-05T23:36:00.000-08:00

I have discovered the best phrase. It is very simple but can speak volumes. It is 8 words that mean freedom when I use them to let my Mother know I don't want to play her game. The phrase? "I love you but I have to go"

My mom and I have a rocky relationship. Our phone calls used to inevitably end with one of us in tears, mainly me. Now, when she starts the blame game, I use the simple phrase that sets me free: "I love you but I have to go".

I called her tonight to see if she could send my unemployed brother the grocery gift card we seem to be taking turns sending. She said she would, I said I would try and send $20 in a week, she got on me about it not being enough, I said fine, she said that was hateful, I used the phrase and hung up. Done deal! I made the request on behalf of my brother, achieving what I set out to do. Using the phrase minimized the collateral damage that is usually a result of a call like that!

I love my Mom, I truly do and now I have found the best phrase to allow myself to keep loving her.

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Best Thing About My Job

2010-01-04T23:58:00.000-08:00

Ah, Open Enrollment. It is the time of year that most employer groups renew their benefit plans. In health insurance, it is the craziest time of the year to be on the phone. People with new benefits either want to know what those benefits are or why they are having trouble accessing them. Providers want to know why claims haven’t paid or why they paid little as they did. People pissed, whining, all around unhappy. The time of year I have dreaded since Christmas.

This year it will be different. I have a years experience under my belt. I know that claims are denied because the provider coded a routine baby checkup on a 24 year old. I know that orthotics are generally covered, Viagra is not. I know that I am very blessed to have a job.

The best thing about my job is that it is temporary. I don’t like it and can barely tolerate it. But I am grateful for what it provides. It provides me a means to an end. It provides the money I need to go to school, get my degree and go on to bigger and better things. Not soon enough, however, but it will happen eventually. That is the thought that gets me through open enrollment.

The Best Part Of Being A Financial Mess

2010-01-03T23:55:00.000-08:00

A new year and I find myself in a not so new position. I always say once I am out of it I willl never go back but some times I do.

Being out of work for 3 weeks has led me right back to the ovedraft zone. I hate it as it is hard to get out of.

The best part of being in this mess is I have the means and ability to get out of it...for the last time....ok, for now!
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The Best L.A. King

2010-01-02T23:55:00.000-08:00

He was the 9th round pick in the 1984 NHL draft, 171st pick over alll. It was told that he couldn't skate but the LA Kings saw something special in the kid from Montreal.

He went on to play 19 years in the NHL, most of them for the Kings. A 4 time all-star, he scored 597 goals to become the highest scoring left-wing in history. Last November, he was a 1st ballot inductee into the Hockey Hall of Fame.

His stats are remarkable but they are only a part of what makes Luc Robitaille the best. Equally as important is his love of the game and its fans.

Luc loves the fans and we love him! He always makes time for a picture or autograph. He greets fans with the same smile that was on his face when he hit the ice. He quickly became a fan favorite and still is, two years into retirement!

Many hockey players put up great numbers. Luc combined talent and skill with a love for the game, the fans and the city of LA. He is the best LA King!
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The Best Thing About New Years

2010-01-01T23:58:00.000-08:00

The best thing about New Years Day is that it gives us a reason to take stock of where we have been. This year is special because it is the end of a decade.

Ten years ago I was still in my apartment. I still weighed 347 pounds and had yet to visit Rocky Peak. I had just started working at HealthNet and school wasn't even on the radar. I was miserable and lonely. I didn't really know much about myself.

It is amazing how much things can change in 10 years. I am living with a wonderful roommate, I have been out of health insurance and back again and I am grounded in my faith. I am 100 pounds lighter and have restarted my education, going back to school so I can become an RN.

I have also learned a lot about myself in the years between 34 and 44. I have learned I a heart for volunteering, dogs and God. I learned only you can permit others to disrespect and take advantage of you. I have learned happiness comes from things that aren't material. I became a better person.

The best part of New Years day is taking a look at where we have been because this allows us to also think about where we are going. It allows us to see the best is yet to come.

A Gift Of A New Beginning

2009-12-01T09:30:00.000-08:00

December 1st and we are at the beginning of the giving season. Walmart ads everywhere you look, charities that come calling, it's enough to drive you crazy! Fortunately, I believe the best gifts aren't the material ones, but ones that can change a life, be it yours or someone else's.

I was given such a gift about a month ago and it came straight from God! Granted, it came rather harshly but God knows sometimes I need that harshness to get my attention. I am talking about my recent surgery and how it gave me a major "do over".

Friday night, about a month ago, I was driving home from work. Although it was the start of a weekend, I wasn't happy. I was feeling very burned out and overwhelmed. I wasn't happy with my job, I was gaining, not losing weight and I was wondering if school and working full-time was really the route I should be going. I wasn't sure nursing is for me. I felt bored, frustrated and didn't know what to do! Little did I know that 48 hours later I would be in the ICU, facing emergency surgery.

As it turned out, the surgery cured the problems I had with my digestive system and I came home 12 pounds lighter. The hospital stay gave me a new-found appreciation for nursing given the amazing care they all provided me. My 3 week recovery and the boredom I had at home made me grateful to have a job to go to. I even have a do over for school as I had to drop out this semester but was able to get my classes at a campus 1/2 mile from my office starting in Spring.

I do feel I have a new lease on life. I was forced to stop and take a step back, look at my life and see that it isn't so bad. I am grateful for my blessings and consider the surgery one of them. It is amazing when you look back and see that God used something so scary for something good. It's awesome!

Giving Thanks

2009-11-26T09:30:00.000-08:00

Things I am grateful for this Thanksgiving:

1) Having a job
2) Having a comfortable place to live, food on the table and clothes to wear
3) Friends that are forgiving, kind and loving
4) My family
5) The awesome fur children in my life: Beanie, Thor, Theo, Brunswick! I am grateful for their unconditional love and the humor they bring to my life
6) Living in L.A., where it is 80 degrees and gloriously sunny on November 26th
7) A new Bon Jovi album and their upcoming tour (NYC...May....YIPEE)
8) The amazing doctors and nurses at Northridge Hospital that assisted in my surgery and recovery. They are doing amazing work in sometimes difficult circumstances.
9) The wonderful care the nurses gave me reinforcing my desire to go into nursing.
10) The 12 pounds I lost after surgery and my renewed desire to keep it off and to take of the remaining 80.
11) TiVo, XM Radio, the IPod and my Blackberry. I am a techno geek and love gadgets!
12) My lack of desire to be at Old Navy tomorrow at 3AM, WalMart at 6AM or anywhere near a mall all weekend!
13) Coffee Bean
14) Getting my classes for Spring Semester and my love of going to school
15) Our selfless men and women in uniform and the freedom their sacrifices afford all Americans.
16) The Butterball hotline. I don't cook....never called it....but I am grateful it exists in case I ever need to roast a turkey.
17) That our house isn't in danger of being burned to the ground by someone deep fat frying a turkey. We are eating out this year.
18) The Food Network. I'm grateful for Alton Brown showing me the science being food, Guy Fieri showing me the best Diners, Drive-Ins and Dives and Paula Deen showing that butter isn't something to be feared.
19) My friends and I making it to the end of an insanely wild year with our sanity relatively intact
20) Humor. It will get you through any situation

Happy Thanksgiving everyone!

Friends Are Family

2009-11-25T12:00:00.000-08:00

I don't have a problem being single. I totally buy into the idea of being able to do what I want, when I want. What scares me about living life single became glaringly apparent after my recent health scare: when you are single, who takes care of you when you are sick or when you get old?

The truth is that when you are single, your friends become your family! The good friends step up and take care of things when you can't. Thank God I am blessed with some wonderful friends. Val, who took me to the hospital, had the presence of mind to remember what hospital contracted with my insurance and sat with me in the ER. Selena, Robert and Shannon, who came to visit and comforted me with pictures, books and just their presence. In return, I entertained them with incoherant, morphine induced mumblings and ramblings. Terri, who checked in and prayed for me! There are many others who left wonderful get well messages on Facebook. I am grateful for all of them! Their love and support helped greatly!

So when I get scared of being alone and sick, I think of the wonderful friends that helped me recover and know that if the tables are ever turned I would do the same for them. Just like family.

Surprise!

2009-11-24T06:33:00.000-08:00

Life is what happens when you are busy making other plans. Oh boy, did I live this addage two weeks ago! I left work planning to spend the weekend studying for my mid-term. 24 hours later I was in the ICU at Northridge Hospital, dehydrated, borderline septic and looking at emergency surgery to fix a diaphragmatic hernia. What?? I am someone who never goes to the doctor. I am remarkably healthy, but it is God given and not because I am acting responsible for my health. Needless to say, I have never been to the ER.

I hadn't been feeling well and thought it was the overly spicy burrito I had eaten at midnight. The diagnosis at Urgent Care was gas. A $40 prescription for Previcid didn't help because 12 hours later I still felt crappy. Sunday afternoon, as my roommate and I were discussing whether or not to spent the $100 copay and go to the ER, I felt a searing pain shoot across my body and up my left shoulder. It felt like someone was slicing me open with a burning hot knife. I broke out instantly in a cold sweat and the question was answered. We were off to the ER.

The average wait in a L.A. County ER is 4 hours. I knew I was seriously in trouble when I got in after 45 minutes. I was severely dehydrated and had a very high white count. Luckily for me, I was busy concentrating on breathing through the pain otherwise I probably would have been terrified. I was just happy to be out of the misery that is the ER waiting room and on the way to having the problem solved. After a CT Scan, X-Rays and an Ultrasound, the culpret was found: I was born with a hole in my diaphragm and my bowel, stomach and intestines had moved up through the hole causing it to tear right behind my heart. The great thing is that once they knew what the problem was, I got drugs....good ones...morphine...wahoo! Relief!

I had surgery the next morning. I remember being woke up, wheeled into the surgery room and then waking up in recovery. The surgery was a success. They tried to do it laproscopicly but got in and found the hole was too big so I was opened up all the way. (I have a lovely scar that runs from the top of my chest to my belly button, no bikini in my future). They put a mesh wiring over the hole and pulled everything back down where it is supposed to be. I even have a DVD of the aborted laproscopic attempt! Cool!

The next 3 days were spent in the monitored care unit. I was hooked up to the heart monitor, catheter, IV and oxygen! This was the real deal. The day of surgery I slept. I remember 5-10 minutes of Gossip Girl but that is it. On my second day I was sitting in a chair and walking with the nurse without a walker. I only went a few doors down but by the time the physical therapy staff came, I could do two laps around the unit with the walker. This is probably why when Selena, Robert and Shannon came to visit, I could barely stay awake. Well...the walk and the morphine! On the third day, more sitting and walking and less morphine. Fourth day, doc came in and asked how I felt about going home! I said great! He said my progress was remarkable but there was no real reason for me to stay. Fine with me! I was home to watch Grey's Anatomy on Thursday night and actually stayed awake to see it.

Recovery is a work in progress. I feel less and less pain every day and last night I was actually able to sleep without a Tylenol PM! I can bend over but still am not supposed to lift anything. I am back to work next week and I am actually looking forward to it. Cabin Fever assists you in appreciating having somewhere to go everyday!

It has been two weeks...just two weeks... but I am feeling better and better every day. I am grateful for my health and will take a more active role in maintaining it!

Reinvention: A Work In Progress

2009-11-05T13:33:00.000-08:00

A big part of my reinvention program is improving the parts of my life that need work. One of the areas of my life that could use improvement the most is my finances. I have a real instant gratification problem: I think about what feels good for that moment and not worry about the big picture. Consequences, like high interest rates and overdraft charges never enter my mind. Pay $35 for a latte due to overdraft? Oh well! Its the Thursday before payday and I really want that latte!

I do believe in God and know that He gives us opportunities to the right thing, and when we slip and do less than what we should, he lets us try again...and again...and again. Such is the case with me and my finances. I am out of the never ending cycle of overdraft and have my credit cards paid down and what does God present me with? One of the biggest Bon Jovi tours in a decade! Six shows readily accessible on the West Coast and THREE in New Jersey! The biggest test of my finances is concerts and even worse than that, a Bon Jovi tour!!

How am I doing? Well...The best seats available are almost $200 a pop! If I went to all those shows it would almost cost $2k for just tix alone! I can't do that! I don't really even want to get myself in that big of a hole! I have tickets to the NJ shows and will wait and see for all the West Coast ones. I can't say I haven't been tempted to overdraft and grab a KILLER seat for the LA show but I didn't do it! It just feels better not having that stress of only having $5 in my wallet! The tickets are on presale and the general presale is a week from Monday...after payday...when I am in a better position to buy. I feel good about waiting!

Sometimes delayed gratification feels better than then instant gratification. I am on the way to reinvention after all.

People: A Necessary Component To The Nursing Profession

2009-11-04T23:35:00.000-08:00

It has been said....mainly by me...that I don't like people! What's to like? People abuse defenseless animals, abandon kids, act horribly towards each other and that is what you hear about on a GOOD news day! Look no further than at what the health care debate has turned into: hate and fear mongering! Makes me wish I was a dog!

I might be turning a corner though and coming back around to appreciating my species. I was enlightened today at, of all places, work. Today was one of those days I hate, all claims calls, all whiners, no one was happy…most of all, me! At about 6PM, my co-worker told me to take a deep breath and to remember that we don’t know what is happening on the other side of that phone. It could be illness, unemployment or sometimes both! We must be outside of ourselves and think about the other person!

It was then that I realized what I don’t like about customer service is that we are just the bearers of the bad news. We can’t control what is happening as there are procedures in place. We exist only to tell people what those procedures are! In nursing, I will actively be able to make a difference in people’s lives, not assist some huge corporation in screwing them.

All of sudden, my future became clear. I have been nervous about going into nursing for the very fact that I just have no patience with crabby, stupid people! I am looking forward to the science medicine aspect just not the bitchy family members! Taking me out of my shoes to walk in theirs makes sense! The people are still going to be crabby but in the hospital they have reason to be! I think I am much more capable of handling the crabby cancer patient than the guy bitching about paying $25 for his $200,000.00 open heart surgery! I will be armed with the skills necessary to handle those family members with the skills I am learning as a Customer Service person.

I’m thinking I just might learn to like people again. We will see.

Youth, Wasted On The Young

2009-11-03T20:53:00.000-08:00

I've been thinking lately about the decisions we are faced with when we are young. The fashion dos and don'ts, keep the cool superficial friends or the uncool yet interesting loser ones, meet curfew or be grounded, go to the prom or party with friends at a kegger not sanctioned by any parental units, get a job or not have a car....all perfectly stressful decisions for a teenager, right?

There is a reason why college isn't mentioned in that list. It is because I didn't really stress over whether or not to screw around in college, I just screwed around. I never took it seriously. I did well in the fun classes and flunked/dropped out of the boring, yet mandatory, ones. Mom said I would regret that one day. Did I listen? No. I had no time to worry about the future, I was having fun! I did just enough to get by and live at home…that is…until I left home and college altogether.

Life is funny. The older you get, the wiser your parents become. Mom was right, school is important. She also was right in that it gets harder to complete the older you are. When you are young you don’t have to worry about working, your TiVo filling up, your dogs missing you because you are either at school or at work. You don’t have to worry about finding time to study or if the bills are getting paid! Parents took care of all that pesky life stuff. All I had to worry about was studying but I was having too much fun to see the big picture. Life was so much easier back then.

I sit every week and see kids making the same mistake. They talk about blowing off tests and dropping out of classes. They are planning parties, downloading movies, not a care in the world. I’m jealous. I want to go back and do school over without the worries I have today. This is what I wish for the kids in my class. I hope they learn the value of education before they are in school in their 40’s, listening to the kid next to them plan the next kegger.

Following Your Bliss When The Bliss is Money

2009-11-02T22:01:00.000-08:00

My co-worker and I got into a heated argument. I mentioned my goal is to finish nursing school, work as a nurse for 15 years making tons of money and then retire on my ranch to rescue dogs…that is, after I travel to every National Park in my RV! She asked why nursing when I don’t even like people! I said I am working now for $15 an hour in a job where I don’t like people and have to deal with them, why not do it for $75-90k a year? She said that it’s a shame to be working toward the goal of making money! I should be doing something I like and the money will come, follow my bliss and I would never have to work because bliss isn’t work! When I asked how well that was working for her, the subject suddenly was changed! I asked how much she loved listening to people complain about health insurance but she rushed off in a hurry. Imagine that!

This did get me to thinking: what is wrong with delaying the bliss following? For the first time in my life, I have a long-term goal in view. Sure, working full-time and going to school is hard and I might have to sacrifice an hour or two with the Desperate Housewives or Jack Bauer to study. It will be worth it! Put up with a few nasty family members? That can’t be any different that someone cussing you out because they didn’t’ bother to get pre-approval for their MRI and now they are getting a bill!

If I am going to not LOVE what I am doing, I might as well make money while I am doing it! That way, I can have enough money to be blissful in retirement. I may not be following my bliss now, but if I keep on this path, there will be plenty of bliss as a result.

The Hard Part

2009-11-01T22:39:00.000-08:00

I was told going back to school wouldn't be easy! I thought they were talking about studying. Studying is the easy part. Finding the time to do it has proven to be very difficult!

I have too many things to distract me. I have 4 episodes on Oprah on TiVo, 2 Rottweilers that need a love fest, 2 months worth of magazines and catching up with my roommate to do. On top of all that it is National Blog Posting month and that means I have to blog every day! None of this should be more important than school but it always seems to be!

I have always had plenty of time. I am single with no kids so time has been strictly my own. Having time hasn't been a problem but setting priorities has been. I have been self-indulgent, only caring about fun.

Times, much like myself, are changing. I am finding the best time to study is in the morning and I stick to that. I watch TV only for an hour when I get home from work, to wind down. The magazines and books will wait. I am setting priorities that will serve me best in the long run, not just what will make me feel good now. That indeed is a change, one for the better.

Clarity

2009-08-12T22:23:00.001-07:00

There is a moment in life where you have no doubt about the path you are about to take. You have no control over when it comes to you but you are sure when it does. Pop culture psychologists call it a "moment of clarity". I call it welcome relief!

Last night after a day of listening to podcasts of pundits arguing about health care, it dawned on me: if I quit my job and go to school full-time, I will be in the bracket of those without health care! I am too old for that! Then my thoughts progressed to other things: I work mid-afternoon to evening which makes going to school in the morning a breeze (the class selection is much better during the day) AND I work at a job that gives me 5k a year educational reimbursment that ISN'T tied into my current position (meaning they will pay for any major...not just what's related to your job) Ok...why was I thinking about leaving?

I am so relieved! The solution to my current worries was right in front of me all along: stay put! Keep my current job! I know the ropes, won't have to learn a new job on top of going to school and I have my benefits, health care and other wise. This way, I can leave community college debt free, with my RN and hit the ground making money instead of spending the first couple of years paying it back!

I feel much better that I know where I am going to school and who is going to pay for it! I don't have to worry about where to find financing or how I am going to live. I'll save all that for when I go back to get my advanced degrees. Right now, the plan is in place and all the details are starting to come together! This feels good!

Clarity

2009-08-12T22:23:00.000-07:00

What Is Your Legacy?

2009-08-11T13:39:00.001-07:00

I was saddened to hear about the death of Eunice Shriver. For those of you that don't know she is John F. Kennedy's sister and Maria Shriver's mother. And that is legacy enough. But for millions of people with special needs and those that love them, she is the beloved founder of Special Olympics.

Special Olympics was born out of a family who had a member with special needs in an era where the mentally challenged were treated as pariah. Eunice's sister, Rosemarie, was one of them and was given a labotomy as a form a treatment. Eunice saw this destroy her sister and vowed to not let it happen to others. And the Special Olympics was born. Special Olympics gives those with special needs a place to shine! The athletes are made to feel like nothing less than what they truly are: humans who have the right to live with dignity! As a volunteer, your life can't help but be changed forever by being around people with such inherantly loving spirits!

It is a wondeful legacy born out of family tragedy! If Eunice Shriver can take tragedy and turn it into an amazing organization that will forever benefit millions, what can we do with our lives? What will your legacy be?

What Is Your Legacy?

2009-08-11T13:39:00.000-07:00

God Shot Part 2

2009-08-10T22:17:00.001-07:00

I have perfected the art of self-defeat. In fact, its one of the things I do best. I know the decision to go back to school and go into Nursing is the right one. I know switching to working part time while I do it will make things go quicker and make the process easier. Yet, when I am at home on the internet I'm doing everything BUT researching ways to make this happen!

That ends tonight! If my soul-sucking full time job weren't reason enough to stay up until dawn looking for ways to finance my education, God sent me a message in the form of a Joel Osteen podcast. The message was titled "Stay Open To The Possibility Of Something New". This message spoke to every doubt I have about weather or not nursing is for me! I may have my doubts but God dosent and that podcast was on my IPod to let me know that His dreams are bigger than mine.

So tonight, no virtual farming or reading up on Bradley Cooper and his "date" of the minute. I'm going home to find out how to finance my future. Anything that will get me out of the 9-5 grind is good!

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God Shot Part 2

2009-08-10T22:17:00.000-07:00

Impulsive No More

2009-08-09T21:00:00.001-07:00

In the little slice of heaven known as the weekend, we are not tied down by the restrictions of the work week! If you are like me, single-no kids, during the weekend you are free to go where the wind blows! You are free to change whatever plans you are silly enough to make in the first place!

Case in point: today! I had it all planned out. I was going to get coffee, go grocery shopping, and then hang out in the backyard with my boys and "The Time Travelers Wife". Lovely and relaxing, right? Then I saw Shan's text: John Mayer...Troubador...tonight! Wrist bands handed out at noon!

That, my friends, is why I have an empty fridge, an unread book on the night stand and I am at The Troubadour waiting for John Mayer to play about 5 feet in front of me! It is because when I get an email saying one of favorite musicians is playing a show in a club in West Hollywood....a small club...I am free to pick up and go!

I have always been impulsive and have done whatever sounds good at the time! However, now these decisions are going to have consequences that effect my future! I'm going to school to study for that career that will eventually let me retire and travel the rest of my life! I can't blow off a paper, test or final to go clubbing....even if its Mayer! Gone is the freedom to pick up and go to New York to see Bon Jovi or being able to waste time hanging out in bars hearing my friends bar band launch into the version of "Sweet Home Alabama" that they are sure will change music as we know it! All spare time from September until 4 years from now will be study time!

I worry about that potential loss of freedom but I am comforted by the knowledge that is temporary. I will keep my eyes on the prize. The prize is turning 70 and not being encumbered by the restrictions of working or restrictions of not having money to do anything. If I do this career change right, I'll retire with the rest of my life to do what I want and the money make it happen.

I haven't lost freedom, I am just putting it on hold for awhile! It is cool I am free to make that decision.

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Impulsive No More

2009-08-09T21:00:00.000-07:00

I haven't lost freedom, I am just putting it on hold for awhile! It is cool I am free to make that decision.
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Coping With Wine and The Hangover

2009-08-08T23:44:00.001-07:00

I am a little overwhelmed these days. After struggling for two months with deciding if nursing was for me, I am now trying to find out how to flip my life around and go to school full-time while working part-time. There is so much info out there and so many opinions to be had that I am overwelmed! And I am coping with wine and The Hangover.

Ha...you are thinking that one is the consequence of the other. Au contraire my friends! The wine was brought home from a recent wine tasting weekend and "The Hangover" is the blockbuster movie of the summer! I am discovering the restorative properties of both!

The movie came at the right time for me because in the midst of plotting out the rest of my life, once in awhile I need to escape. Where better than to a movie that is hysterically funny, well written and not only gives you plenty of shots of Bradley Cooper's amazingly gourgous blue eyes but a few of him shirtless as well! Yowza! Can I just drop out of society for a night and go on a binge with Bradley??

I'll return to reality shortly.... but for right now...me, Bradley...Vegas...heaven! This glass of wine I am drinking and my fantasy life beats reality any day! ;)

Coping With Wine and The Hangover

2009-08-08T23:44:00.000-07:00

A "God Shot"

2009-08-07T22:41:00.001-07:00

God has a wonderful way of letting you know when you are headed down the right path. Boy, did He give me a virtual thumbs up today!

I was researching financing nursing school and came across information about a program that will finance your education if you commit to working 1-4 years in an under served area when you get out. That just screams prisons and ghettos but I thought I would take a look at the list to confirm.

There it was! Top of the list! God's way of saying "you go girl"! Santa Catalina Island....one of my most favorite places on the planet!!! I get can get my education financed by working at the place I vacation at every year?! How can a beautiful island paradise be under served?

I don't know but I do plan to investigate further! God is good! :)

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A "God Shot"

2009-08-07T22:41:00.000-07:00

God has a wonderful way of letting you know when you are headed down the right path. Boy, did He give me a virtual thumbs up today!

I don't know but I do plan to investigate further! God is good! :)

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Checking Out

2009-08-06T23:51:00.001-07:00

I came to a startling conclusion today:. I am ready to check out of corporate America and go live the life of the student. A life where I can be mentally challenged….wait, that is what this job makes me feel like…..lets make that a life where I can be challenged mentally.

This is my third go around in customer service and I hate it just as much as I ever did. What made me think taking this job was a good idea? Oh yeah, I was unemployed at the time! I know a job right now is a good thing its just that I am tired of existing to listen to people whine and complain about their health plan. That is what the press is telling people, right? Health Insurance is the evil one! We are just out to screw the members. Due to the abundance of garbage in the media about how bad health care is, they are going over every claim explanation and calling to complain, question and otherwise just drive me nuts!

Then we have corporate politics or as I like to call it, life in the sandbox. It's a life of catty gossip and everyone climbing over you to advance their own agenda! They form alliances and work to get you kicked off the island….if you don't submarine them and kick them off first! Just like grade school when you and your bff stood in the corner to laugh at the kids you didn't like! Corporations like you to think the culture is that we all work for the good of the company and are all in this together! Give me a break! Ill believe that when it shows up on my paycheck!

The irony of a blog complaining about people complaining isn't lost on me but after 8 months of this, I am really ready to check out! Go be a student and then start a new career. Nursing won't be easy but at least the patients have something to complain about!

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Checking Out

2009-08-06T23:51:00.000-07:00

Hope

2009-08-05T23:24:00.001-07:00

I have been exceptionally happy lately. I just feel like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders. I wasn't sure why. I am still working at a job I am not wild about for far less money than I have made in years. I am still single with no prospects. Still broke. But I am happy.

Today I figured it out. I am happy because I know I am not destined to be permanently broke, single or in a job I am not wild about. I am headed for some hard work and lean days money wise but they are only steps on the journey to better things. The hope of a better day makes all the craziness of the current mess I am in melt away. Hope is a unique thing! It helps us to keep our eyes on the future when the present is too crazy to deal with.

Hope was delivered by my aunt in the form of a suggestion to go to nursing school. Nursing gives me a career and a way to give back by helping people. It will provide a secure career and money to make up for the last 28 years I have spent goofing around! I see retirement in my future and that gives me hope, makes me happy.

With nursing, I have hope that I won't have to work at a dead end job forever. I will have a career and the education to back it up. Hard work will have to happen but at the end of it, I know that retirement is only a relative few years away. It is then that I will blissfully canvass the country on my National Park RV tour! Me and my dog…and hopefully that funny, gorgeous doctor I picked up along the way.

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Hope

2009-08-05T23:24:00.000-07:00

Everyone Has Advice

2009-08-04T23:55:00.001-07:00

Deciding to hit the ctrl-alt delete on my life took about a month. It was a month of prayer, thought and worry if I was doing the right thing. A little divine pep talk given to me while in Yosemite let me know I am headed in the right direction but what are the steps necessary to get to the destination?

Deciding to go back to school only opened up a hornets nest of questions! Where to go? Private, community, mail order? Do I go part time, full time, all the time? In state, out of state, under a bridge? Financing? That is a whole other set of crazy questions! Student loans, scholarships or sugar daddy?? So many options!

Everyone knows someone who is a nurse, is becoming a nurse, dropped out of nursing, loves it, hates it, best thing they did or the worst! Everyone has someone who has wizzed through school in record time and is now making a fortune!

I love my support system. My friends and family are the best in the world, don't get me wrong. I know they have my beat interest at heart and I love them dearly! Its just that with a decision this big, I need to take in all the advice and do what's best for me.

I need to go back to Yosemite and get some more advice of the "divine" variety. Come to think of it, I can get that anywhere!

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Everyone Has Advice

2009-08-04T23:55:00.000-07:00

When All Else Fails, Reboot!

2009-08-03T22:59:00.001-07:00

Selena and I are addicted to this game on Facebook that when the server become over loaded, the game freezes and the system crashes. I find myself rebooting my system every time I play.

We can do that in life as well. I am giving my life a major reboot! A much needed swift kick in the priorities! It is something I didn't even know I needed until divine intervention came in the form of my wonderful Aunt Pat!

Last month she called out of the blue and said she wanted to come and hang out! I was expecting bad news as the visit was unprecedented and unexpected! Why else would she be coming? What I received, however, was a question from her that started my future in motion: have you ever thought about going into nursing?

No I hadn't but I am tired of drifting through life and nursing makes sense. Short term education time, long term job security and big money! It was something I had never thought of but after thinking and praying about it for a month, I'm going for it! I can make up for my 44 years of playing around with my time and money by working hard for the next 20. Make a boatload of money and retire at 65!!

With a long range goal in sight, I have rebooted my life! I am off to college, this time with a clear goal in mind! I hit the ctl-alt delete on life and I am starting over! I'm taking a do-over for what I should have done at 18! It will probably be the hardest thing I've done but the most rewarding! Who knows, maybe I'll meet a funny doctor who looks like McSteamy and rescues dogs while I am at it! :)

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When All Else Fails, Reboot!

2009-08-03T22:59:00.000-07:00

Bliss Part 2

2009-08-02T23:47:00.001-07:00

So I have been thinking and as a addendum to yesterdays blog I have decided that bliss can be something that is worked towards. There is bliss in having a goal, working towards something. Who said bliss has to be instantaneous? Why do we just assume that we aren't happy if we don't have what we want right now. Can't we be less blissful while working towards something that will ultimately bring us joy?

That is where my life is at right now. Until now, I was wandering aimlessly through life, no goal, no idea how it was going to work out. I wasn't really contributing to the greater good, not leaving a legacy. Those fears and thoughts aren't blissful by any stretch of the imagination. Then, by an intervention that I will write more about tomorrow, I was given a push towards something that I had never thought of but makes perfect sense. It is something that I will have to sacrifice and work my ass off to obtain (two things previously not in my wheel house) but once I achieve what I am working towards, life will ultimately be blissful! I can't wait!

Stay tuned...more detail tomorrow! :)

Bliss Part 2

2009-08-02T23:47:00.000-07:00

Bliss

2009-08-01T23:54:00.001-07:00

John Lennon once said "life is what happens when you are busy making other plans". This is true. You cruise along, dreams in hand and suddenly you find yourself somewhere unexpected...if you find yourself anywhere at all.

California...land of dreams! I'm a native Cali girl and believe in dreams. I've always believed that following your bliss was the way to go and that if you love what you do you wouldn't work a day in your life. My problem was that the dream was that I would be the rock star/actor, marry the rock star/actor or write about the rock star/actor. The closest I've come is almost getting arrested at KLOS trying to simply meet the rock star ( A story best left for another blog).

Needless to say I'm not on the billboard charts, I haven't written for Rolling Stone and Bradley Cooper lives with his two dogs, not me! My dreams didn't quite come to fruition. So maybe bliss takes a while to get to. Is bliss something you "follow" or something you work towards?

As I sit on the south side of 40, I am coming to realise that life might have other plans for me. Plans that don't involve rock stars, actors or even writing for that matter. Can your bliss change when you get older?

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Bliss

2009-08-01T23:54:00.000-07:00

Second Chances

2009-07-27T12:50:00.001-07:00

Image via Wikipedia

Michael Vick was reinstated by the NFL today. He can play games after week 6 and generally go back to the way things were before he aided in the mercenary and unmerciful activity of dog fighting.

Do I agree with the NFL? Well...I am conflicted! As you probably know, I am a major dog lover! The fact the Vick assisted in the torture and brutal murder of innocent dogs...pit bulls mostly....turns my stomach even today. The man has paid his debt to society by serving jail time and making restitution. He has lost everything! Would I like him to do more? Absolutely!! Instead of worrying about the NFL, I would like to see him work for a rescue or maybe do a PSA regarding the evils of dog fighting or maybe do something to better the image of the pit bull!

Fortuately the fate of the dogs rescued from Vick's kennel is a much happier story. Due to the efforts of wonderful organizations such as Best Friends, the dogs many thought were beyond rehab has gone on to live happy lives! Some of these dogs have gone on to be therapy dogs and two Vick dogs finished their court mandated year waiting period, passed their CGC tests and were officially adopted this week! The first of hopefully many!

So the question remains that if the dogs once thought to be mean and vicious succeed after they were given a second chance, should Vick? Should he be able to go back to the life he led before his egregious crimes? Not sure! I don't know if that is possible! There will be protests galore thrown the way of any team that picks him up! He is a PR nightmare! This story is still being written and I truly hope it has a happy outcome for all involved

Second Chances

2009-07-27T12:50:00.000-07:00

Image via Wikipedia

Last Week In God's Country

2009-07-20T14:47:00.001-07:00

A week ago today, this was the view when I woke up:

Last week I woke up in Yosemite Valley to views of granite vistas, tall trees and waterfalls. This week, it's waking up to Dallas Raines telling me it's going to be 103 degrees in the Valley. Oh, joy!

Last week, I was talking to the very friendly wildlife:

This week I get to speak with wildlife of a somewhat unfriendly sort, the customer who's claim was denied.

Last week while in Yosemite, I learned that speeding kills bears:

This week, I learned speeding kills your bank account too as I work to pay off a $312speeding ticket I got while coming back from Vegas last year.

Those are just a few of the differences between last week in Yosemite and this week in the real world. The trip was amazing as was the park. Yosemite is truly God's country and I can't wait to go back!

Last Week In God's Country

2009-07-20T14:47:00.000-07:00

A Little Bit Of Heaven

2009-07-11T23:17:00.001-07:00

" A Little Bit of Heaven....94.7 KMET....Tweedle Dee"! If that just brought a smile to your face and nostalgia to your heart, you aren't alone! Yesterday, 100.3 The Sound brought that smile back to many faces as they broadcast the first "Finally A Friday" in years! It was KMET day on the station and many of the DJs from back in the day did shows, played clips from back in the day and joined us in reliving the memories of back when commercial radio was worth listening to!

For Southern California music fans, KMET was and always will symbolize the glory days of LA rock radio! The station who told us to "fly low and avoid the radar" did just that as the music was not subject to corporate whims! The cuts went deep into the albums...yes, albums...and the DJs were deep into the topical humor! The boundaries were pushed and listeners loved it! Think "WKRP In Cincinati" and I think you have the picture!

KMET was a huge part of my high school days! I discovered my love of rock music through KMET and the station was the first place I heard Journey! I remember fondly wearing my KMET shirt as all the cool kids did! KMET wasn't just a radio station, it was a state of mind...an altered state at times but it was all ours. We claimed it proudly!

I miss KMET for what it was and what it represents to me! It represents a day when things weren't corporate and overly "PC"! And for all who listened to the "Fish Report With A Beat" yesterday and were taken back to the days when radio was good, I give a shout out with the signature greeting of the "Immoral Minority"...YOOO-YA!!

A Little Bit Of Heaven

2009-07-11T23:17:00.000-07:00

Listening and Following The Path

2009-07-09T14:03:00.001-07:00

I am a person who likes to just dive in! I get excited about something or get an idea that I feel is worth pursuing and it's off to the races. I jump in and then think about it along the way. I have a tendency to believe in "go big or go home" but thankfully I am also a firm believer in God and the power of prayer!

This all comes into play today. I have been thinking and praying about my mid-life shift because I have been feeling overwhelmed! As is my nature, I started to embark on 3 major projects all at once and what I am finding is that I am devoting little time to any of them! 5 minutes on a dating website, 10 minutes researching career options, 4 minutes working on the blog....this is getting me nowhere but frustrated and depressed.

This morning in the shower I had what Oprah calls an "ah ha" moment but I prefer to call it a "God shot"! See, I think thoughts can often be little shout-outs from God! He often speaks to me in the shower...don't know why! Anyway, His current missive to me was that I am trying to do too much at once! He advised me to "prioritize...put the career and blog upfront and the romance will come when you aren't looking"! Wow!

I instantly felt better and hopped on line! I updated my resume and cover letter and found a very interesting opportunity I am perfect for with EBay! That got me to thinking about maybe researching jobs in technology. I love technology! My IPod and Blacberry are permanent extensions of my body! I am very active in the wave of the future, social media! I don't know what getting a high paying job in technology will involve but this may be the path I am meant to take. I know I am much more excited about this path than nursing (sorry Aunt Pat, love you but I just don't like people...LOL)! Plus, you all know I love my "geeks" and where else to find the geek of my dreams that working in the tech sector...BONUS! :)

This is exciting on many levels! See, I haven't been exactly walking with God these days but he hasn't forgotten that I am down here. God is amazing! He doesn't forget and when you take the time to ask and then, more importantly, take the time to listen, He will give you the information and guidence you need. He never fails!

This journey is a work in progress, as they all are, and I am sure this isn't the last revision. A work in progress makes for an exciting blog, right?

:)

Listening and Following The Path

2009-07-09T14:03:00.000-07:00

Mid Life Crisis Is Tiring!

2009-07-08T14:21:00.001-07:00

I am getting overwhelmed with trying to figure out what I want to do with my life! I know there is a ton of money to be made in nursing but I just don't get excited thinking about doing it for the rest of my life. My heart sings when I think of working with animals but I don't know if there is money to be made, one and two, if I have the time to devote to the education. Plus of nursing: short education time-frame, making base salary of $75k a year! Minus: working with sick grumpy people, working nights, weekends and holidays which is what I am trying to avoid. I love to write but when I feel like doing it! Deadlines aren't my friend! Just ask my friend who has been waiting 2 months for her article on animal fostering!

I am at a crossroads at my life and I don't know if I will be given another chance to get this right. I'm not old but I am not young enough to have all the time in the world! I need to figure this out for once and for all. I am waiting for a sign.

Mid Life Crisis Is Tiring!

2009-07-08T14:21:00.000-07:00

A Maverick Not A Quitter!

2009-07-07T14:36:00.002-07:00

I never thought in a million years I would say this but here goes: I have something in common with Sarah Palin. I don't support her politics and I think she may be opportunistic when it comes to the "selling out" of her children. We do agree on one thing: when you aren't happy with where you are in life, make a change!

I recongnize that this isn't easy! I am now just starting to search career opportunities and have actively searched on the online dating sites for the second day this week! For me, action goes a long way towards limiting fear in change! Change can sometimes be good! Besides, the fear of changing is far less for me than the fear of being 65, alone and living in a box! No room in the box for a dog so that isn't an option, no sir!

I just turned 44! I am by no means "old" but I am not getting any younger! Age is just a state of mind! My aunt graduated nursing school after her husband died and is making 6 figures...at 61! My mom graduated college and became an accountant after raising 3 kids on her own...at 45! Mid life changes can be good if they are planned and executed! I am not going to sign my life away on student loans to become a underwater basket weaver but with some thought and hard work, I just may be able to find a career I enjoy and make money! Retirement may be a possibility after all!

So hats off to sister Sarah! Go do what is you want to do and don't listen to your critics! In this instance, I truly believe you are a maverick!

A Maverick Not A Quitter!

2009-07-07T14:36:00.001-07:00

Just Stop The Madness

2009-07-06T23:54:00.001-07:00

One of the things that defines me is that I am a native Southern Californian. I am a flip-flop wearing, sunshine loving, beach going Angelino. I have always considered myself blessed beyond all belief to live in L.A., City Of The Angels. We have the best weather around, all the entertainment you can possibly imagine and opportunities on many levels abound. I LOVE L.A. and have always defended my city to the bitter end…….until now.

For the first time ever I am embarrassed for my beloved city, a place I love with all my heart. However, like in any relationship, sometimes there is disappointment. See, I live in a city with a school district in shambles that is in a state that is paying it's debts with Yous. And yet, someone feels it is important to spend a reported 2.5 MILLION dollars to host a memorial services for someone who many feel is a drug-addicted pedophile. Someone who made hundreds of millions of dollars and the CITY IS PAYING for this damn Michael Jackson memorial??? Police presence, trash pickup…….why are we paying for this??? Why isn't the Jackson family???

Look….I am someone who appreciates the early music just as the next guy! I have "Dancing Machine" and "Shake Your Body" on my Ipod. But does musical genius wrapped in a very troubled life deserve my tax dollars over students whose school district can't afford books or air? Absolutely not!

I can't believe I am saying this but can we just go back to the crazy media coverage of horny politicians!

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Just Stop The Madness

2009-07-06T23:54:00.000-07:00

God Bless America

2009-07-04T23:01:00.001-07:00

My thoughts these days are about reinventing myself! I am going to take the second half of my life and be something spectacular! The only limitations are those I put on myself, not ones put on me by any man or government!

I thank God that he gave me the blessing of being born an American

Women in other countries are lower than 2nd class citizens but not in America! Women such as Cady Stanton, Susan B Anthony. And Gloria Steinem made it possible for American women to vote, hold down a job, be responsible for their own lives! Today we have Hillary Clinton blazing a trail for the 1st woman president and working mom Michelle Obama is serving as the most progressive First Lady yet!

On this 4th of July, I would like to take a break and remember the efforts of the women who make it possible for this 44 year old to dream about doing whatever it is she wants! I stand on the shoulders of the wonderful women who blazed a trail before me and I am grateful.

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God Bless America

2009-07-04T23:01:00.000-07:00

My thoughts these days are about reinventing myself! I am going to take the second half of my life and be something spectacular! The only limitations are those I put on myself, not ones put on me by any man or government!

I thank God that he gave me the blessing of being born an American
Women in other countries are lower than 2nd class citizens but not in America! Women such as Cady Stanton, Susan B Anthony. And Gloria Steinem made it possible for American women to vote, hold down a job, be responsible for their own lives! Today we have Hillary Clinton blazing a trail for the 1st woman president and working mom Michelle Obama is serving as the most progressive First Lady yet!

On this 4th of July, I would like to take a break and remember the efforts of the women who make it possible for this 44 year old to dream about doing whatever it is she wants! I stand on the shoulders of the wonderful women who blazed a trail before me and I am grateful.
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Change I Can Believe In

2009-07-02T22:53:00.001-07:00

It is official: I am at the beginning of a mid life crisis. 44….single….sharing a house…no man…starting over at an entry level job that pays little money, working with 23 year olds who know it all….yep, it's a crisis. This is why I am going to take the next 365 days and improve 3 major areas in my life: career/finances, romance and health/fitness. I want to have my career going, a man who loves me and a bigger bank account by July of next year! Sweeping changes need to be made so that 20 years from now I am not sitting in a box under a freeway wondering where it all went wrong!

I can't be the only 40+ woman out there facing mid-life and wondering what the hell I am doing! Newly single, still single, I am sure there are many women, or men for that matter, making changes mid life! That is where this blog comes in! This will be easier and more interesting if we all share in the journey. One of the things I love to do is write so I'll start the dialogue! No holds barred, everything is game!

First steps:

Career/Finances: I am going to figure out what I want to do and how to do it. Research online, speak w/people, get educated.

Romance: I am going to make it a goal to connect with one man a week. Online dating is a start!

Health/Fitness: I started Weight Watchers this week and my 1st goal is to write down all I eat.

There is something comforting about taking stock of your life and then seeing the road stretching out before you. I figure looking at the life ahead of me is only scary if I don't do anything. I am usually great with the plan, not so good with the follow-up but I am using the blog to keep me accountable!

Living a quality life, the life you are meant to live. Oprah calls it "living your best life". I call it change I can believe in! Who's with me?

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Change I Can Believe In

2009-07-02T22:53:00.000-07:00

View From Mid-Life

2009-07-01T23:16:00.001-07:00

I don't know what I want to be when I grow up. The problem is that I AM grown up and still don't know for sure what I want to do.

Here is what I know I love:

Well-written Television

Animals

Technology

Music

Magazines

Pop Culture

Politics

Philanthropy

Writing

Hmmm…..not a lot of money making interests there. Maybe I can write a TV show about a guitar playing dog who Tweets about running for office?

I am slowly and sadly coming to the realisation that my opportunities to follow my bliss are over. I will never win American Idol, write a speech for Obama or marry Jon Bon Jovi. Maybe the goal needs to be to make as much money as humanly possible so I can retire at 65 and buy that ranch for homeless dogs like I want. It is with that in mind that I am pondering the idea of becoming a nurse. I can be educated and licensed in 3-4 years and have a career before I'm 50. That gives me 15-17 years to make a ton of money in a career that is recession proof.

Like my aunt pointed out, I have worked the past 20 years in jobs that I didn't like for no money. If I don't like nursing, at least I can be in it for the cash. It's a thought.

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View From Mid-Life

2009-07-01T23:16:00.000-07:00

I don't know what I want to be when I grow up. The problem is that I AM grown up and still don't know for sure what I want to do.

Here is what I know I love:

Well-written Television
Animals
Technology
Music
Magazines
Pop Culture
Politics
Philanthropy
Writing

Hmmm…..not a lot of money making interests there. Maybe I can write a TV show about a guitar playing dog who Tweets about running for office?

I am slowly and sadly coming to the realisation that my opportunities to follow my bliss are over. I will never win American Idol, write a speech for Obama or marry Jon Bon Jovi. Maybe the goal needs to be to make as much money as humanly possible so I can retire at 65 and buy that ranch for homeless dogs like I want. It is with that in mind that I am pondering the idea of becoming a nurse. I can be educated and licensed in 3-4 years and have a career before I'm 50. That gives me 15-17 years to make a ton of money in a career that is recession proof.

Like my aunt pointed out, I have worked the past 20 years in jobs that I didn't like for no money. If I don't like nursing, at least I can be in it for the cash. It's a thought.
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My Hero, My Friend Pt. 2

2009-06-30T22:22:00.001-07:00

It was 8 years ago that I met up with Val in the parking lot in front of her shop. She had mentioned weeks before that if I knew of anyone that wanted to rent a room, to let her know. Little did I know at that time that my entire family would relocate to Arizona and I would be alone. But they did, and I was. So I found myself asking if her room was still for rent. It was and I moved in shortly thereafter.

It has been 8 years of personal growth, healing and love. At the enter of it all is my dear friend Val! We first met in 1979 when I came in to her shop to get my hair cut for a school dance. 30 years later, I can't imagine anyone that knows me better! Honest when she needs to, loving at all times, Val is as true a friend as there could ever be! I count on her for advice, love and humour! She never lets me down.

Val is a hero to me because she is cheerful, hopeful, kind to a fault. She is at her best when helping others be at their best. I know being my friend is't easy. I am stubborn, moody and obstinate but Val just smiles and nods, knowing that the moods will pass with time and most often, caffeine. She loves me when it is't easy! At the most painful times in my life she has been there with laughter and smiles to make me see it will all be fine in the end!

I wish there were words that describe what an amazing woman my friend Val is! She is the kind of friend you hold on to for dear life!

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My Hero, My Friend Pt. 2

2009-06-30T22:22:00.000-07:00

My Hero, My Friend

2009-06-29T13:12:00.002-07:00

I veered off the monthly topic of heroes without honoring some wonderful ladies. This week I want to let you know just what makes them so wonderful!

I am going to start with an amazing woman! Selena has a masters from UCLA and is a LCSW. She was planning on working and raising a family until health issues put those plans on hold. While having things not turn out the way you plan is disappointing, Selena doesn't let it stop her! She is writing and sells Mary Kay. She didn't give up, she just revised the plan!

For example, while she is waiting to decide if raising children was the right thing to do, Selena adopted two wonderful dogs and became a great pet parent! She is training them and hopes they give back by being therapy dogs one day. There are hiccups on the way, but she is patient and determined, just like a parent should be!

Selena grew up in a dysfunctional family, much like mine! That doesnt' stop her either! When we both decided our sisters left something to be desired, we just adopted each other!

What makes Selena a hero to me is that although life hasn't turned out the way she planned or wanted it, she remains hopeful. She hasn't stopped living and tries not to let the disappointment get her down. I have seen people sidelined for far less than Selana has gone through and yet Selena keeps on keepin on! She reminds me that when life gives you lemons you make lemonade! She is smart, kind and very funny and a great friend! I couldn't ask for a better sister!

My Hero, My Friend

2009-06-29T13:12:00.001-07:00

I love my doog

2009-06-28T23:47:00.001-07:00

i have a Blog to post today about The wonderful weekend i spent With my aunt but i am having horrible problems with my computer. I have a dog a love With all my heart And soul but he just drooled all over my laptop while begging for poptarts so now IHave spacing problems and words That automatically capitialize. If I use my right enter key, Entire senteces highlight and disappear. it is horrible and Ihave Been Fighting It for 1/2 Hour now and I give up. so to keep uup with my Blog a day commitment i am posting this horribly capitalized and badly spelled blog better luck tomorrow....when The keys dry Out (ke

I love my doog

2009-06-28T23:47:00.000-07:00

Too Much Reality

2009-06-27T11:52:00.001-07:00

I wear it like a badge of honor. I feel it speaks highly to my character and intellegence. It makes me feel "high and mighty", as my roommate likes to call it. It is my disgust and disdain for reality T.V.!

What frustrates me is that there are well written scripted shows (Chuck) that struggle while shows that pander down to the lowest parts of ourselves thrive! Reality shows take very little money to produce and very little brain power to watch. Is this why they are so popular? We don't have to think at all to watch? Or is it the pleasure of watching someone who's life maybe a little more crazed than yours?

I thought the end of the world was truly at hand when Spencer Pratt and Heidi Montage ascended to the top of the "D" List! Fresh off their roles in a series called "The Hills", they became famous by virtue of them being the most annoying, boorish and generally ignorant people on earth!

Just when I thought Heidi and Spencer were as bad as it gets, along come another duo hell bent on ruining their lives for fame and money. What makes them even more pathetic than "Spiedi", as if that were possible, is that this new duo is dragging the lives of 8 innocent children thru the muck as well. I am of course talking about Jon and Kate Gosselin and their "8".

"Jon and Kate Plus 8", as I have heard, was a mildly entertaining show about a young family raising multiple kids. Then, it has been reported, fame went to the parents heads and it became a show about a couple falling apart! They became tabloid fodder and people became transfixed. Ratings exploded for the season premiere as people tuned in to see if they would speak of their affair or continue their tabloid fighting on the show. Sadly, the Gosselin's have announced their divorce on national TV. Shortly after that, TLC announced they were putting production of the show on hold. A rare wise decision in the reality TV world. As a product of divorce, I can say with experience, there is nothing entertaining about watching small children struggle with the fact that one parent is no longer around!

While divorce is no laughing matter, I do hope the Gosselin's tale as well as that "breakdown" talent show winner Susan Boyle had serves as cautionary tales to those that think reality TV is an easy way to fame and fortune. E!Online and Entertainment Weekly have declared their publications "Speidi Free" zones. For the sake of all involved, can we just make our lives "reality TV free" zones? We would put writers back to work and all be just that much more "high and mighty".

Too Much Reality

2009-06-27T11:52:00.000-07:00

Worth Fighting For

2009-06-26T10:38:00.001-07:00

The picture that is all over the news today is stunning! It is a picture of a young Iranian woman, beautiful, alive! Quite different than the picture of that same woman being shown a couple of days ago, the picture of the same woman after she was shot in the chest. In the older picture she is dead on the street, a victim of violence during protest! "Neda" has become the face of the Iranian uprising. In the instant she was shot, she became a martyr, the face of the cause. The cause is freedom!

It is easy to take our American freedoms for granted. I am typing this freely and will post it with my open access to the internet. I am doing this while watching "Morning Joe" on MSNBC and listening to them openly discuss what is going on over in Iran. Some agree with our president's stance to sit on the fence, others don't. They are, however, free to discuss their disparate views freely.

After I am done here, I will take a shower and get dressed. I can wear what I want without worrying about covering my head or if I have an inch of skin showing. I don't have to be concerned about being stoned if dressed inappropriately. To women of other cultures, the fact that I am dressing to go to work....a job to make my own money...is remarkable!

Actions such as dressing, working, blogging, to us they may seem basic but in other places in the world, having the freedom to do so is unheard of. Freedom from oppression. It is what the people of Iran were hoping for when they headed to the polls last week and what they are protesting for today!

As we head towards the annual celebration of America's rising above opression, commonly known as 4th Of July, I can't help but wonder when Iran will be celebrating the success of their own revolution. It will take just a few brave people like "Neda" to lead the charge. Then a momentum will grow and hopefully freedom and democracy will take hold.

I said jokingly yesterday that I am glad America's revolution took place before I was born. I can't imagine not being free to do what I want, where I want to do it and when! Just can't! That feeling is ingrained in me as I was born in a country where freedom is a given. I am afforded the right to freedom by others who have fought on my behalf. I am very grateful for the ones that have fought in the past for our country and those that continue the fight today. I hope the Iranian people will someday be able to look back and be grateful as well.

Worth Fighting For

2009-06-26T10:38:00.000-07:00

Goodbye Michael

2009-06-25T22:39:00.001-07:00

I am a member of the original MTV generation. I have many memories of my discovery of the channel like bargaining with my mom to get cable, promising A's and a clean room. I remember staying up that first weekend non stop, transfixed to what I was sure was proof that God is a music fan: 24 hours of these 3 minute visual and aural masterpieces. Videos! I couldn't tear myself away! It was so bad my mom eventually had to put a one hour a day maximum on MTV watching! Duran Duran "Rio", Bryan Adams "Cuts like a Knife", Devo "Whip It", all have visual pictures in my head thanks to the early days of MTV.

But my favorite MTV memory stems from an afternoon my friends and I spend around the TV in our living room, waiting for the first "long form" video. It was longer than 3 minutes, a mini movie! I remember thinking how cool it was and watching it over and over, even though I was more of a rocker than a pop music fan! I do love an event, however, and the debut of the video for "Thriller" was definitely an event!

When I heard the news today that Michael Jackson had died, I was taken back to that day in the living room. I felt sadness that one of our musical legends had gone but considered the legacy he left behind. Not the strange tabloid one, but the musical one. From his days with the Jackson 5 to "Off The Wall and "Thriller", Michael Jackson leaves behind a musical history that is timeless. Some of my favorite songs include "ABC", "Want You Back" and "Shake Your Body Down To The Ground", songs that make me smile, make me dance to this day!

I am glad I have memories of MJ that extend beyond the tabloid stuff. To me he is a great pop music maker. He was one of the greats and will be missed. RIP, Michael!

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Goodbye Michael

2009-06-25T22:39:00.000-07:00

The Dream

2009-06-24T22:08:00.001-07:00

Everyday at about 2PM, I have the same argument with the angel/devil on my shoulder. The angel reminds me that I am blessed to have gainful employment of any kind in this rotten economy. She reminds me that there are people working far less desirable jobs to barely make ends meet. The devil on the other shoulder reminds me that I really want to take my laptop to the beach and just write. Write about anything.

It finally dawned on me that writing is what I was meant to do. That is why I haven't really lasted or succeed in any 9-5 job! I think when, as humans, we aren't living up to our potential, aren't doing what God put us here to do, then the road is long! Sure, developing a career as a writer may not be the easiest thing I will do but I do believe if it's what I was meant to do and I believe it can happen, it will happen!

So with that in mind, I am embarking on a new adventure: the life of a writer! I am not crazy so for the meantime I have to keep the paying job. However, I have thought long and hard and I have a great idea for a blog! It is one that serves an under served market segment. My hope for the blog is to help others in a similar situation as myself and maybe by writing daily, help myself as well. I don't want to disclose too much but hope to have it up and running by July 1st!

Working towards a dream is scary but it's scarier to me thinking of wondering "what if" on my death bed. I am 44 and almost at the mid-point in my life. It's about time to start living up to my potential.

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The Dream

2009-06-24T22:08:00.000-07:00

2009-06-24T14:07:00.001-07:00

It is 2:07p and I need to shower and get to work. I am not overjoyed about going. I have reached the end of my usual 6 month tolerence with customer service. All I want to do is sit home today and write, read and hang out with the pups!

He's My Brother

2009-06-23T21:05:00.001-07:00

My two crazy Rotties are brothers, right out of the same litter! Bear is the more energetic of the two, Thor is the one that just wants to snuggle. They love to chew on stuffed toys and no matter if you give each one the exact same toy, they will want what the other has. Just like human brothers, they argue, beat each other up and then give each other a lick to say "its ok"! I have no doubt how much they love me, but I didn't know how much they love each other until today!

Thor has had some mild digestive issues lately that we have been keeping an eye on. So Val took him to the vet today! We put Bear out in the back yard so we could get Thor into the car without a problem. Bear went crazy! He couldn't understand where Thor went! To silence the wailing, barking and pounding on the door, I let him in after Thor and Val had left! Bear had a look of panic on his face! Where was Thor going without him? The two have never been apart! He ran to the front door, to the back. He ran upstairs and downstairs! Bear put his paws up on each window pane that he could reach in hopes of seeing Thor. He came into my room with pleading eyes. "Where is my brother", they would say as he whined a questioning whine. I hugged him and tried to comfort him with treats but the frantic pacing and whining continued.

I always stand firm in my belief that dogs understand when they are spoken too. Thor even talks back! Like a petulant child, he will grumble at me when he dosent get his way or he will growl sweet nothings when we are having our lovefests (petting and hugging on the floor). This afternoon with Bear was the first time ever I wished dogs would flat out speak English! I wanted Bear to understand that his brother would be fine even if I wasn't sure myself!

It had been over an hour when I saw Bear's ears perk up. It was before I heard the car doors shut! He flew down the stairs with speed and stood guard at the door! A look of relief came over his face as Thor came through the door! Bear started licking his face with joy! I wanted to remind Bear this is the same dog that steals his empty peanut butter jars but it wouldn't have mattered. His playmate, his brother was home and safe, nothing to show for the trip than maybe a stomach bug. Thor was home and this made Bear one happy dog!

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He's My Brother

2009-06-23T21:05:00.000-07:00

2009-06-23T13:51:00.001-07:00

My two crazy Rotties are brothers, right out of the same litter! Bear is the more energetic of the two, Thor is the one that just wants to snuggle. They love to chew on stuff toys and no matter if you give each one the exact same toy, they will want what the other has. I have no doubt how much they love me, but I didn't know how much they love each other until today!

Time to roll up your sleeves

2009-06-22T13:19:00.001-07:00

I received this email from President Obama today. I am sure he sent it to me personally. At any rate it speaks to something near and dear to my heat, volunteering. The email read:

"Dear Friend,

Last week, I announced United We Serve – a nationwide call to service challenging you and all Americans to volunteer this summer and be part of building a new foundation for America.

And when I say “all,” I mean everyone – young and old, from every background, all across the country. We need individuals, community organizations, corporations, foundations, and our government to be part of this effort.

Today, for the official kick off of United We Serve, members of my administration have fanned out across America to participate in service events and encourage all Americans to join them.

The First Lady is rolling up her sleeves and getting to work too. But before she headed out today, she asked me to share this message with you.

Our nation faces some of the greatest challenges it has in generations and we know it’s going to take a lot of hard work to get us back on track.

While Michelle and I are calling on every American to participate in United We Serve, the call to service doesn’t end this fall. We need to stay involved in our towns and communities for a long time to come. After all, America’s new foundation will be built one neighborhood at a time – and that starts with you.

Thank you,
President Barack Obama"

There are great resorces out there to help you find opportunities in your area! Google has developed a wonderful new search engine, All For Good, specifically designed to search for service opportunities around the nation. The administration has their own as well, serve.gov. It can be as simple as putting volunteer opportunities and your city into Google!

I am very excited the Obama's are leading a summer of service. I love to voluteer! There really is a great feeling in helping others. Plus, you get benefits as well! You meet new people, experience new things and help others! It is wonderful! And to all the singles out there, conventional wisdom is that you meet quality men/women while voluteering. I'm just sayin. What ever your motivation is, take a weekend day a month (or more) and volunteer!

Time to roll up your sleeves

2009-06-22T13:19:00.000-07:00

The Father I Wish I Knew Better

2009-06-21T20:56:00.001-07:00

People assume that because I didn't grow up with my father I don't know anything about him. That isn't exactly true. There are a few things I remember.

One of my earliest memories is one of my dad making breakfast. He made amazing pancakes and eggs. So good, in fact, that we would sometimes have them for dinner. Through my dad I was introduced to sugar and butter, not syrup, on pancakes.

He also introduced me to Johnny Cash. I remember my dad singing Folsom Prison Blues and Boy Named Sue around the house. He had a great baritone voice. My dad loved Cash, Dolly Parton and lived by the musical motto "there are two kinds of music...Country ...and Western".

I also remember my dad being a fiercly proud Marine. I knew what Iwo Jima and Mount Sarabachi were before I knew what Grover was. My dad was stationed at Camp Pendelton when I was born and some of my earliest school memories took place while we lived at Camp Lejune! My dad felt he got out of the military way too early and probably would have died active military if he could. He believed in God and Country and serving both.

Maybe my favorite memory though is one that happened when he was fixing the taillights on my car. He didn't want me to drive from Sacramento back to LA with a faulty taillight. While the car repair was routine, it was the conversation that was memorable. It was the one where my dad told me that he could have been a better father and should have been around more. I could tell with the sadness in his voice that he truly regretted missing birthdays, graduations, first dates and all the minutae of raising kids. He never had any with my stepmother and I felt bad for him. I also felt relieved to hear him say sorry!

I speak in the past tense because my dad died early last year. My stepmother didn't bother to call. We found out, rather fittingly, from the military as they cut off my mother's access to his pension. I don't necessarily miss him per say because I don't feel I truly knew him enought to miss him. However, given the chance, I do believe I would have known a truly good man.

The Father I Wish I Knew Better

2009-06-21T20:56:00.000-07:00